my progress


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May 24, 2012

also, something i forgot to say is that im not on any medications and refuse to be. i dont want to rely on drugs to help me recover, i want to beat this on my own.
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May 25, 2012

I like your optimism! I started my own progress report thing on here 20 days ago and it has been SO helpful. I tried medication - but only lasted 2 days. I hated the side effects. So attempting to get through it drug-free now. So far so good, but it's still early days. Wishing you the best of luck with overcoming this condition! We can do it :)
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May 27, 2012

yes yes yes we can do it ! i like my optimism too and i want to share it with you and everyone ! im so glad you are on a good track with your picking
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May 27, 2012

You're doing great Sarah! Up to about 6 days straight now, right? I bet your boyfriend is proud :)
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May 28, 2012

when i wake up tomorrow it will be a whole week ! (: (: (: (: (: (: (:
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May 25, 2012

took my second shower of the day and washed off my makeup, so there is no reason for me to get close up to the mirror for the rest of the day. hopefully that means i can stay away, and no picking. its easier to not pick when i pamper myself and am gentle and nice to my skin. i dont really have scars anymore anywhere besides my face except a couple little light pink dots on my back which dont really bother me, so when i focus on the places where my skin is pretty that helps too. also, i have been keeping my nails filed down as short as possible, i like how it looks and if i DO happen to pick at a spot it does less damage as long as i can stop myself. i have this annoying cluster of whiteheads on my chin which im trying so hard to stay away from, and irritating breakouts on my left cheek. it gets so frustrating when i dont pick and i still break out ): i hope its all healed and perfect soon, i know i will have scarring, but i am young and a good healer and i have hope that the scarring wont be so horrible in a few months
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May 25, 2012

so last night as i was trying to fall asleep, i started thinking about a couple years back when my face was pretty much perfect. for some reason at that point i wasnt really picking at my face (other areas though). now, i have been doing better with my face picking but am still getting annoying breakouts, so i was thinking about what the difference was between now and then, and i realized.. back then i used this green foamy neutrogena face wash, meant for acne. since then i have been using cetaphil face wash for "normal to oily skin". i like cetaphil products and will continue to use the face lotion but i think today im gonna go to target and get the old green foamy stuff and see if it makes a difference, hopefully they still sell it. being optimistic (:
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May 27, 2012

i got the green foam stuff ! its a little different now, but its the same shade of green and smells the same and feels the same ! i used it last night and this morning when i woke up my face felt very dry, which wasnt the greatest but if its healing me than i can get over the physical feeling easily ! after monday i dont really have any social obligations so i can hide away with just my boyfriend and not feel ugly or self consious for a few days, i heal better when im not worrying about how i look so much. i have been working out everyday and doing my toenails all cutely (: when i do things that make me feel prettier it helps me to worry less about my face also. and no picking by the way. today was the 6th consecutive day of no picking and im done in the bathroom for the night so i can say i made it through day 6 (: (: (: im so excited and looking forward to healing.
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May 28, 2012

today i didnt pick (: and i didnt really think about picking or my face too much. i saw my dad for the first time in a while and i had a nice time, so thats good too. this post is shorter than i wanted it to be, but im very sleepy and cant think of what to say, also i have to be up early so goodnight ! staying positive
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May 28, 2012

so i have gone a week with no picking (: thank goodness. next goal is to make it another week. my face still has some breakouts and its frustrating but im gonna stick with the green foam and hopefully see some improvement soon (: even before this week i have been doing really good about not picking. im having a lot of positive feelings, and being nicer to myself lately. when i can go 4 weeks without picking, i think thats when i can say i 'used to' be a compulsive skin picker. hoping so much that i dont relapse, my face is feeling and looking rather annoying but ive gotta get through it. also i live in indiana, and its summer, its so so so humid and i have a feeling that its affecting my skin for the worse. its a little depressing because summer is like the most important time to look and feel pretty, but im going to figure something out. its going to get better.
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May 28, 2012

congratulations sarah. you are doing so well and we are all so proud of you! keep positive and keep strong. Alwyas remember that the breakouts you may be having are NEVER as bad as the result of picking and they will heal themselves if you leave them alone. I haven't been able to listen to my own advice much yet but I hope in time I will be able to. Good luck. stay strong. vix.
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May 29, 2012

thank you ! it really means a lot. i feel kind of dumb for this but when people tell me that they are proud of me on here, even though i have no idea who they are, it makes me feel good (: not too many people in my physical life can relate to my problems, and its so nice to be able to get support from people on here who know exactly what we're going through.
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May 29, 2012

made it through day 8 (: even if i still have some breakouts, not picking makes my skin look so much better because im not digging in and leaving scars and red sore spots all over. its nice to look in the mirror (from a distance) when i come home at night and take off all my makeup. my toenails are pink and sparkly today and its really pretty (: also, i think some breakouts are having to do with pms and stuff, i started my period a couple days ago so im hoping they will start to clear up because of that. when im stressed out about my face i like to clean my house and vaccum and do laundry, its relieving somehow. i have also been going to sleep earlier lately and im thinking thats good for my face, i used to stay up every night until 12 to watch conan, but this hot weather wears me out and i usually wind up going to bed sometime between 10 and 11. im feeling good right now, hopefully i can hold on to it. goodnight !
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May 29, 2012

