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Scalp Picking
I need to quit picking my scalp
I hope that writing this will be therapeutic as it will be the first time I admit this to anyone. I remember the moment I started picking at my scalp. I was 10 years old in 5th grade and I'm now 30. I have always wanted to quit but haven't been able to go more than a few days. I am a successful female with my own house. I have a great boyfriend. I'm very healthy, into eating right and exercising. And I have lots of thick hair. No bald spots yet and want to quit before I do more damage.
I remember exactly how I started. There was lice going around in school in 5th grade. A friend pointed out that I had white stuff on my hair and said I had lice. I didn't really have lice and I claimed it was dandruff so that I wouldn't be made fun of. If I scratched my head it would become flakey. Sometime soon after that I scratched my head and felt a flake or something in my hair. I pulled it out and liked the way it felt and started feeling around to see if there were more. There were no more so I started scratching to make flakes that I could pull out and thought if I scratched it all off it would go away. The scratching turned into picking and created scabs for me to pull off again and again. Now it's 20 years later. One time I thought to myself, "there must be at least one other person in the world who does this". It turns out there is a lot.
No one knows what I do. My mom always saw me playing with my scalp and told me to stop but I don't think she knows what I really do or how bad it is. I try not to do it in front of people but if I get the urge I have a spot on the side if my head so it looks like I am pushing my hair behind my ear. Or I have a spot near the base of my head near my neck so it looks like I'm just rubbing my neck. Maybe I'm not as discrete as I think I am. I pick mostly when I'm alone which is a lot because I work from home. I have about 6 sores currently going. I think I pick when I am stressed. I love my career but it's demanding. I have deadlines to adhere to which stresses me out and I'll catch myself picking instead of working. I drive a lot for work. I start picking as soon as I get in the car because it's a time that I am alone and a time that I think a lot. And sometimes I just do it because I like how it feels. I like how the scab feels on my scalp, how it feels to pull it off under my nails, how it feels between my fingers when I pull it out of my hair. If it's a really big one I like to break into smaller pieces. It sounds so gross.
The spots I pick have been there for serval years. I used to pick deeper and bloodier scabs in high school. Most are more like calluses now so I usually don't make myself bleed but sometimes it happens. There is one spot where there is little baby hairs that feel like stubble. They never get the chance to grow out and I'm afraid it will become a bald spot soon. My hair dresser noticed it once and asked if I pull my hair out. I said, "no" because that's not what I do. I made the excuse that my hair brush got stuck and it broke some hair off. I never went back to her out of embarrassment. I want to quit before my boyfriend and I move into together or get married because I fear he will catch onto my bad habit and be disgusted. I'm afraid to get bald spots. I'm afraid to get an infection and have to go to the hospital and tell them why. I'm afraid it will cause some other type of problem. Sometimes the back of my head will get sore and swell up a little.
Reading the posts on here get me motivated to quit but I always relapse. I really want this to be the time I quit for good.
In reply to Like all of you I never knew by Idiotest
I'm am the same, very similar circumstances, I too thought I just was crazy, I'm currently at cbt, haven't mentioned the picking yet. I am enjoying understanding why I have a self destruct streak. I've been doing things all my life that I couldn't understand. So I recommend cbt, and your posting made me feel that the picking thing is worth mentioning to the psych so thank you xxxx
I feel the same way as you. Embarassed, wanting to hide my wrist biting and scalp picking. My stress management class opened me up to belly breathing, or deep breathing. Whenever I get that biting or picking urge I try to focus on my breathing instead. It is very difficult to refrain, and sometimes I succumb, but any less biting or picking is a small step in the right direction. I recommend trying this, it may help. Look up breathing exercises on youtube. Best of luck and always remember your habits do not define who you are.
