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socalgal , 03 Oct 2010

new, and putting it out there

So this is the first time I have searched for help with my addiction and this web site has really helped me...Just the fact that I know this is a "mental condition" really helps me to accept myself a little more, just like many others, I always felt like I was gross or the only one out there doing skin was one of my best attributes, although I still am told I have beautiful skin, for years this has caused me so much pain and hatred for myself....Somehow while I was "hiding the fact that I was picking my arms" I managed to get my career going, get married, buy a condo "w/ a view (distant, but still) of the Ocean", and have two beautiful smart children... and remain happily married. My skin picking has become more and more obvious over the years. My story started when I was 18..a close family friend pushed crystal on me and I had a horrible incident in the shower (caused from lack of sleep), where i tore my very normal arms to shreds...after that healed I had to return to High School to graduate...this became a habit because I was so disgusted with myself, for doing this in the first place...the first few years I just imagined things to pick at, in the trance like state...because of constant irritations, I devoloped Keratosis then I had a reason to pick...for me its like a ritual...get home from work and pick!! ( I love my Job!!) However I do still wear tank tops, it used to be only my upper arms I picked, then I moved down to to the tops of my forearm...the most obvious place..these are mainly the only face, legs and torso are clear...I am not keeping open wounds either, I more am picking a zit...but it has become either a very bad habit, or something more like a cumpulsion...I have not seen any post about a med that works good at this one children had had nervous habits too, Daughter bit nails, cured her of that with a reward son 2.5yrs goes into trance state and picks at his perfectly normal cuticules....have to start a reward chart with him....exercise is helping me a lot too at the moment...good luck and love to all of you suffering with this, we are in it together!!!

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