Online Test

Find out the severity of your symptoms with this free online test

wolfandthefox , 07 Jan 2011

Hello, this is my story

okay so yeah i am 22 and have been picking my skin for as long as i can remember really, i have keratosis on my arms so lots of red raised bumps and i guess it started there i used the squeeze the ones that got a white head and feeling satisfied when it erupted, then i started focusing on my shoulders for a long time that was it, but in the past i guess 3 maybe 4 years i started picking and squezing at the open pores in my chest resulting in big scabs which of course i picked over and over untill they scarred, everytime i let one heal i pick 3 more currently on my chest i have maybe 15 or 16 different picked areas. i also moved onto the ingrown hairs around my stomach again which resulted in huge scabs and scars i even once picked at an ingrown hair on my pubic area which was really sore and painful for a long time. I didn't know there was a name for this i thought i was the only one, i have hidden the scars away for so long and made so many excuses for why they are there. I found out about the name for this condition on an episode of Law&Order someone on it was scratching and themseleves and a doctor called it dermatilomania and explained in, instantly i jumped on the computer and checked it, after i read the wikipedia page i burst into tears and didn't stop crying for at least an hour, i don't know if it was because i realisedhow little control i have over this (i have always told myself its nothing) or if it's because i realised i am not alone but it felt good to let it out. I told my ex boyfriend who i am incredibly close to, he's seen the scars before but never really asked too much about them, i think the realised i didn't want to talk about them in the past, but today he let me talk and cry and just let it out and then instead of saying nothing (which is sometimes his way of dealing with things) he helped me come up with soloutions he found this site for me and is contributing towards me getting some acrylic nails put on next week ( i loved my nails, i am so proud of them because they are naturally a nice shape and have very white tips so i always kept them long and hate the way my fingers look when they are short but after i read up about this i cut them short which was an emotional moment) he also told me if he is helping pay for my nails (they are so expensive here like 150dollars a time!!) he is going to hold accountable which is something i need desperately, he has also set up a workout plan for me to follow, something i have been trying to do for a long time in order to feel better about myself is too lose weight. I think the reason behind all this is a mixture of OCD - i have a lot of other ocd like traits as do most people in my family and BDD - i have thought i had some form for a long time, back when i was bullied at school i began to comfort eat which definitely started a cycle of body hatred and looking back on it i think the picking is part of that, i sometimes feel like if i am skinny the picking will stop, i know this isn't true but i guess it is the way my brain rationalised it. as it is when i am slimmer i am going to be left with scars on my body which everyone will see. so i have decided enough is enough this is the year i am going to break these cycles no more picking i will do whatever it takes to stop! I would love to talk to other people that have this, i can't really imagine telling people in my life about this, they wouldn't understand.
2 Answers
January 07, 2011
I can really relate to your story. When I found out that what I was I was doing was a disorder and other people had it, I cried for a long time. I've cried numerous times since then about the whole subject. It's great that you have some support, but I agree that I wish I could talk to more people in my life about this. I think it's great that we have this, because we can get support from a group. I used to say that I would stop picking once I reached my ideal weight. Well, I just finally hit my ideal weight after 5 years- and it hasn't stopped ha ha. I've realized that there's no point to waiting to heal and get better because the right time is now. Good luck with your healing! :)
January 08, 2011

In reply to by caitlin90

Thank you good luck to you too. i told my best friend today and he said he kinda already knew but didn't feel like he could ask me about it. im so greatful that he knows and doesn't judge but it also scares me that he knew and had noticed its one of the things i thought hidden so well and now i feel like there is a crack in my shell :/

Start your journey with SkinPick

Take control of your life and find freedom from skin picking through professional therapy and evidence-based behavioral techniques.

Start Now