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Beautifully_Re… , 18 Feb 2011

Is there anything I can do?

I've never heard of a site/blog like this but I'm so glad it exists. I'm relieved I'm not the only one out there with this kind of problem. I don't know what to do anymore, I've completely destroyed my body. I've seriously had moments where I've burst out in tears because I can't stop or make it go away. I've dealt with it for a while now but just recently it has gotten worse. I only pick on my arms and legs, but they are repulsive! I tell my self everyday I will stop, somehow condition myself to not do it anymore but it's IMPOSSIBLE. I even went and purchased $40 dollars worth of scar/scabbing lotions and cremes but of course none of them are doing anything because I won't let the scars heal. It's actually beginning to make me REALLY depressed. Summer is coming up and I don't know how I'm going to reveal my skin/body. I'm 21 years old & attend college, I know my classmates will be disgusted and shocked by my arms. I can't even go out to clubs/bars without having to worry about my arms and legs. My friends and family don't understand why I can't JUST stop, and quite honestly I don't know either. I really feel like something is wrong with me and I'm tired of it taking over my body. I mean, I've always had self-esteem issues but for the most part, I've been reinforced from society that I'm a pretty attractive girl ...when I'm covered up. My scars/scabs are hideous and they're making me feel even more hideous. I don't know what do to anymore, this is sickening. I've always thought about seeing a therapist but never pursued it. I went to my physician and she merely told me to keep them moisturized. I don't want to KEEP doing it, I want to STOP. So, I don't know, should I make an appointment to see a therapist? Will it work? Are there any specific cremes or lotions that will make this go away? SOMEONE PLEASE HELP.
2 Answers
February 20, 2011
I pick at my arms and legs too. I'm sorry but I am not a success story, not yet at least. I don't know when you tend to pick but for me it's right before bed when I have nothing to do. If you also pick during down time I would recommend keeping your hands busy doing something like knitting or even just squeezing a stress ball. Also out of sight out of mind really applies to me, when i'm looking at or feeling my wounds that's when I loose control and pick but if i'm wearing long clothes a lot of the time I won't think about it. Another thing that has been helping me is wen I feel the urge to pick I look at a photograph I took after a particularly bad picking session and it lessens the urge. A therapist might be a good idea, I am debating whether to see one or not. I'm just not sure because for me the picking is a habit and it does seem to relieve daily stress but I don't think there is a major crisis in my life or really a huge reason for why I pick so i'm not sure a therapist would really clear it up for me but it's worth a try.
February 21, 2011

In reply to by amber89

I think during free time is when I really do it but sometimes I'll randomly pick on them without even noticing. I have such a busy schedule so I really don't know how I even find time to do it. I try covering them by wearing long sleeved shirts and pants but I always find a way to get to them. They're actually beginning to hurt sometimes and yet I still do it =/ It's getting pretty bad and I really need to stop it. I already have such a bad self-esteem, this is making it 10x worse. I might try the photography, it sounds like a good idea. And the therapist was my last option but I think it's finally come to that. I thought my picking was merely a habit too until I went online and read all these facts/stories about how it's a disorder and how it's related to various things. I mean, I have stress in my life but nothing too bad ...But who knows, it might be something unconscious. I'm going to feel really weird talking to someone about this in person (even though I'm studying psychology and am planning on doing the same, ha) but we'll see. Thanks a lot! I'll take your words into recommendation. I hope you figure something out too.

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