I know this post is old but i couldnt help letting you know that I TOO STARTED IN 5TH GRADE WHEN A CLASSMATE CAME DOWN WITH LICE! I can remember it like yesterday (im now 26!) once i heard that someone had lice i immediately started picking! I would pick ooff dandruff or anything i felt and look at it to make sure it wasnt lice! I have now done this for over 15 years. I do have a few permanent bald spots about the size of a pea that ive had for years now. I pick more some times than others and not sure why... Wish i knew the answer or how to stop (although i dont know why AND I HHATE the fact that i kinda like it?) its terrible:( i also pick and pull at the tiny hairs TRYING to regrow. I wish you luck and hope to one day get to the bottom of this problem. As we speak my head burns from my constant picking for the last few days. My hair is so oily and its ways a temptation, one that i love and hate so much at the same time. please if you have any helpful information email me at candacegray1113@gmail.com good luck and thanks for listening
I do this too. I currently have a huge scab that keeps getting bigger on my scalp and I can't stop picking at it. I love the feel of scraping the skin off and seeing blood. so weird. Btw Im female, 46.
Ew, me too as of late, but have been picking elsewhere since, ha, 5th grade. I feel so gross and terrible that I do this, but cannot stop. If I don't always think "don't do it" , I will do it-like auto pilot. I also like the taste, which actually sickens myself, but I don't know why I like it. Just terrible. Never abused, great childhood.
I thought I was the only one with this issue but reading the other comments with SUCH SIMILAR backstories has really blown my mind. I am a 29 year old woman and I know that this started when I was in 3rd or 4th grade when I got lice from a little girl I went to school with whose house I would play at. When my Mom figured out that I had lice she immediately treated me but after that I started noticing the ocd coming on really bad! Ocd and depression runs in my family but I never made the connection until recently. Growing up my Mom would always say "Why are you picking, do you have bugs!?" and I think that she thought it was funny but it really just made me more self conscious. After having (and getting rid of) lice, I would constantly make my Mom check my scalp because I was so fearful. As I grew up I noticed any time that I was stressed, or bored I run my fingers over my scalp and feel for any bumps or anything, then I take my fingernails and I get great satisfaction from pulling it out and then rolling it inbetween my fingers. I do this with dandruff CONSTANTLY and sometimes it does result in scabbing that I will pick as well but I don't really get satisfaction from the scabs and if I am bleeding I will lay off that certain area until it heals. I don't really go for the scabs like everyone else seems to but I do have very long hair so it seems that dandruff does get caught more easily. I also pick at my ears...I (and my husband) thought that they were just very crusty I had no idea why but it seems as though if I don't pick at them for a day or two (or even sometimes just overnight) that they literally have a layer of white/yellow crust type skin that I scrape off and roll inbetween my fingers. I have never told a doctor because I chalked it up to me just being especially gross for whatever reason but now I suppose it is a problem that is indicative of a larger emotional issue. I don't do it if I am occupied but any time I am not I simply can't help myself. I recently stopped working and I am a stay at home mom with my wonderful 2 year old daughter. My husband works as a driver for UPS and due to long work days and him being off his sleep schedule it is normal that I wont see him for more than a hour at a time during the weekdays. Being alone so much has made it much worse and I keep telling myself I should go to a doctor to try to get a handle on my stress and ocd but I feel that the doctors that I have been to just don't understand, I feel very ignored and misunderstood. Every time I go to a doctor I feel like (it may be in my head but I don't think so) they think I am making it up but if they even took a minute to look at my head or ears they would know that I am not. Coming here has made me feel a little less alone and isolated so hopefully I will find a doctor that actually cares sometime soon.
Most of these stories are just so very similar to mine. I can't, however, remember when I started picking my scalp. There was no big event, like lice. I've picked my skin in other areas since I was a child ( I'm 29 now ) and I guess I just moved on to picking my scalp. I find it so odd that most of us get so much satisfaction from the feeling of scabs underneath our nails, seeing the blood, tasting the scabs and blood. It just seems so strange to me that we all enjoy this. I mean I do too. But it just doesn't make a lot of sense as to the reason. I guess I've just never realized other people do this too and it's just baffling me as to why we do... I don't have a cure or an answer. I just needed to vent.
