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Kellys , 08 May 2011

Day 1 success!

I have picked for as long as I can remember. I can't remember a time I didn't pick, it started with acne in my teen years & over the past 10 years progressed to arms, chest... Anywhere there was an imperfection. My husband couldn't understand why I couldn't stop & neither could I, because I didn't know why I was doing it or what was wrong with me. It was only when I went on the Internet & found this site that I finally realised I'm not alone, & that there is a reason for it. Reading this site I now realise I have an obsessive compulsive personality & my desire for flawless skin (something I've always wanted but never had due to teen acne) is my reason. I've realised that OCD tendencies have assisted & I'm now at the point where I can't do it anymore, I can't take my husbands disappointment in me, I can't take wasting time picking when all I'm left with is self hatred, scarred skin & sadness that I cant wear sleeveless or low cut tops. I love fitness & would love to look like a fitness model but how can I when I'm ashamed to get my skin out? Well ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!! I don't want to spend another year ashamed of my holiday photos. So. finally feeling like I know why I do it I'm hoping I can stop it! I decided yesterday was my DAY 1. It was only when I was conscious of it I realised how I would subconsciously just put my hands to my face or arms to pick, I didn't even realise I was doing it half the time. I realised everytime I went past a mirror I would stop & pick so I made an effort to not look in any mirrors other than when I needed to! The result I went a WHOLE day with NO picking whatsoever & when j went to bed I told my husband what a monumental thing it was. I can't remember the last time that ever happened. I opened up to him & told him to not let me pick him (something I loved to do before) because although it's not me it's still duelling the habit. So here I am on Day 2 ready to do it all again. It's not easy but I feel now I know the reasons behind it ( stress, OCD feelings) I can finally for once in my life control it & not let it control me. It's gonna take me much less time to get ready in the mornings now.... Thank you all of you for sharing your stories & helping me get through this! I know it won't be easy & I'll face struggles but I'm hoping once I start seeing my skin improve that will be all the motivation I need. Thanks for listening.
2 Answers
May 08, 2011
Day 2 - no picking! It's harder today than it was yesterday but I've been talking to my husband & he's really supporting me so I feel stronger. I have a blemish on my chin & I have not picked it, usually I would have picked & picked & probably not even got anything out of it. I'd just be left with a red Mark & a scar! I've been reading the forums today & I feel so sorry for some of those opening their hearts. I've felt terrible, sad, ashamed but it's clear that this condition can really impact people's lives & not in a good way. Thank god there are forums like this to help people like us!
May 09, 2011
I'm glad you're doing better with your picking. When I found this website, I didn't pick for a whole month. I'm starting to again, but I'm doing my best to keep visiting this website to help me stop. Maybe doing the same will help you. Good luck! And remember, it is possible :] never give up hope.

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