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Scalp Picking

SSP30 , 15 Mar 2012

I need to quit picking my scalp

I hope that writing this will be therapeutic as it will be the first time I admit this to anyone. I remember the moment I started picking at my scalp. I was 10 years old in 5th grade and I'm now 30. I have always wanted to quit but haven't been able to go more than a few days. I am a successful female with my own house. I have a great boyfriend. I'm very healthy, into eating right and exercising. And I have lots of thick hair. No bald spots yet and want to quit before I do more damage. I remember exactly how I started. There was lice going around in school in 5th grade. A friend pointed out that I had white stuff on my hair and said I had lice. I didn't really have lice and I claimed it was dandruff so that I wouldn't be made fun of. If I scratched my head it would become flakey. Sometime soon after that I scratched my head and felt a flake or something in my hair. I pulled it out and liked the way it felt and started feeling around to see if there were more. There were no more so I started scratching to make flakes that I could pull out and thought if I scratched it all off it would go away. The scratching turned into picking and created scabs for me to pull off again and again. Now it's 20 years later. One time I thought to myself, "there must be at least one other person in the world who does this". It turns out there is a lot. No one knows what I do. My mom always saw me playing with my scalp and told me to stop but I don't think she knows what I really do or how bad it is. I try not to do it in front of people but if I get the urge I have a spot on the side if my head so it looks like I am pushing my hair behind my ear. Or I have a spot near the base of my head near my neck so it looks like I'm just rubbing my neck. Maybe I'm not as discrete as I think I am. I pick mostly when I'm alone which is a lot because I work from home. I have about 6 sores currently going. I think I pick when I am stressed. I love my career but it's demanding. I have deadlines to adhere to which stresses me out and I'll catch myself picking instead of working. I drive a lot for work. I start picking as soon as I get in the car because it's a time that I am alone and a time that I think a lot. And sometimes I just do it because I like how it feels. I like how the scab feels on my scalp, how it feels to pull it off under my nails, how it feels between my fingers when I pull it out of my hair. If it's a really big one I like to break into smaller pieces. It sounds so gross. The spots I pick have been there for serval years. I used to pick deeper and bloodier scabs in high school. Most are more like calluses now so I usually don't make myself bleed but sometimes it happens. There is one spot where there is little baby hairs that feel like stubble. They never get the chance to grow out and I'm afraid it will become a bald spot soon. My hair dresser noticed it once and asked if I pull my hair out. I said, "no" because that's not what I do. I made the excuse that my hair brush got stuck and it broke some hair off. I never went back to her out of embarrassment. I want to quit before my boyfriend and I move into together or get married because I fear he will catch onto my bad habit and be disgusted. I'm afraid to get bald spots. I'm afraid to get an infection and have to go to the hospital and tell them why. I'm afraid it will cause some other type of problem. Sometimes the back of my head will get sore and swell up a little. Reading the posts on here get me motivated to quit but I always relapse. I really want this to be the time I quit for good.
74 Answers
Jade0915
August 27, 2018

Glad to read that I'm not alone in this- I always thought I was just dirty or twisted for picking and liking it. Mine started with a skin condition that caused intense itching, which led to scabs that I persistently pick off cos I sort of like it. I also like scratching hard until my skin flakes off as this makes me feel cleaner. I think stress is a trigger as I have had weeks where I allow the scabs to heal... only to start again. I'm trying SkinPick to stop as I'm starting to leave bloodstains on the pillow, and my husband is worried it's a form of self-harm. Please update if you are successful!

