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Sandbox458850 , 16 May 2011

Really disappointed with myself

Today I was feeling really good. My face was to the point where I knew if I left it alone another day or two it would be looking pretty good. I was so excited and I was feeling really motivated. But then I broke down. I picked at everything. And I mean everything! Every little imperfection on my body. After about a half hour I finally managed to stop. I went to take a shower and it was so painful. But I know it was just the consequence of what I did. I'm so mad. I felt so close to looking pretty again...
1 Answer
May 16, 2011
Poor Sandbox, I'm so sorry! Don't beat yourself up! I know how you feel, I felt the same way hundreds of time. In fact all of my relapses usually happen about 3 days after a pickfest, when I'm starting to look/feel better and I know that it'll take just 2 days to look good again. That's when I feel safer and let my guard down. I look at the mirror and see the smaller dry scabs, and think "oh look, that seems ready to go!", and begin to rip off the scabs with tweezers. Then I realize the scabs weren't ready yet: they really needed a couple of days to heal, cause the skin underneath is still raw and bleeding. So I begin to feel anxious. I see other little imperfections and begin to pick at them and dig out deep whiteheads with tweezers. And 2 hours later my face hurts and looks like a bloody pizza, all wounded, red and swollen. That's why it's VERY difficult for me to resist more than 3 days without picking! But I managed 5 days a couple of weeks ago, and after relapsing I tried again. Today is my 7th day and I'm very happy! :) I really think the road to recovery is full of relapses, and to beat dermatillomania you have to change your lifestyle and mindset too. For your body: find a simple skincare that works for you (maybe set an app with a dermatologist), eat healthy, drink loads of water during the day, exercise when you can, and sleep as much as possible. For your mind: try to avoid stress, talk to somebody you trust (a relative, a friend or your partner, someone who could be supportive) and be careful to what triggers you. For instance, some days after a pickfest, be careful not to let your guard down! Avoid mirrors, hide your tools if you use any, and keep yourself busy going out or doing other things. If you struggle too much consider a therapist. Be strong, I'm sure you'll manage! You'll be pretty again in a week, just don't give up. :) Bug hugs! XX

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