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inapickle , 30 Jun 2008

face picking

I've picked my face probably since I started high school. I'm now a sophmore in college. I do notice I pick when I'm bored or before/after I get into the shower, before/after I wash my face and when I'm studying which obviously causes me to become stressed which triggers me to pick my face when I should be studying or doing homework. It's gotten harder and harder for me because I pick on a daily basis and my family notices and i feel embarassed. I don't want my friends to notice ever, I'd feel even more embarassed if they knew what I do sometimes instead of going out. As a result, I use countless make up products just to cover my skin imperfections from picking. My parents always tell me I could stop but honestly I feel like I have no control over my face picking. I used to pick my back, chest, and shoulders but since have gained control over picking these areas and shifted my picking to my face only. I've read alot about CSP and how it can be linked to an eating disorder or BDD. I've never been diagnosed with an eating disorder or BDD, but I have to admit I have serious issues with food. Ever since I was in my sophmore year of high school I've become obsessed with dieting and I have frequent urges to be on a diet. I've dedicated alot of time and energy to losing weight. My weight has fluctuated from 110 pounds to 135 pounds probably. I know the anxiety I have about food and the self-esteem issues I have about my body can very well be causing me to pick my face. I definitely have a problem with perfectionism...I just want to be able to stop picking my face and I feel like I'd feel that much better about myself. It scares me that this can be a lifelong condition but I know sooner or later I will have to admit to this "sickness" and get help. If anyone can identify with my face picking and/or possible BDD please share your story with me.
2 Answers
July 11, 2008
I too pick my face. I would say I have done this throughout all of my teenage years, but it seemed to get much, much worse in my twenties (I am twenty five now). I can spend hours squeezing and picking at the same spot(s) in a trance like state. The worst thing is that I never had spots naturally as a teenager or suffer with them if I can leave my face alone, I make them appear purely because I can't stop touching my face! After I admitted to myself that I have this problem I have tried to find any information on the internet, but it seems like there is not much out there. Most say it is linked to OCD, Body Dismorphic Disorder or perfectionism. I can identify with the perfectionist element as I seem to think I am 'getting something horrible out' when I squeeze my face. Strange because my face has always been the part of my body that I like the best. Sad really. I can get really frustrated with having this problem. There are times when I don't want to go out because I have made my face look so bad by squeezing self-made spots. Even though I can go long periods without doing it so much, it always seems to come back and haunt me and I feel even more let down by myself because I can't beat the urge.
July 13, 2008
I go through the same thing. I don't think I have an eating disorder but when I was in highschool I would count calories and try to eat low fat foods only. I do flucuate weight between 110 and 125 lbs. I go through periods of picking usually after I get out of the bathtub at night. I feel like a loser for admitting this stuff, I go through a lot of makeup trying to keep my bad habit a secret. I don't really have acne sometimes Ill get a random zit it'll be small not noticeable but Ill turn it into something huge and scabby. I'll get real close to the mirror and find things on my face that know one else would notice unless they have a microscope maybe a single blackhead then ill tear up that spot trying to "purify" my skin of the blackhead. Afterwards Ill see the horrible embarrassing mess Ive made on my face and be stressed and depressed about it so that results in more picking it's like im trying to fix the picking with more picking. I don't want to be like this it makes me insecure but Ive been picking since I was about 14 Im now 23. Im working on stopping trying to stay away from the mirror for awhile.

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