Hopeless

Hi. I am new to this site and so grateful it is here. Yesterday I joined another site but realized that the posts were from last year or longer. I struggle with CSP. I have been hiding in my house all week because of the damage I have done to my face. My story is like every other one I have read. I can't stop as many times as I have tried. I isolate in my house because of how shameful and embarassed I am. I lie to friends and my bf with excuses as to why I have to cancel plans. My poor family doesn't know what to do. I also struggle with addiction and bipolar. I have been clean though for about 6 months and have no desire to use. Picking brings some kind of relief that drugs did but like drugs it is a bad cycle. I pick for the relief but feel awful after and then pick again. It seems never ending. I can be good for a week and not pick and then I relapse. I have never felt this bad before. I am extremely depressed. My parents tell me to stay away from the mirror and to just stop. They tell me I can quit using drugs so just quit this. They say no one can stop it but me. I know all of this. I am trying. I tell myself that if it looks this bad so I might as well finish what I started. I know my thoughts are insane. I have been doing a lot of research on this lately and have written down some of the methods people use to help stop. I wish there was some "magic pill". I am happy this site is here. I feel like no one else understands. Please feel free to reply.