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hello everyone, i am brand new here and crying tears of joy and remorse for all of you and myself. i cant believe i found this site. i sweep this under the rug so much, that i dont even try to help myself, ive never really even looked for help. anyway, i pick mostly at night when my boyfriend is at work. i also pull(trich) but not nearly as much as i used to, and thank god for that. i do not have bald spots anymore and it is truly by the grace of god. i have never been properly treated, ive never had effective therapy, so i know god has worked here with me to help. the skin picking however, has only reduced because i live with my boyfriend and cannot afford to be all red when he sees me. until tonight, he has known nothing about my picking, he attributes the scars to my keratosis, which is what i have previously made him believe. im relieved but also scared that he will now see new scars and know that i caused them myself. i need to get help for this. i begin culinary school on the 20th, in 4 days, and i cannot go on like this. i have scars all over my legs and arms, im sick of feeling not normal. i dream of scar removal but there is no point if my symptoms refuse to cease. what should i do?!?!! i have no money for any sort f professional treatment.