FED UP! MUST STOP PICKING!!

Hello, I have been a skin picker since my early teens... I love the feeling of picking and squeezing my skin to feel better. I do this a lot when I am stressed or have to be around a person or people I can't stand or who are rude to me. I used to only do it to my face mostly but then when I started experiencing panic attacks in my early 20s it spread to pretty much all over my body. I was able to control it and used to go tanning or use self tanners to camouflage and then clear my skin. I was almost 100% before I was married and for a few years was able to keep clear. Then my in-laws started pressuring me to have kids or go back to work. They were so horrible and that triggered me to start picking again. Now when I learn that my sister-in-law and her brat of a kid are coming to visit I pick even more because the dings and the behind the back comments right in front of my face (she uses a nick name) are enough to make me start picking right then and there. My mother in law is a real pill too. She has always been a pain in the butt, even when my husband and I were dating before I even knew her. She would tell him that he's too young to have a girl friend and way too young to get married. Then the insults started shortly after we were married. I was super skinny before, now I'm still thin, but according to her I'm "fat". She is such a nasty person, always so patronizing and witchy. Anyways, I have learned to better myself to drive her nuts. The only thing is that I still pick a bit. I have mastered it to only pick on part of my body mostly... my right arm. It's so hard in the summer because I can only wear long sleeves or 3/4 sleeves. She even comments on how hot it is and I agree. If I did wear a short sleeve or tank I would look beyond amazing. I don't know why I keep doing that to myself. I would love to show up to her crappy house looking perfect but no matter how hard I try I couldn't. I am 25% away from normal skin and something is still holding me back. No matter how many times I tan and heal up I am always back to picking. I stopped drinking caffeine and started using a natural and non harsh soap so it has gotten a lot better. I will try to get out of the bathroom a lot quicker and avoid looking in the mirror. After reading some posts I realized that it helps others. My husband and I want to go on vacation and I want so badly to be able to wear a t-shirt this summer. I am giving myself 2 months to get over this picking for good because I'm so fed up. I also noticed that people who do show their skin do have imperfections yet they still wear them. That makes me feel a lot better too, knowing that you don't have to be perfect.