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soupiesoup , 31 Aug 2010

I told one person, now he's passed away...

So, I have picked my feet for years, to the point where they were horrible and sore and raw. I have done this since I was about 11 years old, I used to focus on my hands but I eventually found my feet instead. As I got older They began to get really bad but I was able to conceal it through out my screwed up teenage years and through college where it became extremely bad. I got married at 25 and somehow managed to conceal the fact that I constantly picked at my feet by wearing socks ALL THE TIME, and saying that I had athletes foot. He finally caught me scratching at my feet while we were on the couch watching a movie and told me to stop! Finally I told him what I'd been doing and he only insisted I stop when ever he would see me do it around him. I never stopped. Eventually He passed away and I decided to get some tattoos to commemorate our love. I was at my worst picking ever, I began to dig deep into my flesh and bleed every day. I thought then, where better to get tattooed but my marred feet. All I would have to do is heal up in order for me to be able to get the courage to go to the tattoo artist. It would be cathartic and in several ways. SCREW IT! I couldn't wait. I went to the shoe store and bought those little black socks that only cover the bottoms of your feet and decided to get the tattoos without totally healing. ( it had been about five days without picking ) the tattoos took about an hour and a half on each foot and covered the dorsal side in colorful reminders of my life with my husband and myself. As the most painful tattoo experience I've ever had was ending and the "sock trick" was working, the tattoo artist said, "Ok, time to wrap these feet up in plastic". My heart started pounding, my secret was going to be discovered. And then I thought, eh, so what, I have these beautiful tattoos! I just wanted to say, It's been 9 months since I got these tattoos, there are still places where I pick on my feet, not on the bottoms anymore, more like on the sides, but it's hardly noticeable, and the bottoms of my feet are beautiful, maybe because of the tattoos. Maybe I'll always be a picker, but I'll not always be someone who only told one person. thanks.
1 Answer
Popcorn47
September 02, 2010
Well how did it feel to come clean? I'm surprised in a way you waited so long. I know lots of us here can't or don't hide it really but come up with bizarre excuses. Most of my life except the past 20 years, I've had really rough and dry feet and always wore socks to bed too. But sometimes, there are things where you just can't keep the socks on. I've never told one single living being about this. My husband only knows by default because he sees me doing it or sees the aftermath

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