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lexie , 18 Oct 2010


Don't even know where to begin. The compulsions to pick- and pick and pick. The rage. The shame. The avoidance. Feeling like no one around me understands. I should be in class right now. Instead I'm hiding. My face is covered in raw spots from where I have picked and picked and picked at pimples. Make-up only makes it look worse. I can't go out in public. I can't let people see what I do to myself. People always tell me how beautiful I am... Constantly. Sometimes I wish I'd never heard it from a single soul. Maybe then I wouldn't be so obcessed with it. It's a curse. Always so obcessed with vanity. If I don't look good. I don't feel good. I know the cycle. I know exactly how it starts. Why it starts.... and I still can't stop. I've been seeing a therapist for almost a year.... it really doesn't make a difference. I'll even skip our sessions out of shame for what I have done to myself. I need a support group. People that really get it...
1 Answer
October 18, 2010
I totally get it. I don't pick at my face, but I know the feeling of obsession you're talking about. When people tell me I look good, I feel like it's going good and I need to work out more and lose more weight, when they agree they see no difference with me on a diet - I feel like I'm doing a bad job and it makes me want to eat a lot less, but I love to eat and I can't make myself starve, so I feel guilty, and I pick at my hands and so on... I get in a pointless vicious circle all by myself. It's just an example to show you you're not alone. We're in the same boat, fighting the same shark ;)

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