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Faceless , 31 May 2011

What do I do

This is going to probably be a bit disorganized so bear with me. I am a 15 year old girl and I pick at my scabs and pimples and eat them. I pluck my eyebrows, sometimes the hair from my head and hair from my legs and arms. I chew my fingernails until they bleed and eat the nails. I scratch through my head to find peices of dead skin and eat them. My life is fairly normal but at a young age I was diagnosed with Clinical Depression and have been through several different medications. They work at first but they end up just wearing off or I grow a tolerance or I don't know. I get even more depressed because I know that I have no reason whatsoever to be depressed in the first place and that makes me feel even worse about myself. I'm slightly suicidal and it ties a lot into the picking and stuff. I'm obsessed with it. I have acne on my chest, neck, ears, back and face and I am constantly picking and scratching at the scabs and pimples, even in school. I try to do it descreetly but I know that people have noticed and I know that on a few occassions people have spread rumors and/or talked about what I do. I definetely think everything I do is related to stress. I do everyhting usually when I I've had a fight with my parents (Which is often) Or right when I get home from school, kind of like a way to calm down. My parents know about my hair pulling and the picking but not about the eating of the pus and scabs. Whenever they notice that I haven't listened to them and stopped picking they yell at me and punish me for it. I also think I am trying to prove that I'm not beautiful, like people say I am. I'm chubby and have a weird nose and I hate it when people give me compliments. I pull my hair out of my legs to the point where they are constantly aching and they are covered in scabs/scars. Can anyone help?
2 Answers
May 31, 2011
I also strip the skin from my lips and eat it and just today have started chewing my cheek constantly.
June 01, 2011
I am not sure I am the right person to help you, but I can relate. I pick at scabs and pimples constantly. I am 28 years old (29 this month) and I have been picking since I was 13. Your picking etc is due to stress. I don't know what you enjoy in life, or what you are passionate about, but that is what you should try to focus your emotion on. It is much easier said than done, but please try. You are so young and if you can focus on stopping now, you won't have to suffer for 15 years like I have. I remember I went to a dermatologist a while back and he looked at me with pitty and said, "Wow, you suffered all through your 20s, what a shame." That comment hit me pretty hard. Don't be afraid to be beautiful. You should embrace it, even if it feels awkward at first. What do you really enjoy doing? Is it sports, art, music? I am really suffering right now with my picking and I am trying to focus my emotion on more positive things. I recently started my own blog where I talk about things that inspire me. I have a journal and I am checking out this site and updating my status daily. All of this has started within the last two weeks. I have been trying to stop for ever, but this is the most time and emotion I have ever put into my effort to stop. The other thing to remember is that you need to be forgiving of yourself. Addiction is a terrible thing and it takes a lot of hard work and dedication to overcome it. You will struggle (trust me, I have), but I think that we can all become stronger and learn to love ourselves and have faith that our bodies can heal naturally. The hardest part is finding a new, more positive way to channel your emotion. I will pray for your happiness and success to overcome this terrible addiction.

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