Zoeykitty221
October 18, 2018

I am glad I found this forum.. I have been picking my scalp since I was about 6 years old, I am now 31... ever since I can remember I was always fascinated with picking my scabs but I would usually pick them once and then leave them be.. UNTIL I was riding my bike when I was around 6 yo and a horsefly landed on the top of my head and stung me really good causing a bad scab, I was hooked on picking the scab off from then on, and here I am 25 years later STILL picking the same scab on the top of my head.. when I was around 10 years old my mother took me to get a perm and that’s when the hairdresser noticed this god awful scab/creator on the top of my scalp and pointed it out to my mother.. UGH! how embarrassing for one, and two she was always yelling at me if she saw me picking my head, after countless times of her yelling/scolding me she began doing routine checks to my head to make sure I was leaving it alone which I neverrr did.. after maybe 8ish months of the constant nagging and head checks I think she finally realized that for whatever reason I wasn’t going to stop no matter how many times she yelled at me or checked my head and she left me alone about it for the most part.. she was the only one that knew about it until I told my husband last year.. I don’t know what it is about picking that spot on my head but it’s just so relaxing I don’t have any other sores on my head, just that one.. it usually stays about the same as far as shape and size, but recently (idk if I’m digging it more) it’s gotten bigger.. about a month ago I went insane on picking/digging it.. it grew bigger than a half dollar lost a bunch of hair all around it, became super infected was a greenish yellowish color and super spongie and sticky.. idk why but that almost seem to fascinate me more as gross as that sounds I liked the smell of it, the feeling of picking the gooieness off.. but I hated that my hair feel out, all I could do was wear my hair up so no one could see it.. but for some reason within the last few months I’ve developed an infactuation with taking pictures/videos of my scab and or me picking it off... a part of me wishes I could stop picking it, but I feel like a bigger part of me doesn’t want to stop, I just don’t want anyone to know about my disorder or see the scab! Sometimes I will get super mad/anxious if I can’t get my nail under a part of the scab that’s risen up more than the rest to pick it off I will keep at it for hours until I finally get it.. I have never eaten my scab but I enjoy when I can slowly rip off one big section at a time and I enjoy looking at the big section of scab I just ripped off.. I feel like I probably will never over come this seems how it’s been ongoing for 25 years...

blackwolf
October 18, 2018

Having had my partner scream at me and saying that there is a raw mark on my head that is the size of a British five-pence piece (just larger than a dime), I finally felt that I needed to look this up. I knew that I would not be the only person in the world with this problem, but it was pretty eye-opening to see the stories on here. So much that I had to share my own story, if just to help me get my head around it (yep, I see what I did there!) and possible try and help others here too.

I reckon this all started back when I was at school when I was around thirteen, when I suffered slightly from dandruff. I would constantly flick my hand through my hair and create a minor snowstorm on the desk, gathering it all into a neat pile before blowing it all away at the end of the lesson. At the beginning this was little more than a "dusting" exercise, but in some curious desire to produce more "snow" I would start scratching at my scalp. Lo and behold, the flakes were even larger, and the pile of snow at the end of each lesson was even more impressive.

My classmates had started to notice at that point, so I started to collect the piles on pieces of paper so that they would be less conspicuous.

As I started to scratch in search of more impressive flakes, it was clear that I had started to take some of the skin away from my scalp. This created (as I later discovered) small lesions that created very fine scabs. Very quickly, the dandruff problem stopped, and I graduated to picking at the drying skin instead.

This has lasted for close to 35 years now.

Part of the reason why I do not have loads of craters on my (now naturally bald) head is that it has never really been tied with stress or nervousness. If there is something there to pick, or better still peel, it can happen at any time no matter what state of mind or mood I am in. The fascination is in the peeling action, and the larger the scab is, the better. Just looking at the piece of semi-transparent skin, complete with the holes created by hair follicles, is intensely fascinating.

Yes, it is horrible. Just re-reading what I have typed here makes me sound borderline insane.

I cannot, like some people here, take this back to an unhappy childhood or overbearing parents. My situation was the complete opposite. Likewise, today I am in a stable long-term relationship and can count the number of arguments we have had on the single finger of one hand. I am a perfectionist in my everyday life, and this can possibly be related to my scab-peeling mania. However this does not have any bearing on my fascination with the peelings themselves.

Given that others here have the same or worse picking/peeling compulsion, I am sure that nobody will be going "eww" at my own story. But the next bit does have me questioning my sanity at times. So here goes.

