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Holes. , 17 Dec 2010

Anyone have (or feel like they have) gaping holes for pores from picking?

I just came across this site not too long ago, and after reading through a lot of people's stories on here, it really is shocking to find out how much in common I have with all of you and how identical my "issue" is or "disorder", whatever you want to call it. I am 18, going to be 19 in 2 months, and previous to this year, I really never thought about skin or picked or anything, and my skin was flawless. I had a few months of experimenting with drugs and drank very excessively starting fall 2009 until about Februray this year and at the same time I was cheated on by a girl I have been with for a very long time and from that point on, I have been unhappy with my appearance and destroy my face about 1-3 times in a week, and hide myself (literally don't leave the house for anything) for anywhere between 1 week- 3 months at a time. Because of this I dropped out of high school in my senior year, lost my job, lost friends, and lost myself. Whether its from all the craziness and heavy drug and alcohol use, or stress or being devastated from being cheated on, it has become my obsession, and everything prior seems like a dream. Without going on and on, the worst part of it all to me, is that I have probably 100-200 ice pick scars/scarred pores/enlarged pores all over my cheeks from regularly picking at my face until its completely red, swollen, and bleeding. My girlfriend and family swear that it's not a big deal, and that I look the same, but every time I look in a mirror, which is most of the time I'm awake, I see someone else an older, rough, tired looking, ugly prison of a body that is a constant, haunting reminder of the terrible choices I have made. What I would like to know is, has anyone else developed these enlarged pores/giant gaping holes in their face from picking non-stop, and if so how do you deal with it, and is there any possible treatment for them? I really hope to hear from someone soon. I've been out of hope for a long time, and within the last few months have found myself seriously contemplating suicide.
4 Answers
December 18, 2010
Dear Holes, you are not alone. Please seek help if you are having suicidal thoughts. I don't want you to die, Holes. I care about you. This community cares about you. I used to have suicidal thoughts too because it seems the skin picking will never end. I found my therapist on this website in the list of providers in the treatment section. Healing is a slow process but it is possible to recover. I'm working on it myself. As for your enlarged pores, you can have a filler like Restylane or collagen injected into the scars or have a chemical peel or do laser treatment. These treatments are done by a cosmetic dermatologist and are expensive. Now you know there are options out there to correct your skin, but it's more important to heal your inside struggles first. Don't give up the fight!
December 18, 2010

In reply to by lifeisbeautiful

Thanks for your support Lifeisbeautiful. I'm glad to hear you have overcome those overwhelming thoughts. I have researched a lot about possible treatments, and what I have found about enlarged pores from picking, or scarred pores as some call them, there is no very effective treatment to date. Some suggest fractional laser, but there are reports of other pores that were healthy prior becoming damaged and scarred in the process. Right now I'm just taking everything day by day, trying to stop picking so I don't cause further damage, while trying not to look at myself at all, and hoping that I really don't look as bad as what I see in the mirror. I'm starting to really think I have BDD as well, especially from the reaction I get from my girlfriend when I explain to her how I see my reflection.
February 10, 2014
I see holes in my face as well. I'm pretty obsessed with holes - I'll sometimes look for hours at pictures of holes. But I know, deep down, there are no holes in my face. I have pores, but no holes. And I hope you come to realise that as well. You have no holes, it's only the bully in your mind telling you so.

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