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lvndestin2007 , 25 Mar 2011

I really need some major help; I hate my skin...

Where do I even start? I'm a compulsive skin picker. Very, very compulsive. And, starting tomorrow, I'm trading the emotional release that my skin picking gives me for better self esteem and healthy, clear skin. I can no longer abuse myself in this manner - I'm choosing to STOP. I'm a 24 year old male, and have been picking both my face and my arms since I was about 11 years old. I remember seeing my mother pick her face, and how I began to do the same myself. At that age, I only had a few noticeable pores on my chin that I would pick. Now, 13 years later, I pick everything on my face - nose, cheeks, chin, jaw line, neck, ears and forehead. I also pick my arms. I sit on my bathroom sink and scour my face for any imperfections - blackheads, white heads, bumps of any sort (most of them are completely invisible to anyone but myself) - and squeeze so hard and for so long until my face is barely recognizeable. I end up looking swollen and red, like I've just been stung by a hive of bees. I pick some of my blemishes so badly that a tiny blackhead the size of a pinhead can turn into a sore the size of a dime. My picking sessions usually last between 30 minutes and 2 hours. When I pick, I'm in a complete trance - going from one imperfection to the next for hours. It's not until I finish picking, and back away from the mirror, that I can see the complete picture of my damaged face. It's been so bad that I've called in to work on several occasions - and completely avoided leaving my house, to avoid the embarrassment of everyone staring at my face. I also pick my arms - so badly sometimes that it looks like I have the measles. Last night, I picked both my face and arms until close to 1 in the morning. Before my shower this morning, I shaved my face, and began picking again for another 20 minutes. My face looks terrible, and I had to go into the office today or my boss would have chewed my butt. Thus far today, I've remained in my office and completely avoided looking at anyone in hopes that no one will notice my face (though I'm sure they already have). I can't keep doing this - something as crazy as obsessive picking is ruining my life. So... Tomorrow starts day one (yes, I've been here before). The longest I've ever made it without picking was a measly 3 days - but I'm starting over. I have to do it for myself. I've been doing alot of research to prepare myself (, and I'm ready to try again. Living like this is miserable and I cannot continue abusing myself...
2 Answers
March 26, 2011
good on you! it sounds like you're 'dumping' the picking like a bad relationship... "I'm sorry, i don't think you're good for me. Once you helped me but i don't want you in my life any more. It's not me, it's you - i want you to go!" You sound ready to beat it, and i really think that is the first big step - being really ready. Something i'm trying at the moment is a little bit of self-illusionism or something. I was thinking - what exactly do i want to be like? and if i was like that tomorrow, how would i act and behave differently? Now i'm going to act and behave as though i'm already there, and sort of cut out the middle man, and pretend i'm already at my goal and see how that works. Don't feel ashamed of it. Other peoples problems just tend to be less visible, but everybody has them! good luck for today, you CAN DO IT!
March 26, 2011
I do exactly what you do. A blackhead the size of a pinprick--turns into a wound. What is really annoying is that I keep going over the same areas-the same red marks---I hope they will still fade. I did do well for almost two weeks though. I changed my thoughts and stopped prodding-stretching and poking my skin to find stuff-I tried to be reasonable and if there was a proper spot with a head-then I'd put a bit of tee tree oil on it or a tiny bit of garlic and it helped it to disapear. I have to get myself back on that track really. I read the link you posted : ) I think it was worth a read wasnt it- -X

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