Around 20 years ago, maybe more, I peeled a particularly large skin portion/scab. Fascinated by the size of it, I placed it in a small fold of paper. I did the same again not long after, and added it to the other. You can see where this is going. Not long after this "peeling/picking" project began, the little paper envelope held around thirty scabs. I then transferred them to a small plastic container, something that could hold a pack of miniature playing cards. I kept going, and some years later the container was close to being full with hundreds of skin peelings.

Naturally, there was no way I could get rid of it. I still have that container to this day.

As I started to lose my hair naturally, the scab problem started to go away - so long as I kept my hair short. For years, nothing would happen. Then, my hair would grow a little longer, there would be a chance for a scab to develop, and it would produce around a dozen or so peelings before I cut my hair and it cleared up again. Naturally, I would add the scabs to the container. In one particular weird moment, I was angry at my partner for throwing some old scraps of paper that were on my desk... I did not mention it as it would have been incredibly bizarre, but among the useless scraps was a mini-envelope of skin peelings, that was all set to be added to the "collection".

The most recent instance has been this month, where I have managed to take some outstanding peelings. But then my partner shaved my hair for me, and jabbed at the large pink patch on my head which made me look like the planet Jupiter. When she took a photo of it with my phone, I was pretty shocked as it was the first time I had actually seen what it looked like.

As much as it continues to fascinate me, I am attempting to make this my last scab harvesting. I am applying cream to the area to prevent the skin from drying, and will shave my head more often as the exposure to the air definitely aids the healing process.

As for the scabs that are in the container, there is something that is telling me not to thrown them away. I am looking at some cathartic method of dealing with it, and an considering creating an artwork (or several artworks) that will have a sprinkling of scabs as a feature. Yes, this is incredibly bizarre, strange, odd, whatever. But for some equally strange reason I am finding it really easy to type this out here, knowing who will read it.

blackwolf
October 18, 2018

Juts to add to the above, as the fascination is more about peeling rather than picking, I have generally avoided drawing blood. Whenever that happens, I just stop. In the curious rules and logic of my own flavour of this compulsion, a bloodied scab is not worth adding to the collection, and so it is a lot easier to leave things alone. I suppose this is why the problem has not degenerated like it has for some others on here.

MGH44
October 19, 2018

blackwolf- I rarely go on this site any more unless I get a post to my email that catches my attention. I wish I could say I’ve beat skin picking but I haven’t. However I have beat skin picking of my scalp (I still pick lips and fingers). I relate to your story in that I too feel very satisfied when getting the perfect “pick”. I look at it as an accomplishment I’m proud of but only for a brief moment as we’re both on this site because it’s disruptive to our lives. I beat my scalp picking when ai visited dermatologist for a skin infection (self produced from picking). He diagnosed me with foliculitis. It produces scaly patches that are oh so pickable. Applying the ointment he prescribed helped assist me in quitting the picking. It was still challenging but not as impossible as before. I wasn’t doing it alone this time. The medication was cutting down on the dry skin and so less and less to pick at. My advice is to see a dermatologist ASAP. If they can’t help you or shrug you off then see another and another until you find someone that can give you something to decrease the dry skin. No dry skin (for us anyway)=nothing to pick at (since me and you don’t pick live skin). Good luck!!! You’re not alone.

Alimac5252
June 28, 2019

I know this is an old post, but I recently googled a specific question “why do I get satisfaction from finding a scab on my head and pulling it through my hair”. I’m sorry that you have the same problem as I do, but I will admit that I was happy to see I’m not alone.
I don’t have dandruff or any skin conditions. I literally pick my scalp and create scabs just so I have something to pick. I sit up all night picking and re-picking. (Currently out of work, so I have too much time spent picking). I have open sores all over my head. I literally get excited if I put my hands through my hair and feel a scab I can pick.
I’m starting to get very concerned. I am now doing it unconsciously. I’ll find myself putting my hands through my hair and start to pick, while in public, or while with other people, and catch myself.
Has anyone tried anything that has helped them stop?

