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seekingserenity7 , 19 May 2012

New member with picking problem and more

Hi, new member here. I'm both relieved to know others suffer from the same issue as well as anxious and vulnerable that, for the first time, I am admitting that my issue is serious and putting a name to the problem. I've been picking all my life it seems. Especially when I was a teenager I would mess with my face, pick at it and try to perfect it from the "problems" I would see. My skin was nice but I made it worse than it really was. Now, in my late 20's I continue to pick at my face and I have noticed the consequeses of doing so; the scarring and discoloration. I pick at my scalp and pretty much all other parts of my body. Although looking at me you might not be able to see the problem since I've always been pretty discreet with it, I can tell that my issue is getting worse. I have always had anxiety and depression issues as well as bulimia. I'm not happy to admit those problems that I suffer from but hopefully if there is someone else that is also suffering from these same issues they will find comfort that they're not alone. I believe my picking, along with my other issues, began as a child due to my horrible upbringing. My father (who was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder/bipolar disorder never took medication or got therapy) was constantly yelling, fighting, verbally abusing me, and at times physically tormenting me such as standing 3 feet away from me and throwing soap at my face while I was crying on the floor. He would call me every name in the book one second and then blame me for being a horrible, unloving child to him. His mother, my grandmother, is the same as he is. My mom was a victim to his abuse as well, but I can't help but to feel some anger towards her for not protecting me from his verbal bashings, tormenting and bullying ways. To this day he still harrasses me with phone calls and threats and the sad part is I have my children that I am trying to protect from this monster. I'm very thankful for this site and for being able to voice my experience with you all. Each day is a struggle but I will continue to fight this and have a healthy, happy life! I am currently on Zoloft and have noticed a great difference in NOT wanting to pick! This is huge for me and I hope that if you are considering an SSRI that you talk to your docter about it and get great results as I am starting to get. Good Luck!
4 Answers
kazwaz77
May 20, 2012
Hiya. Firstly, I'm sorry that you have had to put up with so much from that man. I was in a similar situation myself. My mother met my step-father when I was 9 and my idyllic life turned upside down when we moved in with him. He was a violent, drunk bully.....still is, but luckily now I don't have anything to do with him and neither do my children. That time, when my mother met him, was definitely when I started picking at my skin. Unfortunately, even though my life is good now, I still suffer from it along with anxiety and stress. I don't take any prescribed meds but I have started taking 5 htp which is a herbal supplement and it's helping my anxiety but I'm still picking. I want to stop so much, have tried so many times but I fail. If you want my advice, cut your father out of your life completely. Change your number, do what it takes. You don't deserve to be put through that from a person like him.x
seekingserenity7
May 20, 2012

In reply to by kazwaz77

Thank you for your reply and your words of advice. I really appreciate it! I'm so sorry you had a horrible situation occur with your step father. I know how disasterous things can get but it's obvious that you are a very strong person and are doing what you can to live a positive, healthy life! Picking is such a difficult thing to over come because, at least for me, it's something I do without even really noticing at first. I really wish you the best of luck and please update often and I am here if you ever need to vent!=)
ilovetocook1234
May 20, 2012
hi i do the same thing but on my feet. i have always worried and school is so stressful for me im srry that anyone has go though this problem. i wish i could stop and i wish you could too. my heart goes out to you!

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