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Triskele28 , 25 Jul 2008

Now affecting my marriage...I NEED TO BE DONE PICKING for myself and my marriage!

Ok, I dont want to go into so much detail without knowing that someone is listening (actually reading). But basically, I am so thankful for finding this site & forum! It is so nice to not feel alone. I have been dealing with an anxiety disorder all of my life (I am 30 years old) and have recently began coming to terms with having symptoms of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder in particular- severe skin picking. I have ALWAYS been a picker of sorts, but it has been more severe in the last few years. My arms are destroyed, my face and back are scarred and my chest has been my latest problem. My husband knows I am a picker. If he catches me, he makes me stop. He reminds me of what I am doing to my body and has even been known to take pictures of my back when I dont know so I can see the damage. He is trying to help. I have noticed our sex life has been non-existent. He has recently told me how unattractive my skin is to him and how he is sad because it doesnt feel the way it used to and how when he sees what my picking has done to my skin it makes him sick to his stomach and therefore decreases his sex drive. My first reaction was anger...however he is right! I want my sex life back, I want my self esteem back, I want a lot of things back! It's really hitting me now. I have been searching the web for info and came across this site. I am proud to be a member of this forum! I think it is good to put words to your hidden fears, bad habits and compulsions, because then you can begin to stop! I hope someone else can identify with my personal situation, and I look forward to sharing my thoughts and reading everyone else's to help support me in my decision to stop picking NOW.
3 Answers
July 27, 2008
Hi. I've been off the forum for too long! I needed to get back-on after another couple-week-picking-spree. We all feel your pain. I'm sure most of us have had relationships affected (directly and indirectly) from this issue. My husband is too nice! (Cause he knows i'm the BEST!!!!) Anyway, even though he'd never criticize my appearance (he knows I'm my own worst critic) I feel so self-conscious sometimes that I avoid physical touch, etc. I also tend to avoid social situations occasionally--which is incredibly painful for me because I have two little kids who are "on the go" and I love being with people. There is hope, though: take me as an example!--I used to pick at anything and everything--even teeny innocent pores. Now, I only bug the real acne or big scabs. In fact, when I was pregnant and breastfeeding I had almost PERFECT skin because my acne subsided. I didn't have anything "real" to pick at and was a model citizen. I'm in my early thirties now, and have had this bizarre (but not unusual) breakout. I have a dermatologist apt. for next week and hope to resolve the acne issue--which will resolve the picking issue. My point? With a conscious effort and some real therapy you can slowly resolve this issue. I believe in you! Rachel
July 29, 2008

In reply to by liberty13

Thanks for your support Rachel. I understand completely about picking affecting relationships and social situations. I long for the day for sleeveless tops and feeling more confident at the beach with someone else besides my husband (who knows I pick). I have already subsided my picking since I posted on this forum. Somehow when you put words to it, it hits you. I have noticed when I put something on my arms (this is my trouble spot lately) like lotion or a mask, it helps me to stop picking at them because it is a physical barrier and when I go to pick it reminds me that I shouldn't! I just need to get over the hump of healing up the bumps and scabs I have now, I know I won't pick as much if I didn't have anything to pick. I am thrilled about finding this forum! It helps to talk with other people who have the same quirky issues. It is very hard to talk to people that do not have compulsions to pick. Anyway-Keep me posted on your dermatologist appt...I am curious since I have been that route also. Take Care!
July 30, 2008

In reply to by Triskele28

Hello Friend, It is nice to talk about this strange habit, right? One of my goals lately has been to share it openly with as many friends as possible. When the situation arises, I just speak candidly about it--I mean, it's already the elephant in the room--it's not like they can't see the obvious signs (scars, pock-marks, scabs, etc.) Women seem to liberally share their "emotional addictions" with food, shopping, etc. Mine is just as valid, even though a little more obscure. I've found it helps to just admit you have a problem. It helps you get more support and "move on." One little tip: Never let yourself get fatigued. Another blogger brought this up, and it's SO TRUE. People turn to the "carnal" side when they're tired. They eat more, drink more, play around with porn, etc. Us pickers pick more. Get to bed at a reasonable time, keep the bathroom lights off at night, and try to have someone with you (your husband, right?) All invaluable tips to ward away night-time pickings. Keep up the crusade, Rachel

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