Ariesbby9515
April 01, 2020

Well I can’t brlieve I’m typing this right now but I have severe ocd picking scabs off my scalp never anywhere else. For some reason I just love the feeling of pulling scabs out of my hair. And I am also an addict im a IV User meth and herion and omg let me just tell you if you
Too find yourself oddly loving picking scabs out of your hair, being high on meth I could do it for hours and not even care if anybody notices. And when I’m high and pick I swear my scabs they grow back thicker and just 1000000x more satisfying. Like I’ll scratch one spot once and instead of just one scab like 10 will pop up and that only happens when I’m high but it’s just so satisfying feeling all them scabs stuck one after one on one strand of hair. God I feeel disgusting saying it. But I was cerious if anybody else like llthis ever used meth and noticed that it affected their scabs ? I gues it’s because the meth litterally secretys out. When I’m not high I barely care about picking.

Lucy23
May 21, 2020

I just read you’re post and it’s literally like I was writing it. I can’t even remember the last time I went a day without picking my head I currently have about 3 bald spots and 6 new sores on the go. I’m so frustrated and ashamed at myself that I let it get this bad! I thought I was a freak and I was alone with this problem how did you fix it? I really need to know, please don’t tell me to ask for medical help I’m to ashamed!

RFsl
May 28, 2020

I have the exact same thing! I’m 20 and I haven’t made myself bleed yet, but I can’t resist the need to find flakes and scratch if I don’t feel flakes to make them appear and be able to find them and take them out of my hair, I notice I do it when I’m stressed or sleepy and can’t go to sleep for whatever reason, I also do it with my lower lip, which I also pick but I do make myself bleed there. But it doesn’t hurt because I’ve done it for so long. Only hurts when I pick way too deep sometimes. I’ve tried to stop but idk why it’s so hard to do so. When I pick my lips is either when I’m stressed or relaxed or in tension like when I’m watching those types of movies that for example the protagonist might die or something might happen if they don’t do something quickly enough, I pick my lower lip. The worst part is that with the lips I don’t notice that I’m picking. When I’m procrastinating I pick my scalp a lot and it escalates to more intense picking the closer something’s due date gets and I’m a really anxious person and I procrastinate because of my stress and anxiety, and as a result it turns into a vicious cycle.

Lww983
August 16, 2020

Please can anyone say if hair will grow back. Picked such a deep patch in my scalp..have I totally picked out follicles for good.

Nicdenlee26
August 24, 2020

I have been picking my scalp for a couple years now, I’m 26 and have three beautiful daughters, I do struggle with PTSD from childhood abuse and bipolar depression but not sure if any of my mental conditions caused my picking but I have noticed during stressful events I start picking without even realizing. I’ve become progressively more depressed the last few months from my picking because I pick until I bleed and then pick the scabs almost immediately after they form. I never felt so alone until I came across this post, I had to create an account just to comment on it. My family and boyfriend know I have a picking habit and are constantly telling me to stop the minute they see my hand in my hair (which is slightly aggravating) ok very aggravating even though I know they are coming from a good place I just feel they won’t understand how I feel when I pick because they don’t pick. It’s almost euphoric when I sit down in front of a mirror and start my picking. I went from just picking with my fingers to now I use a small little comb thing people use for their eyelashes/brows. It’s to the point now that at the crown especially of my head if I part my hair a certain way there’s a long line Of scabby blood from the middle of my scalp(right before the crown) to the middle of the back of my head, it literally looks like someone grabbed a knife and sliced my whole scalp. It is incredibly painful by the end of the day after picking. If I pick small amounts clear liquid will come out sometimes. In the last few months I noticed i started to get white wirey almost translucent patches of hair , when I pull a couple out to get a closer look it didn’t even feel like hair. I’ve tried googling the crap out of the white patches situation with no forum that described my problem. I’m not sure if my picking ruined some of my follicles or whatnot, but the last couple months my lymph nodes have been swelling immensely behind my ears, if I pick certain spots on my scalp or if I pick for a while I get this weird tingly sensation across the top of my scalp to where my lymph nodes are swollen. Tonight is the first time I got sudden Lymph node swelling on my scalp And my neck which made me incredibly nervous. This is the first time I’ve truly been able to open up fully about my situation so I apologize if my comment sounds Jumbled, after reading everyone’s comments I’ve decided to contact a dermatologist first thing tomorrow and try to find a resolution for this. I’m so glad I’m not the only person who gets this dopamine like euphoria when I start to pick. Oh and one more thing, the last couple weeks i noticed A couple days out of the week from picking that my scalp has increased in the white flakes/dead skin so bad that just running my fingers through my hair feels like my whole scalp is crystallized and rocky (idk how to better explain) of course as I’m sure everyone here can agree that’s a pickers dream , but by the end of the day my scalp is so bloody and sore all I feel is pulsating zingy feelings across my scalp especially if I get goosebumps or yawn. Anyone else feel that weird sensation?

