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KerriAnn , 23 Sep 2010

Does anyone pick their cheast or other areas to avoid intimacy or relationships?

Is there anyone out there that pick at their cheast and surrounding areas. I have 4 large scabs I have created in that location. I think that sometimes I purposely do this to avoid being intimate with a man. I have always thought my boobs were too small and undesirable. But numerous men have complimented me about them, well not when i had scabs on them. Im not exactly sure why I do this to myself? I currently am not in a serious relationship but I am kinda dating someone. Last night I was to embarassed of my scabs I refused to engage anything sexual. He was confused because just recently we had been intimate but now due to the new scabs I can't engage in intimate things with him. Its a horrible and confusing thing to me. Why do I pick my skin in places that i know are a part of an intimate experience? Deep down I want to be with someone and become intimate. I think about it all the time. But I feel like my skin picking is holding me back from have an actually relationship with someone. Does anyone else feel this way? Or have had similar experiences? I would love to hear some responses about this issue. Thank you for taking the time to read my concerns. It means alot to know that there are other individuals out there with the same serious problem that I have kept hidden for soo many years.
5 Answers
September 30, 2010
I don't pick near my breasts, but I have gone after my back. I mostly pick at my face though. Still, I can relate. It has stopped me from being intimate for sure, or at least made it more difficult. I've learned that going to bed with makeup on leads to absolute disaster, so its sometimes nerve wracking to be in bed with someone without cover up. Im ok with the lights off, but I always worry about the morning. I will sometimes have wounds that "weep" at night(probably my body trying to heal), and it can leave marks on pillows which also sucks. I try to just let go now. Its so much more painful to have to worry and worry about it, and then rush to the bathroom in the morning, id rather just enjoy the person Im with and not spoil it.(wayyy easier said than done though!) Its hard, but I try to will myself to just not make it such a big deal/spend so much mental energy on it. When I am able to relax about it its great, it feels like I am giving myself a gift. I totally sympathize with you. Being ashamed of our bodies robs us of so much, its too bad it keeps us from contact and intimacy sometimes.
October 01, 2010
Yes I've done this for the past 13 years since I was sexually assaulted literally the month after I developed breasts. I didn't realize until recently, but I've only focused on the area near my right breast which is the side the perpetrator focused on during the assault. I haven't slept with that many people as a result and I guess picking at my skin was a way to insure that I was too embarrassed to ever get intimate with anyone. I'm married now and it still continues from time to time and my husband doesn't know what to do with me...
October 21, 2010
hey, im only 14 but I know what your going through. At first it wasn't to avoid being intimate, it was just a nervous habit. But after a few moths I convinced myself to stop, it was hard, but you just have to keep telling yourself that there will be really bad consequences if you keep it up. Once I stopped that, I started picking at my genital areas though and THAT was to avoid being intimate. I had my first serious boyfriend and I didn't want to do anything stupid (I am only 14 after all), and I'm not very strong willed. I knew that if it got hott I would do something so I picked and picked until it got to a point that I can never let him see down there even if I wanted to do something. I regret it so much, I have scarring and nasty skin from just a few months picking. For your problem, just tel yourself you can stop. It sounds corny, but believe in yourself- its your body and you have the power to stop. And whatever you do, DONT do what I did. You will regret it a lotttttt more. Good luck!
October 22, 2010
I have a few marks in my breasts and even nipples from the picking. One in particular is larger than the other and very embarrassing. When I first got with my boyfriend I didn't feel comfortible with my shirt off at all, because I was embarrassed. Even now if I pick down there, I do my best to try to 'hide' it without acting like anything is wrong. Thankfully he's never asked or questioned my scars, though I know it's noticeable.
October 24, 2010
I'm a 23 year old male, while having scars on the chest probably is worse for a girl than a guy I know how you feel. I actually have a lot of scars on my chest, and on my back as well. I used to be scared about intimacy with an older girlfriend years ago but I asked her one time if she noticed my scars and she said she didnt. I have a lot more now than I did back then but none of my girlfriends have said anything about them, so I'd just explain it to the guy. If he freaks out about it then he probably doesnt care enough about you to accept a few of your flaws, I mean you'll either have to stop seeing him or show him eventually so I'd go ahead and do it already. Take it slow at least though, explain then show him, I wouldnt let him just find them because that might surprise him and be a real mood breaker. You ask if he has any body flaws that hes ashamed of, it'd help you to relate to each other and become closer?

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