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Idoitallintx , 27 Jan 2011

I do it all and the needs come and go

I started out with hair pulling as a child as a coping mechanizing to stress. It didn't evolve until high school when I started to rip out the hair and roll them into balls and kept them in my pocket as some sort of security blanket. Weird I know. But my anxiety lead me to alcohol and drugs which I abused for years. I'm sober now and in the program as they say, but I started nose picking in the last few years before sobriety when my marriage got bad. I used fingers but I also started using sharp implements to pick. The first time I drew blood i was hooked, for me it was about the rush of endorphins I would get from drawing blood. I hid it best I could from my husband but my problems with alcohol and prescription drugs was alarming him. I went to treatment for depression and self injuring behavior in 2007. While I was there I got the help I needed. I stopped pulling my hair and stopped drinking. The pills were harder to break, but eventually got there. I'll have 2 years sobriety in april. But the nose picking is impossible to break. It's internal so nobody sees it, but Now tat I don't cope with stress with drugs my picking is back in full swing. Face, cuticles, scalp nose. All of it. It comes and goes though. My ex husband is getting remarried here in a couple of weeks and that has set me off again. I have a nasty cuticle infection as I sit and type this as well asba full head of scabs. My nose is looking gross around the nostrils. The good news is that I'm vain enough to want to so something about it now. I don't like wearing my shame where others can see it. I do take meeds and see a counselor and psychiatrist regularly, but something about right now all the meetings and prayers can't help. I just have to wait this out. I know it will pass and I can just do little things to prevent infection. But it's good to be able to talk with others that share the same inflictions. I have been wearing bandaids on each finger and cutting fingernails real short to prevent scratching at night, my favorite time. I would love to hear others tips.
1 Answer
January 29, 2011
I too went through treatment for alcohol and perscription drug addiction and like you when I put down the substances the picking got really bad(face and scalp) so I can relate to what your saying. Don't under estimate the power of prayer. I choose to call my higher power god and I have to believe if it was powerful to stop my drinking it can help me in every area in life. Its good to keep the faith with you always through our struggles. Prayer alone without action is futile though. I began to recover from my compulsion to pick my face.when I asked for the.strength to help others suffering with this same illness (the 12th step). I check this forum daily and even if I don't feel like anything I have to say is useful, I just come on and share my experience. Being of service to others is always a way to stop us from focusing on our own problems that can be overwhelming at ttimes. W.p. Sorry for any typos im on a new phone and still getting use to the touch keypad!

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