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gretna , 11 Dec 2010

love/partner picking

i actually think i've posted this before but i can't find the old thread. use to pick at myself compulsively. for the most part i've out grown it. sometimes i'll have a bad day and pick at my skin but its not that bad. my problem is actually picking on others. it has to be someone that i am somehow close too. so far i can think of only two solutions to this. only date people with perfect skin and also never sit closer than two feet to anyone. i guess it combines some other problems like boundary issues. what compels me to do it. is for one thing i want to pop blemishes. if someone is close to me and i sit near them my attention focuses on it. but also if i am intimate with the person i feel like its a way to be affectionate. like i'm taking care of it for them. but also i just want to pop them.
5 Answers
December 16, 2010
I have the same compulsions to pick people. One of my brothers has really bad blackheads and I practically have to wring my hands to keep from springing at him and squeezing his face. Everyone in my immediate family and my husband knows that I have a thing about picking, so it's not a surprise when I say, "OH MY GOD you have to let me get that for you" about a particularly bad pimple or blackhead. My husband hates it because he is a wuss about the pinching, but I make him let me pop the big ones. Otherwise I just can't concentrate, period. It makes me sick to know that there's one I can't pop and he knows how crazy it makes me so if I throw a fit he'll let me. :P
January 05, 2011
i do this too! it drives my husband absolutely crazy but i don't really know what to do when he has a really big blemish because it drives me even more crazy to look at it and imagine what it would be like to pop it. i know it's unhealthy but i can't seem to help it. have you found any techniques that help?
January 06, 2011
I think I am the opposite, I hate when others picks because I feel like they are going to end up like me. Maybe if you think of it that way it'll help. If you pick them, they will start to pick themselves. I know it's not that simple, but it's at least a reason to try and stop.
January 07, 2011
oh my gosh i didn't even think about that but i completely do that, if someone has a spot on thier face i cannot look away i desperately want to pick it (although i fight the urge obv) but also boyfriends more often than not if im touching them and i feel a spot or scab i really need to scratch it, with a couple of my ex's they have let me squeeze thier spots but on another i used to just pretend to be scratching thier back and deliberately catch the annoying mark on my nails which i have always kept long! I have always felt it was affectionate aswell, i have only done it with the few partners i felt really comfortable also i remember my mum always used to ask me to get the spots on her back (which oddly i hated doing and would often say no) but it was an affection thing, she would get mine and i would get my sisters (almost as if we were chimps)
January 07, 2011
Now that you mention it, I've had the thought of doing it to my boyfriend, but I absolutely know he would not let me. And I'm glad he has enough will power to prevent me from doing it. But the desire to do it to him is so small compared to my own picking, so I never think twice about it anymore.

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