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Amanda37 , 18 May 2011

I hate this, i cant stop and my sons face is proof

I am 37, i think i started picking at about 18 yrs. It got worse after my mom died when i was 23. I hate it, i get accused of doing drugs, i am so embarrassed of the scars i have everywhere...and i mean from my head, to my feet. If i feel a bump, it has to be picked, and then the scab has to go, and then the scar has to be never ends. Now my son who is 13 (mentally he is about 4 or 5)...well he has acne pretty bad..not a good thing for a picker. I find myself at night while he is sleeping, picking his pimples...squeezng the cysts he has on his face...i pick at his back, its awful, i feel so bad but i cant help it. I try to stop, and will tell myself that i dont want him to look like i do, and i will tell myself i am going to stop, then i find myself with my hands on his face or back or arms..without even realizing it. When i catch myself, then i start picking at my skin again...i am so sick of this, and i dont know what to do. I went as far as ordering some acid stuff on a website that was actually for a chemical peel on your face, thank God i didnt put it on my face, i put it on my arms to clear up the scars...but i couldnt help but pick the giant scabs it created and i made the scars even worse. I have tried the gloves, the nailpolish thing, anything i can think of, but nothing works. My mom had a disorder where she would pull her hair, strand by strand...she eventually went bald. I just need help and i dont know what to do.
1 Answer
May 18, 2011
Hi Amanda, I'm a picker and a yoga & meditation teacher, 39 years of age. I work full time, but I also teach about addiction recovery - and specifically about how to treat and change habits and patterns. This is my first time coming to this board, and yours is the first message I have read. I was very touched by your story. It sounds like you have a pretty severe case of picking (CSP), with trichotillomania also running in the family. It seems like your options have begun to run out, but you are here and looking for help... Would you be willing to try a holistic therapy to help you out? I have access to and teach a medical meditation that comes from India which is specifically and aid for habituation, OCD, addiction and related behaviors. I did it recently for 40 days, and was surprised that I completely stopped picking (after 25 years) for about 20 days... I have to keep doing it again though because minor picking comes back, but I'm working on it, and it's almost gone now. I'd like to know if you believe you can commit to doing something like this for yourself for 40 days straight - as a starting point - and only for 7 to 11 minutes per day. And then continue to do it 2-3 times per week, or as needed afterwards, until the picking stops. I am willing to share this medical meditation totally free, and I would like to share this meditation with the board here, but I want to do it in a way that is proper and respectful. I also want to meet and get to know people who are committed to healing, and want to try this meditation - people who can follow through for 40 days, and also respond and give me feedback. I would like this to become part of the research I am doing, and to help to spread this meditation technique to help many other people living with habitual OCD and addictive behaviors. Also, I would also recommend going on the dosage of natural Inositol, as recommended in this article: - concurrently with the meditation. I feel the two together will help attack this problem naturally from multiple angles. If you are interested, email me and stay in touch through this board. I will post up more information soon. Truly and Humbly Yours, Fateh

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