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frustrated , 10 May 2011

1 day nearly completed

Hey all- So yesterday I had a little breakdown, and I found this site. I posted my introduction and how I became this horrible skin-picker, but hope was in sight. I read all of your posts and for the first time felt like I wasn't alone. I have lied, made excuses to go into the bathroom and pick, made reasons why I had wounds and scabs. But yesterday I knew it had to end. I read one post that challenged me to go 10 days without picking. It's 9oclock, I am about to eat dinner and go to sleep, and I am so close to coming one day without touching my face other than putting make-up on. I wrote on my mirror yesterday 10 days. and tonight, I get to put down the number 9. And I am going to do this! Something changed in me yesterday, and I pray that I can continue to feel this way. I told my boyfriend last night about my problem and he made me feel so much better. I really told him it made me hate myself, and I felt like the wounds made me ugly. But telling him these things changed everything. I keep the door open when I'm getting ready and he comes in frequently to talk to me and that helps. At first it was irritating but I know now that it gets me out of the bathroom faster. I also told my mom about this and how another woman had posted that it helps to say outloud when you're in the full trance pick-out mood to say OUTLOUD "im picking". and walk away. My mom suggested keeping a rubber band on my wrists and slapping my wrists when I do it because it could trigger the pain that I get from picking that i for some sick reason find relief. I might do it if it's necessary. Anyways, I hope you all are doing well. Healing is always there- right underneath the skin and waiting for us to stop our mindless habits in order to begin. We just have to patient enough to wait it out. xxo not-so-frustrated.
1 Answer
leaf79
May 14, 2011
I really enjoyed reading your post - Im in a really similar place: Just found this site and wrote a bit about my story yesterday, also read the forums and it ignited some hope that maybe I can change too. What Im trying to do is take a 'one day at a time' philosophy to my problem picking, I almost made it through the entire day one yesterday except for a small hiccup, but as soon as I squeezed a couple pimples my friend saw me and made me walk away from the mirror- which annoyed me at the time but now im grateful. I have a large scab on my arm atm and last night I started to unconsciously pick at it, but Id taken advice from this site and had cut my nails almost painfully short so I was unable to do much damage before I realised I was picking again and stopped. I said to myself "If I can just let this ONE heal; Ill know that there is hope for me". Admittedly I keep touching it, but it is still whole and healing and Im actually really surprised just how quickly it is healing! I see you posted on the 10th, so this would be day 4 for you; how are you going with it? I hope it you have had a stumble that you still retained your hope.- maybe we can all support each other to make the changes we need.

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