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Healing
Slept 12 hours last night. The best thing for recovery is sleep right? I have not left my house or seen a person since Monday. My face looks a little better. My stomach still looks terrible it hurts as well and my vagina hurts a bit but looks a lot better. I have blown off everybody and not told any of them why. I do not know how much longer I can get away with it. I miss not being around people. I am lonely. I want to talk with someone and, visit with someone.
Before I started picking on Monday. I looked great literally there was nothing to pick but I guess if you look hard enough.
I have figured out I pick when I feel anxious. Depression will follow after. I feel more powerful knowing that I know my trigger and that I can avoid it better in the future. I was doing really well prior to this relaspe. I moved to Vegas in Jannuary and I had not touched my face until this week. I sliped I started picking. It was a normal session. I ended up hiding it somewhat. I spent two days with my boyfriend and then when I got home for litterally 2 days I lost all control. The worst I have ever done to myself.
I normally live with people so that there is someone to keep me in check. Since I live on my own now. No one was around to stop me, and it is bad. I took photos the pics are worse than I saw in the mirror. I want to share them. so, I can expose it maybe just like my wounds the need to dry out too.
May 25, 2012
Hi West. I am glad to hear that you have noticed improvement. I bet by the weekend, you'll be feeling much more confident and therefore willing to visit with others. Your story is so similar to the multiple episodes that I too have endured. It is tough, but you can get through it. The fact that you experienced some very healing, lengthy sleep is wonderful too. Don't be to hard on yourself and know that day by day you are getting better. Also, the fact that you are on these boards prove that you want to make a positive change. We can do it together. Best of luck. :)
May 25, 2012
It's great that you figured out your trigger. Mine is the same - anxiety. Or stress. And yes, depression always follows. But now that you know your trigger, you'll be ready to fight the urges when you're feeling anxious. You can do it!