skin picking makes me so depressed

In a strange way I'm surprised I'm not alone cause I feel alone when I Squeeze my face. Hi my name is Nicole and i"ve been squeezing my face since my early teens. Im 32 now.. Crazy right? I always felt alone. my Mom doesnt do this? but in someway it satisfies me. Im a pretty anxious person. I always obsessed with my pores cause I always squeeeze around my nose chin back forehead everywhere... It makes me feel helpess.. At times I wont do it for a very long time and I use all these expensive creams and my skin looks clear but to me I feel that because I've squeezed my face soo much that the acne is my fault. Its like when I was young I didn't like my nose.. somebody told me it was big once so i hated it and had a nose job when I was19. I hate that I let people get to me. I would never say that to someone. ANd my nose was not big, I would of never had a nose job or wore alot of makeup I feel this has ruined me inside . Its hard to accept who you are int his world today I could of. To bad we can start out at 30. I havent squeezed my face in a long time but now i just did.. I feel miserable that i do this> sometimes I wish I could start all over again There was nothing wrong with me I was a cute girl I dont know why we put aorselves down so much. We all deserve to be loved by ourselves and someone else. We are just human... Feel better everyone.