Online Test

Find out the severity of your symptoms with this free online test

Scarred4lyfe , 29 Apr 2011

New here and ready to talk..

I have had an issue with picking at my skin ever since I was little. I am now 26 yrs. old and a mother of two beautiful children. When I first started picking at a young age, I had convinced myself that it was quick way to heal the wound. I noticed the more I picked the scab every time one formed, the quicker there was nothing left to bleed. I wasn't realizing that what I was doing was just causing scars on my skin. They really weren't noticeable when I was little. In my teenage years..I didn't really do much picking that I can really recall. I mean I have always been fascinated with picking and seeing what comes of it...but it was only here and there. My picking really became out of control when I was 23 and pregnant with my daughter. I was going through a very emotional and stressful time. Due to increased hormones during my pregnancy... I had broke out with pimples a ridiculous amount on my legs and butt. (I have only ever shared all this info with like 2 ppl this is hard.) I didn't even realize that every time I was super stressed out or very emotional I would start picking at all these pimples one by one until I was a bloody mess and in pain. I would then go to extreme measures to cover it all up with makeup in fear of my boyfriend seeing it on me. I was so embarassed. I struggled with it in secrecy for quite some time. I was so ashamed that it stressed me out even more and made me feel depressed. I felt like some kind of freak but I couldn't stop. I even had favorite areas and scabs that I especially love to pick and the more painful the better. It gave me a rush of euphoria for a moment and then the high fell and left me feeling twice as low. I would cause wounds on my face sometimes that I would have to try so hard to cover up so as not to be embarrased in front of others and if ppl noticed it and pointed it out..I was mortified. Mostly I kept away from my face and I started focusing on my legs. I fixed alot of thing in my life and got on track, accomplished alot for myself but still the stress of being a single mom stayed with me and I spend hours at night (not even realizing hours had passed) disecting and picking anything I could find on my legs. Again, I had favorite scabs I loved to pick and would end in a bloody and painful mess. I would slink away to my bed ashamed and in regret. I'd cover up my wounds with makeup and tell myself I won't do that anymore...but by day 2 at max...I was back to my old became a vicious cycle. By the time Summer had come around I was so embarrased to don shorts or my bathing suit. What would ppl say about my legs...I was so embarrased that I scoured the internet looking for professional makeup that burn victims used to make their skin look normal. I WANTED TO PUT THAT ALL OVER MY LEGS! Make up that is used for BURN VICTIMS! I realize now how extremely desperate that was. I had mentioned it to my mom not realizing how crazy it seemed and that's when she realized my problem. I showed her my legs and all the scarring..and she was sad for me. She tried to give me suggestions to stop...but it became something where I could pick and not even realize I was doing it watching tv or talking with someone. Eventually it got better....alot of my scars had faded but you could still see them. I'm not so sure if it's the face that I was able to fight it...or that there weren't really any wounds or sites on my skin for awhile that were worthy for picking. It atleast allowed me some time for my scars to lighten. Well, now I'm back at it and the worst part is I feel it's going towards my kids...whenever they have something on their skin that looks like I could pick and reap he benefits of seeing some weird white stuff attached the scab(the bigger, the better) I either end up messing with it on their skin or seriously fight the urge not to. It's also to the point where my kids are telling ME not to pick..that it's not good and could make you bleed. They are six and three....I shouldn't be the one needing to be told. I'm afraid I'm going to pass this on to my kids because they see me doing it alot...especially when I'm doing it out of habit...I need help.

No answers yet

Start your journey with SkinPick

Take control of your life and find freedom from skin picking through professional therapy and evidence-based behavioral techniques.

Start Now