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I am 19 years old and have been picking since I was about 14 or 15. My freshman year of college was probably the worst year for me. As an engineering student, I'm faced with lots of stress and I coped with it by picking. Since I've begun to identify my problem, I have done much better about staying away from the mirror. However, I still can't kick this habit. I have milia bumps all over my face and they never go away. Ever. Even when I don't pick. And it kills me. I keep picking and picking because I get so frustrated with my skin and angry at it for not clearing my bumps. As a result, I attack it. All I want is for all of the gook to get out so my skin can be flat again. Yesterday was the worst attack yet. Needless to say, my entire face is now red, swollen, and inflamed. While most people treat their acne with acne products, I'm applying antibiotic ointments to heal the scabs and scars that I've created. Because honestly, I don't even have acne. I have scars and scabs. The emotional consequences of picking devastate me. I can't go in public and if I do I have to wear makeup. My mother looks at my face and always expresses so much concern about it. She is frustrated and hurt by the fact that I pick and thinks it's stupid that I can't stop. When my face is like this, I ignore almost all of the phone calls and text messages I see. I don't want to talk or interact with anybody.