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scarie , 29 Nov 2010

Why do I do it? Why, why, why???

Agggghhhh. I am so frustrated with myself at the moment I don't know what to do. I had been making good headway in not picking, I had only really been picking the dry skin off my face, not the spots and bumps on my arms and legs or my breasts. But I have just fallen off the wagon and absolutely massacred myself. I look hideous again now - and I know I won't be able to stop picking the scabs that will form from what I have done again. I hate it and I hate myself for doing it. I'm never going to be able to stop, I haven't found a way out in 18 years. I just want to be able to be comfortable with my body but I never can be. What the hell kind of life is this that I have made for myself? I'm getting to the stage where I can't even pretend to be normal anymore. Anyone else feel like this? Sorry to rant but I needed to get it out somehow.
3 Answers
November 29, 2010
I'm sorry this happened. I do that sometimes too - almost like a binge, I guess, at least in my case. Please don't beat yourself up over it. Take a deep breath, and if you have a journal, write down what was going on before you started picking this last time. I find journaling clears my head. If there's something bigger thing going on right now, or if you're bored or lonely (happens to me), call it out.
November 30, 2010
I think we all have these moments and yes its an addiction and we fall off the wagon. Do as suggested write down things that may have triggered this relapse. hugsssss
December 03, 2010
Yes yes YES! That is how I feel all the time! Its like no sooner do I get to a point where my skin has some semblance of being normal, and then I go INSANE on my skin and its all over again. I hate meeting new people, because I feel like instead of paying attention me, they're looking at my arms and my face. Ive seen a dermatologist, and its NOT helping. Believe me, you are not alone! And venting is good sometimes, so never fear. :) And don't blame yourself! Its not our fault that we have this problem. Everyone here knows how you feel.

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