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RRW513 , 24 Dec 2010

I'm new

I'm R, I am 24 years-old. I don't think I've ever admitted to anyone that I obsessively pick , but I do. I pick just about anything that I can pick weather it's pimples or black heads or just a pore that doesn't look right, my nose, my scalp, my scabs. I have picked my nose ever since I was a kid, but I guess at some point it became abnormal because I never stopped, and I can pick it all day long if I am alone. I don't really hide my other picking. I guess everyone picks their scabs and such on occasion so I figure people will think it's normal when they see it. I know I've picked my scabs since I was in 4th grade. I used to hide my picking when I was younger, but ti's gotten to the point that I don't even know I'm doing it anymore. My arms and legs are covered in scars. People tend to think I'm a cutter because I have so many scars, which I guess I used to be, but those scars are not on my arms. Every now and then I tell myself I am going to stop and then with in an hour or two I am back to picking again. I try and pretend that it's normal and it doesn't effect my life, but I am fairly sure that no guy wants to date a girl who picks her nose all day long. I am lucky enough to have an amazing boyfriend of two years, but until I met him very few guys stuck around for more than a couple of weeks. I've never discussed the fact that I pick with anyone, not even my boyfriend up until a few weeks ago when I told my mom I wanted to see a psychiatrist because of my picking. She didn't seem to think it was a big deal at all. The thing is, I'm not sure where to start. I'm fairly broke, and though I do have insurance, I have no idea if it covers that, and if it does it will still cost me at least $50 a session. I guess I just thought if I reached out to some people who have the same issue I would feel like less of a freak, and maybe get the courage to discuss it with someone or actually start to try and get help.

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