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Tired , 12 Jul 2011

Never new what was wrong with me.....

I truly never new there were more people wit the same problem as me..I'm 24 years old an haven't worn a pair of shorts, shirts or any of those cute lil things females at a young age get to enjoy sadly. I think I was 7 yrs old when I started picking on my skin. An the older I got the worst it got. Ive blacked out in front of mirrors for hours picking on my face, arms legs where ever i felt or seen the littlest thing wrong. Ive used sewing needle, pencil tips, razors, knifes wat ever was sharp enough to dig in with. It is embarrassing I try hiding it. I avoid going out in the day because of how scared up my face is, I wear alot of make up but it only can do so much ya no lol. I avoid relationships. I hate mirrors but for some reason I always seem to be in one, An thats when I truly see what Ive done to myself an it kills me inside more an more every day. My family dosen't understand they tell me "You don't have to do that, Its not that hard to stop, You would have such a pretty face if you jus stopped :(". I've been teased badly an the worst part it came from the ones closet to me. This problem has took so much away from me. Tonight I jus realized how long it has been. Some people give themselves a time period of a few months to loose weight an stuff I have to give myself about 3 yrs B4 the scars are some what faded I am brown skinned an for some reason all my scars like to turn black..It looks like I have had a server cause of chicken pocks all over my body or something lol. I avoid functions at my babys school because of how much I hate myself I avoid life..An know I've made myself cry lol..I came on here tonite because once again another sleepless night led to uncontrolled picking. I jus need away ta keep my hands busy for awhile. Hope I dont sound to crazy, but it feels good writing how I feel an not being the only one like this i guess.
1 Answer
July 19, 2011
Hi, I saw your post and wanted to reply because I am going through some of the things you mentioned in your post. I am at my face constantly especially when zits appear, i'll dig at them until they bleed and when I feel a scab starting to form I pick that off too. Mostly though I pick around my cuticles and listen to people tell me if I don't stop i'll get an infection, if only it was that easy. I wanted you to know that you're not alone in this battle, and i'm here to talk about it if it will help in any way.

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