No one is alone

no one is alone in the fight to quit. We all want to quit from what i have been told. Just cause you want to doesn't mean you actually will. I told myself for years that i wanted and was going to quit. I am 13 and still pick i am sure i want to i just don't know when and how i will. If i am alone in this i understand, but to know that im not just makes my day so much more happy and bright. if any of you need someone to talk to about this i am all ears! I know why i pick. I pick because every time i see a scab its just another thing bad about my apperince so i pick and pick till its off and bleeding i do clean up my blood and my wound. I am very afraid my skin picking will lead to more deadly measures as in staff and maybe even losing a body part. My loved ones are around they really don't understand how bad this is and how serious it can get. When i was little i thought my skin picking was a stage i would eventually grow out of. On my 7Th birthday i got called a freak because of my scars. i was out somewhere so there was no were to cry alone. As soon as i got home i locked myself in the bathroom and cried for hours my mom came in to check on me and saw where i had been picking at a very big scab on my lower leg i was bleeding alot and was actually sent to the hospital in Tulsa. The doctors told me if i didn't quit then it would grow into a way out for pain. They were right it is. Later on that day i wrote a letter to me that i was going to stop. i still live up to that and have lowered my picking down to only serten times. I know pick when im alone afraid or feeling like an outcast because of my scars i am very worried that if i keep this life of picking up i could die before i learn to drive. I don't were short selves or dresses anymore unless im at my house. my aunt is getting married and i have to wear a dress i am very cautious about that day and am nervous i will be getting whispered about and stared at. I am through not being who i really am none of my friends know about my skin picking i am going to come out of my shell and tell them all i don't think it will go badly and i am very glad to finally have the courage to open up!