I'm 15 years old and I've been doing the skin picking for like 2 years now. I was trying to search up solutions when I found this. Which makes me happy because I'm not the only one. I like to pick my skin everywhere. For a while it was on my philtrum and in between my eyes, and then it was my neck. Right now i always pick my scalp. I always pick it when I'm in class mindlessly and then there will be a bunch of little pieces of scalp. I pick it a lot when I'm stressed or angry, and then it burns a lot when I take a shower. It also flakes a lot when I blow dry my hair, even though I just washed it. I was wondering if anyone had any advice on stopping or preventing or treating so that I can stop this from becoming a bad habit. I have tried to exercise self control but then I forget and begin to mindlessly pick again. I'm glad that so many people have the same habit as me and I'd like to ask for help! Thank you
In reply to I'm 15 years old and I've by LilyOh
Hi LilyOh and everyone else. I posted on this topic a few months ago and my scalp picking has only gotten worse. I now have a skin infection and need to go to the doctor tomorrow. This will be the first time I've told a doctor about my condition. I'm both scared and excited. I'm scared because I'm embarrassed and excited because maybe he will be able to help me. I know just "willing" to stop doesn't work. I don't know what DOES work, but for me just saying "stop" won't do the trick. My scalp burns as I lay here. I'm dreading having to brush it before work tomorrow as its sore and like I said infected. I'm going to stop hiding though. Tomorrow I'll tell my dermatologist and then next my psychiatrist. There has to be a solution.
I'm 14 and have the same problem. Started this year, and I pick at my scalp often until it bleeds. It's so frustrating and right now as I'm typing I am scratching. Every time I shampoo my scalp stings and burns, I hate it. Friends have pointed out that I have scabs on my scalp and I constantly make up excuses it's so embarrassing. Whenever I scratch my head, I get dandruff underneath my nails (sorry I know its gross), I don't know why but it's weirdly satisfying to pick it out of my nails. I paint my nails because I've noticed my finger nails get really gross looking. I'm not sure when exactly or how it started, but I do remember having lice once and scratching my head and (disgusting part coming up) found a lice underneath my nail,.... twice! It was gross but satisfying that it was out of my hair. This feels so great to tell someone who has experienced some form of this unexplainable behavior. I want this to stop, I want beautiful, undamaged hair for my formal and wedding but I fear that won't happen because of my constant need to scratch, itch and pick. HELP!
I am a 34yo mother of 2. I have been picking my scabs for as long as i can remember. I remember as a child friends asking me why i pick my scabs. My father telling me he knew of someone who died from picking their scabs, though i don't know how much truth is in that, but it has always stuck. I told my mother and a friend today that i have been picking my scalp. I asked them to tell me if they notice me doing it. I told my mother i enjoy the feeling of the scab. After reading these posts i am glad i am not the only one. I am not alone. I started picking scabs on my legs and back/shoulder area. It only just progressed to scalp this year after i had issues with a shampoo, which caused irritation. I feel like it isn't as noticeable. The rest is history, all i know is that i need help .
Hi. I'm a 13 year old girl and I have been picking at my scalp for about a year now. My habit started because I liked the feeling of making a certain spot of my hair red and irritated and it never lasted for more than three days until once again I started picking a the top of my scalp just because I liked the feeling. It was just like all the other spots in my head that had gone away after a couple of days. Except I started doing it to the same spot a day later the irritation went away but this time I began to pull my hair more and more everyday in just one spot which pretty small because I really liked how it felt. I did it when I got sad or bored. I never tell anyone about because I find my bad habitat very embarrassing and specially at my age. The more hair I pulled out the better I felt, until I realized but I had done to a section of my hair. I wanted to stop but I couldn't. After that spot was clear with absolute no hair I want to go further but I got in control on that so all I did was pick at it. Then after a couple of weeks I stopped. I was proud and my hair was growing back even through it sticks out but I put hair spray so you can't tell. But a few days ago I started again): that section of my hair is really red and I pulled some of my growing hair out while I picked at it. It feels like an addiction to me. I need help on how to stop but I don't want to tell my parents so that means I can't go to a professional for help.I don't want it to effect me anymore in my upcoming teen years.
In reply to Hi. I'm a 13 year old girl by Itsme
Welcome and I am proud of you that you came here looking for a solution to this problem. Please don't feel embarrassed or ashamed. Talk to your Mom or Dad and just let them know how you are feeling. I have found that once you talk about it, it takes the scary out of it. You will feel much better, I promise you.
All sounds familiar. I do it now for 5 years. I want to stop it and i Will. I find it horrible. I have 5sores, always the same, lost bit of hairs around them, i am worried. Using now castor oil to restore my scalp, and it is werking. Very motivated now with it. Hope this helps,j