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Bitterbrew , 25 Mar 2011

What helps me

I have mentioned it before on here, but since it's been helping me lately I wanted to say it again for emphasis. Picking at skin is definatley an anxiety issue which I am sure no one here can dispute. And on days where I am especially stressed out or worried or anxious I find myself picking a lot more. And sometimes, it just starts in the morning and I can't seem to get out of that trance all day. Picking, then stopping, picking again, like I know I have a lot to do, but feel overwhelmed and would picking seems to fill that feeling of accomplishment even though once you snap to reality you just wasted however long you spent picking. On those days, I really stop and clean my skin wherever the damage was, and make myself start on some sort of project. Then at the end of day I am happier that I did actually accomplish something. That helps with the depression too. But sometimes I get into these ruts where every night is picking picking. But when I talked to my pyscicologist about it, she said there is no pill to make someone stop, but she perscribed me xanex. And for awhile I was taking it everynight, and my skin looked amazing. I got good sleep and felt too relaxed, and I was able to get my mind under control (when I start to think way too much, I pick) And my bad times are night times. Although I felt my body get addicted to the Xanex, which I didn't like, cuz I started to NEED it just to calm down. I stopped taking it for awhile, and since I had sort of broke the habit of picking every night I didn't pick for awhile. I still have bad nights, and I still have my xanex there when I need it, and if you can identify (which is sometimes the tricky part) when you might have a bad picking day or are more stressed out, I take a xanex. And just keep it in check that my body doesn't become too used to it. My doctors were amazed that how disciplined I am about my xanex, since it is a highly addictive drug. But if you can handle it or it's no problem for you, I think it's worth a shot to try.
1 Answer
March 26, 2011
I think you've done a great job, congratulations to you! I'm on anti-depressants most of the time, because they let me be myself. without them i eventually spiral down into a anxious depressed little grease-spot. I know i could live without them, but why make life harder? if i had a broken leg, or diabetes, or anything physical i would be thought mad to not get physical or drug treatment to make my life better, but yet we still think that getting drug treatment for the mind is 'cheating' somehow - i know, i sometimes feel that way too. But it is truly ridiculous. On medication i am actually myself, me at my normal self. no, i'm not great every day, i still have ups and downs, but without meds i just don't have any ups at all. That's what i mean when i say normal, ups and downs, but always striving for more ups that downs, and normally succeeding! the very few side-effects that i get from medication is a very small price to pay for having my life back! I can honestly say that medication saved my life when i was at my worst point, and at the moment i want to continue with them as i am still working on my project,'A Better Version of Me', but i'm sure i will try life without them again in the future to see what i'm like underneath. But if i am just essentially and anxious/depressed person underneath, then i'm continuing with medication, like an asthmatic on inhalers, so i can live my life sympton-free. Well done, Bitterbrew, you're an inspiration!

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