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mandyls , 27 Jan 2011

If I have it, I pick it...

Well this is my first time putting my problems down for others, so this is kind of a big step for me. I've never said it to anyone, not even my best friends or my husband when I was married. But I'm sick of it so I thought I would look online to see if this was an actual problem, because to be honest I didn't know it actually was..ok get on with it right? Lol Well the nose picking I started when I was 2. That's still a funny story for the family because I wouldn't eat it, just stick it all over my cheeks so whenever anyone came in for a kiss they got a little surprise. Good news is I stopped sticking them on my face..bad news is I'm still picking my nose. GROSS! But I can't stop! I'm 22 years old and I pick my nose. It was so bad that when my son was born I was excited I had another nose to pick! And was bummed when he got old enough to blow his own nose and didn't need the nose sucker. Same thing with my daughter, loved cleaning hers out too. I was obsessed with it, always looking up their nose to see if there was anything I could get out. Their noses were cleaner than my kitchen floor I'm sure! So that's been with me basically my whole life. Next comes the blackheads. I have pretty good skin. So the options for me to have a lot of fun with that were limited...until I met my husband. His back was covered. And I would sit there for hours and pop all of them. Now that I'm thinking about it that's really odd and he never thought anything of it. Even when he would fall asleep before me I would pick at him trying not to wake him up. Ugh that sould have been a sign, right? I'm divorced now but I still have mine that pop up on occasion. Its sad when ur a woman and ur actually excited u have a zit... One big one that I never heard of anyone doing that is the hardest for me is picking at my eyes. I think it started when I was 7 years old. I remember me having one of those white goopy things in my eye blocking my vision. My mom saw it and got it out for me. It felt so good to get it out that I actually started looking for them. My mom would give me a mirror for long road trips cuz she knew I would spend my time picking at my eyes. And I get them constantly now. A dr told my mom when I was about 10 that bcuz I'm putting dirty fingers in my eyes my eyes r producing the "eye boogers" to get rid of the dirt. So what was his solution? Stop picking..yea ok doc..with my husband and now friends I just have to always act like I got something in my eye..when really I'm just dieing to pick at them. Wearing makeup helps some..but for the most part I just dig in..I'm worried about my vision esp after doing it for about 15 years constantly. It would sometimes get to the point that my eyes were swollen over my eyelids and the skin on the inside of my eyelid would start to peel off and I would just be ripping skin till the pain would finally make me sit on my hands till it was over.. My most recent problem is ingrown hairs. This started about 3 months ago. Me tweezers and a lamp is like chocolate and a lifetime movie for me. I do it for hours. If I go to the bathroom to pee I can be there forever picking. Or if I give my kids a bath I put shorts on and sit on the toilet to pick while they play. Or I just sit on the couch till my neck cramps or my legs start to burn. But its just getting to the point that I have scabs all over my legs from it and I can't stop. I bought a really cute short dress with some tights that were sheer and I could still see the scars. And I picked before I put the tights on so there was little dry blood specs all over that I didn't notice. Which I'm sure people prolly thought I was drizzling my time of the month all over..good thing they didn't think I was picking..that would have been embarrassing. So that's my story. I'm sick of the pain and torture and the fear of someone noticing my horrible habits. I hope this site will help me. Any feedback from anyone will help me a lot. Thanks for taking the time out!

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