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Butterfly56 , 19 Feb 2012

My dermatillomia story

I just turned 15 in the last month or so. I pick everywhere. My breasts, my face, my arms, my legs, and if there is a stop anywhere else(butt, stomach, ect) i will pick that too. I used to be in gymnastics and we always had to wear those leotards which was basically like a one peice bathing suit. It was probaby a few months before i quit(when i was in about 4th grade) when i started picking. Even before that i would bite my nails and the skin around them. Over the past 6 months i have discovered that i have dermatillomania. Thank god for the internet. I told my mom i should go to a counselor because she thinks its no big deal that i destroy my body. Then i had her look it up and she made me an appointment. i went to the therapists 3 times so far and i have another appointment soon. I have stopped picking a lot!!!! I barrly pick at my arms and my legs now unless there is something that just has to come out. I pick at my face sometimes and i stopped on my boobs an chests for a few weeks but last night i picked. It wasnt that bad but i still feel disgusting. I have scars all over my body. I have no self confidense. Everyone in school always says im the prettiest girl in school and stuff but they wouldnt think that if they saw me naked with no makeup on. I am pretty but i destroy my body. I used to have beautiful skin. Now my face looks like it has big pores or minor acne scars from where i picked. Also theres hyperpigmentation everywhere. I cant wear shortsleaves or anything. People call me fake sometimes cuz i wear so much makeup. Even my dad does sometimes. Little do they no i have really bad scars. I recently told my dad about me having dermatillomania. I never had acne at all. I think the worst part is my chest and breasts. Not just because the damage is bad there but because thats what guys love. I have big boobs and it really sucks that i destroy them. Sometimes i have thoughts of suicide. This disorder is seriously and i dont think that people who dont have it understand the toll it takes on our bodies and emotional health. I would be so much prettier if i didnt ruin my body:(. If anyone wants to talk im here. I just wish we could all just stop. I wonder if i stop now will i ever have pretty skin?
2 Answers
February 22, 2012
Hi...I pick my finger nails/cuticles and am glad after reading some posts I don't pick other things. I can't help but pick my fingernails....Anyway, I read your post and it just compelled me to login. While I can try and understand your issues I know they are real, but I just hope you realize that there are people out there that can help. Suicide is not the answer...I am sure you are beautiful and you need to know that NO ONE is perfect....Unfortunately at your age people can be mean and hurtful for no reason at all. You just need to realize that this part of life is very short and that you'll get through it and you'll make someone very happy.
February 27, 2012

In reply to by chip05

Hello thank you do much for commenting!!! I am trying so hard to stop and counseling is making me realize that no one is perfect. I totally understand with the picking at your nails and cuticles. It's just makes us want to wear gloves all the time. I always want to wear sweatshirts and long pants. It's so frustrating. I dont think people realize how terrible picking is. It blows our self esteem no matter where we have it on our bodies. Maybe sometime they will come up with a fast cure to help us and all the other skin picking sufferers

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