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heavymetalfan , 21 Jan 2011


So... I posted in here about 7 months ago. I had gotten very sick, thought I had lymphoma. Turns out, that wasn't it; it was a virus that laid me out for about 2 months straight though, and that really sucked. Still don't know what it was, other than the fact that it WASN'T mono. Anyways... to my point. I stopped picking for a while. Then I ended up being unfaithful to my boyfriend of nearly 9 years, came clean to him about it- it's been a day-to-day struggle trying to work things out with him. I don't even know what our current standing is, but we hang out, he gets sick and mad at me (I've felt so much guilt and done everything in my power to invest in our relationship with an open, honest approach). It's a vicious cycle where we stop talking, fall madly in love again, stop talking, etc. Enough whining about that, though... case in point is that I've gotten a lot of acne due to stress, which leads to popping, which leads to picking. So while I feel I've taken one step forward, it's always followed by 2 steps back :( Then something happened last night that left me feeling extremely embarrassed. While I've come clean to my boyfriend(?) and parents about my picking problem- they've known about it for years, my mom decided to change my bed. Unfortunately, I let my scabs accumulate into a few massive piles, ironically on top of my college diploma on my headboard. Forgetting to dispose of them (I compulsively let them pile up and I end up throwing them away all at once so I don't leave a mess all over my house), apparently my mom found them and took the liberty to do so herself. It's completely mortifying. How should I handle this with her??? Should I talk to her about it, or pretend it never happened? I'd like to think she's THE person I would confide in about my biggest problems, but even this seems like a bit much to me :/ Also, please share if you've had any similar experiences. I really don't want to feel alone!

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