Online Test

Find out the severity of your symptoms with this free online test

Take the test
ChuChuCee , 10 Aug 2011

Fail

Thought I was doing pretty well with not picking at my face, but last night had a pretty bad episode and then had a panic attack afterwards. Feel bad because I kept my mom up most of the night with my terrible anxiety. Just picked at my face again a few minutes ago and am feeling really annoyed and ashamed with myself. I'm so tired of my face and lips hurting all the time because I've picked and dug so much into it. I'm so tired of just dreading looking in the mirror. I start seeing a new therapist tomorrow so hopefully I will be able to figure out some coping techniques with her help. I also need to go back to my regular doctor. The pimple-like rash all along my jawline that has been around for the last six or more months is not going away, and after extensive research I'm afraid it may be malassezia folliculitis. I feel like if there were less enflamed whiteheads and pimples on my face I would be less likely to try and rid myself of them. I don't know. I'm really just at my wits end. My younger sister is moving out today to her own apartment with her friend and I am so jealous because I feel like I will never be comfortable enough around anyone to move out. I'm so depressed!!! Agh!
3 Answers
Add Comment
lisa2324
August 10, 2011
First off, take a deep breath. Everything is going to be alright. You will conquer this. I started tearing up as I read your post because I can relate to you so much. I know that feeling of hopelessness that follows an episode, and I know that it's even worse when you pick after you've been doing so well. Just last week I was in your position, feeling low and horrible about myself because of picking. But I decided to take initiative and declare that that would be the last time I ever felt down because of picking. I've realised that you have to be serious about kicking this disease in the ass. Going to a therapist is a fantastic start! Try to be as open with them as possible, they're there to help you. About the rash, could it be an allergic reaction to something (like soap, moisturizer, toothpaste, laundry detergent)? You could also try hydrocortisone cream, which helped with my little bumps. Whatever you do, don't give up. I promise that, with the right tools, one day you will be comfortable enough to move out and live your life free of picking. <3
lisa2324
August 10, 2011
First off, take a deep breath. Everything is going to be alright. You will conquer this. I started tearing up as I read your post because I can relate to you so much. I know that feeling of hopelessness that follows an episode, and I know that it's even worse when you pick after you've been doing so well. Just last week I was in your position, feeling low and horrible about myself because of picking. But I decided to take initiative and declare that that would be the last time I ever felt down because of picking. I've realised that you have to be serious about kicking this disease in the ass. Going to a therapist is a fantastic start! Try to be as open with them as possible, they're there to help you. About the rash, could it be an allergic reaction to something (like soap, moisturizer, toothpaste, laundry detergent)? You could also try hydrocortisone cream, which helped with my little bumps. Whatever you do, don't give up. I promise that, with the right tools, one day you will be comfortable enough to move out and live your life free of picking. <3
ChuChuCee
August 13, 2011
Thank you for your reply, I appreciate it so much. This site has been one of my saving graces for sure. I started therapy two days ago and it was the most amazing experience. Finally, this therapist knew exactly what I was dealing with and new exactly what to say. I feel like I have found someone who genuinely cares about making me feel like a normal human again. She said that I have OCD and BDD and it is hereditary, which makes sense as my dad has trichatillomania and his mom does too. She said that the seratonin levels of a person suffering with OCD go WAAAAY down, and it begins to affect every single part of you (which could explain my mysterious and persistent digestive problems, depression, headaches, dizziness, and skin rashes). She also says that when a persons body is so depleted of seratonin, you are often depleted of necessary vitamins. So, she had me see my regular doctor and start on Prozac and had the doctor do a blood test to check all my vitamin levels. The therapist also had me start taking high doses of D3 and Omega 3's, and 10 mg of melatonin at night to help me get on a regular sleep cycle which should help as well. This is the first time I have sincerely felt hopeful that things will get better. I have been to many therapists as well as a psychiatrist but they never seemed to understand fully what I was dealing with and attributed it all strictly to anxiety. They never really got to the root of it, so for this amazing woman to immediately know how to help me was incredible.

Start your journey with SkinPick

Take control of your life and find freedom from skin picking through professional therapy and evidence-based behavioral techniques.

Start Now