Steph1966
October 10, 2020

My picking started 6 years ago after getting my hair colored. I had a reaction to the dye and every since I pick at every sore and every piece of dry skin. In July of this year I made the mistake of going to get my hair done, I didn’t have any reaction at the time but one week later a spot showed up on my scalp and my world has been turned upside down. It started with that spot, that spot turned into another and well you get the point, for the last 8 weeks day and night I run my hands through my head picking and removing anything that feels it shouldn’t be there. I went to my doctor he wasn’t concerned at the time, gave some medication and instructed me to leave my head alone, needless to say I couldn’t so I didn’t. Now my scalp is pink with areas of short hairs around it which has now enlarged to several areas on top of my head, touching my scalp results in inflammation and liquid from the areas, excessive flaking, sore places and a white dusty dandruff that sticks to the hair. I think about nothing else, I wake up thinking about it and go to be the same. I have purchased EVERY over the counter product which made things worse. Researching every website trying to figure out what I had and how to fix it. I’ve lost weight, fatigued, depressed and secluded because of one sore. I scheduled to see a dermatologist the end of the month but the scalp was in bad shape and I just couldn’t do it one more day, so telemedicine was the soonest option and boy I’m glad I did. Turns out all the research I was doing wasn’t gonna help. Although symptoms are similar most is the extreme and rare. You dont cause psoriasis or Seborrhoeic dermatitis But some symptoms are the result. Bacterial Folliculitis, my scalp simply is infected, the waxy areas missing hair is my picking at it, it will return, the liquid I felt and thought was sebum was infection and the gritty pieces I felt with flaking and scabs. I was not only picking scabs it appears the other tiny pieces were the scalp sebum coating that was damaged, nothing remotely close to what I thought I was doing based on what I was reading. I was prescribed scalp antibiotic solution, oral antibiotic and steroid with firm instructions to stopping picking at my scalp, then and only then my scalp will restore itself. I’m no expert but I can tell you first hand things can and eventually will get worse if people like me don’t find a way to stop picking, it affects everything about you, mentally, physically and financially. Who knew one day at the salon could change me the way it did. I am doing everything I can to leave my scalp alone, so I don’t what advice to give on how to accomplish that, I just know it’s not an option cause this is miserable and the last option is to shave my head and believe me I have thought about it. So that’s my two sense, I hope it helps

beccadom
August 19, 2022

Hey mama I hope it has been getting better for you since you posted this comment. I also pick my scalp, I have since I was 8, I stopped shortly after but started again in my early 20s. I’m now 29 and still picking. I have one large one in the front of my hair line that I’m barely able to get away with anyone noticing the bald spot. I have to do my hair a certain way to cover it. I don’t go in the pool because I’m afraid when my hair is slicked back that everyone will see it. It certainly is comforting, I can relate 100% to how you described how it feels to pick and the shame that comes with it. I used to have multiple scabs but now I’m down to one. I have 3 days with not picking, it feels good to know I got over the urge to pick. I have been putting ointment on the scab for it to heal more quickly. Even though it makes my hair greasy, I try and remember it is temporary and I will eventually have all scabs healed and nothing to pick. Try cognitive or DBT therapy skills. A lot of our picking is based in anxiety, which can attack us from all different angles whether it is work related stress, social stress, feeling embarrassed, feeling hopeless, etc. I am praying for you and hope you find relief from it soon. It is a terrible habit that keeps us anxious and full of fear. We can do this! 

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