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finnickiting , 05 Feb 2012

New member, new change

Hello Forum I found this place simply by searching "Skin Picking" on Google in a moment of frustration, because I'm fed up of this issue I've had for almost 12 years now. I'm a 26, female, and at about 13 years old I started to get acne- though it was probably a normal, mild case of spots, if I'm honest- but I picked at my face non-stop and made any spot disproportionally worse. I've never stopped, even if the spots stop. I'm sure I make them come back. I search out any imperfection- What I perceive to be a "developing" spot, or a clogged pore, or the tiniest blackhead. I'll ravage them in a focussed attempt to "get the plugged core" out, which rarely happens and just results in damaged, bleeding skin. Which of course has to be covered up with make up, even though it's clearly obvious and I find myself embarrassed and avoiding eye contact and conversation with everybody. Reading more information about this problem, I also realise I used to compulsively pick at my nose when I was much younger. Probably from about 7 years old. It used to cause regular nosebleeds and I eventually had my nose cauterized when I was 11. That didn't continue as much as a compulsion afterward (thank god!), but it seems the face-picking took over soon after. The weird thing is I am perfectly aware of the damage I'm doing and I want to stop. I tell myself every day to stop. But I can't seem to. It's insane. I can't even work out exactly why I do it. It must be a form of OCD, because I also struggle to leave my cuticles alone if I have a hang nail and I chew my lips/sides of my mouth a LOT if I detect the slightist roughness or abnormality. Yet in other things I know I can show great self-discipline. I'm a keen runner, for example, and when I set my mind to train for a race I have no problem. But I can't stop myself touching my face, finding *something* to pick or squeeze at, and being inexorably drawn to the mirror to fixate. And time drags on for god-knows how long while I'm at it. It's like time stops and it's almost hypnotic. But afterwards it makes me so sad and annoyed with myself. Anyway, I'm sure if anyone reads this that a lot of this is very familiar. It is to me too, I've read other accounts enough now. I know the symptoms, just not the cure. I'm wondering if posting about it here might help me to find the self-discipline I can't seem to do alone. If I make some grand statement like "I WILL NOT PICK FOR AT LEAST ONE DAY- STARTING TOMORROW", I'm hoping to keep to it. One day at a time. I'm not silly enough to think I could do anything better after all these years straight away. So, whether this is read by other sufferers or not, I want to see if simply posting my little aim here helps me. I'll see tomorrow. I just needed to get this out somewhere. The best of luck to everyone also coping with this. xxx
1 Answer
February 06, 2012
Hi there! Yes, I could totally relate with many items that you mentioned. I too, can spend hours in front of the mirror trying to locate and destroy any tiny bump. One time, I reminded myself about the throughly wasted time and what I "could" have accomplished. But, unfortunately that does not stop me from still doing it! I want to offer encouragement and support to conquer this. Best of luck! :)

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