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PazzoBella , 18 Apr 2011

Day 2 of 21- one day at a time

I'm so relieved to know that I'm not alone in this! I've been picking at my face since I was 17- this stemmed from an emotional and physically abusive relationship. I'm 24 now and am currently engaged to an amazing guy who I've been with now for a little over 2 years. I'm in the process of ungergoing laser treatment for the scarring and hyperpigmentation on my face from all the picking I've done over the past 7 years. Well... 2 weeks ago, the owner of the spa called me in to talk to her about my skin and to confront me about the picking. She informed me that this was a disorder that needed medical attention before we could move forward with the laser. I assured her that this wasn't an issue and I could stop at any time. I was wrong. Two days ago I started picking at one tiny little whitehead, and before I knew it, 4 HOURS of picking had gone by and I had COMPLETELY destroyed my face. Any and all progress that had been made in the healing process for my skin to undergo laser treatment this week was lost. That's when I truly realized I needed help. I broke down and opened up to my fiance about my problem. I had never told him about my picking and I'd hoped I would never have to. To my surprise and horror he said he kind've already knew, he just didn't know how to bring it up without upsetting me. I broke down into tears and he said he was really glad I opened up and confided in him about it. I told him that I couldn't do this alone and I needed all the help and support I could get. I surrendered all tweezers and sharp implements that I had used to pick and dig at my skin and my fiance happily disposed of them. He recently quit smoking and he told me that it takes 21 days to form a new habit and that 21 days should be my first goal. I'm on day 2, and while I still have the urge to pick at every little imperfection, I know that I can't because if I do I won't just be letting myself down anymore, I'll be letting him down too. Like with kicking any bad habit, you just have to take it one day at a time, and more importantly, not beat yourself up over it. Just take deep breaths and keep moving forward. What's done is done and all we can do is learn from our mistakes and take positive steps in moving forward towards not only, beautiful healthy skin on the outside, but more confident, happy beings on the inside. I'm on day 2 of 21 if anyone would like to join me in moving forward- I truly could use ALL the help and support I can get. Thanks :)
2 Answers
April 19, 2011
Hi, i do exactly the same, i just realised today after so many years of picking my face i have a problem. i do the same i use tweezers to pull at my skin, it makes me feel better when im doing it, i do it when im down more. and then after i see my face in the mirror and realise what a mess ive made, but im addicted to doing it. i wish i could stop, its destroyed my confidence and i dont want to go out. i told my finance what ive been doing, i felt like a complete weirdo telling him, and he was actually understanding. I went to the dr's today and he has given me anti depresent tablets to make me feel better about myself, but looking at all the side effects im not so sure? will this help me with my addiction to picking i dont know. wish i had all the answers. Im having microdermabrasion next week so hopfully that will work wounders on my scars.
April 20, 2011

In reply to by stacey

Hi Stacey! Thank you so much for your comment. CONGRATS on telling your fiance! It's not easy telling the person you love, not to mention scary and embarassing. I have to say, it was the best decision I could've ever made. It was like a huge weight had been lifted off my chest and heart. He has been incredibly supportive and nothing short of loving through all of this these past few days (I had JUST told him on Saturday.) He was more than happy and eager to dispose of the tweezers for me. I had four pairs of tweezers (3 of the regular kind and 1 set of the pointy kind.) That was the second best decision I made over the weekend. I've realized that it's damn near impossible for me to pick at my skin without having a set of tweezers at my immediate disposal. I also know telling him about my problem wasn't enough. If I hadn't handed over all my tweezers to him, I know that I'd probably be standing in front of the mirror right now turning my face into yet another bloody massacre. I also keep my nails VERY short. Not having long nails to pick with has also helped tremendously. It's sad to think that I can't own 1 pair of tweezers, or have nice long nails, without turning either one into a self-mutilating weapon. I've also been trying not to look too closely into mirrors and even avoiding them at all cost. I made a promise to him and to myself that I wouldn't wear ANY makeup so that my skin can breathe and heal. This has been EXTREMELY hard for me b/c I'm absolutely disgusted by what I see when I'm not wearing any makeup and I can't help but think that he must feel the same way when he looks at me. I've been using Cetaphil face wash, witch hazel, and mixing tea tree oil with 100% pure aloe vera gel to help speed up healing and to combat any bacteria-causing breakouts. The combination of all of these has really been helping my skin to heal and so far no new breakouts to obsess over. I was also told that anti-depressants would help with the picking but I'm not a fan of all the side-effects that come with taking them. My fiance called me earlier this morning and told me about an all herbal supplement that helps with depression and anxiety called St. John's Wort. Apparently it's been around for a really long time and has virtually no side-effects. He's supposed to be picking some up for me on his way home from work. He said you can find them at Walgreens. As far as microdermabrasion goes, I used to get them all the time, and with the right esthetician, they really do work wonders on your skin. I saw so much improvement and it would've been even better if I wasn't still picking on a regular basis. Each time old marks would start to fade, I would always create new ones for my esthetician to work on. I literally threw away thousands of dollars on microderm treatments b/c I wasn't ready or willing to give up picking. My skin would probably be flawless today if I would've just left it alone after receiving a multitude of series of microderm treatments over the years. This is why I am now opting for laser treatment. I figure if I see results sooner, then my hopes are that it will motivate me to just leave my skin alone PERMANENTLY! Now the only thing holding me back from getting that laser treatment is ME. So I HAVE to just keep doing what I'm doing and let my skin heal so that the specialists at the laser spa can move forward with my treatment. I hope I was able to help. We just need to stay focused and stay strong so that your microderm treatments and my laser treatments don't end up being for nothing. Please keep me posted. I'm anxious to hear all about your progress :)

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