My advice? Keep busy! Now that you aren't working or doing school, pick up a hobby that uses your hands. Playing the piano and knitting have been very helpful for me. Do something you want to do, but keep moving. You won't have time to pick! Good luck!
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May 29, 2012

today is hard ): i havent picked, and am not going to but my face is annoying and itchy today. i took the lightbulbs out of my bathroom for the evening.
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May 30, 2012

9 days of no picking ! (: (: (: i decided to stay in and not put on any makeup today. its so hot and muggy and its gross feeling to sweat under my makeup so today im giving myself a break. i dont know how patient i should be with this green foamy stuff, havent seen that much progress (maybe a tiny tiny bit) and it has been about 5 days since i started using it. its mostly just really drying and this morning when i woke up my eyelids were really itchy and stingy, i think dried out from the new face wash. im giving it a couple weeks and if it doesnt do anything for me i will switch back to cetaphil because it feels a lot nicer. most breakouts are on my cheeks and jawline and by my hairline in front of my ears. my forehead usually looks okay as long as i havent been picking at it and for some reason my nose is always pretty much perfect. my chin is clearing up because i usually breakout there when im pmsing and.. im not anymore. hoping that today goes well and maybe not wearing makeup today will give me a head start on healing. also, i have been sweating a lot lately so also drinking extra water, i alway drink atleast 2 liters a day (and nothing else), but lately it has been 2.5 or 3. so maybe that will help. i hope !
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May 30, 2012

Congratulations on going 9 days without picking. A definite achievement! Good idea to give your skin a day to breathe but make sure you are not tempted to pick - keep busy! I find if I am at home alone all day I tend to do a lot of picking as I have nothing to keep me occupied. Im at 4 days without picking now and really happy with that and working hard to keep going and make it 5 days. Good luck.
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May 31, 2012

im getting through it ! 10 days is my personal record and im going to beat it this time ! im proud that you have made it 4 days, stay strong ! we will get through this.
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May 31, 2012

so when i get through today it will be 10 days. which is my current record of no picking. when i get through to be tomorrow it will be 11, which is a new record ! im excited. my face is really dry right now and i dont know if my breakouts are clearing up but im being hopeful. but even if my face still breaks out occasionally, who cares? as long as i can stop picking i will be proud of myself and happy. starting tomorrow my boyfriend is off work until saturday so that should be a good distraction from my face (:
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June 01, 2012

today i broke my personal record. 11 days clean. so i guess that means, everyday i make it past today is a whole NEW record again. 11 days is such a long time, it would be so silly to turn back now (: i hope i can do this. its exciting to think that its a possibility that i could maybe never ever pick again.
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June 01, 2012

Go Sarah! That's awesome! So happy for you.
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June 03, 2012

13 days ! almost to my second week goal ! yay
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June 04, 2012

so i made it 2 weeks ! longer than ever. now to make it another week. im so happy and hopeful that my battle with picking will be over soon (: im going to win.
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June 05, 2012

feeling sooooo good tonight (: (: (: i have been eating really well lately and just doing nice things for myself. its showing in my face and everywhere and i am just so happy right now !
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June 06, 2012

15 days (: things are looking up (:
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June 06, 2012

so i picked ): on the 17th day. this sucks. i didnt cry, which is suprising because i usually do. i picked worse than i have in several months. there was a lot of blood and my face hurts in some places ): i got too comfortable looking in the mirror, because i thought i just wouldnt pick anymore..... im dumb and mad at myself ): i need to move on but its gonna take a while to recover from this. im thankful it was just my face but it really really sucks still.
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June 07, 2012

starting to feel better (: all i can do is move on and stop dwelling on it. i cant look perfect today, or tomorrow... but i will be closer than ever in a week or two because im gonna break my 16 day record this time around.
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June 07, 2012

* Duplicate Post *
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June 07, 2012

That's the right way of thinking about it. :) Right now I know my skin looks like crap, but guess what? I haven't picked in 2 full days and I gave up my tweezers! I gave them to my boyfriend who is out of town for work for the next 20 days. I want to heal up my eyebrow area (my problem area) by May 20th so I can get my eyebrows waxed for the first time ever. I have never gone without plucking, so this feels twice as hard for me, but I know plucking is what caused me to start picking that area in the first place. First, it used to be my chin and nose... As of right now I actually have 2 other spots on my face because I went back to a few old habits and picked the other areas I try to stay away from. My eyebrows are the last thing I have to conquer. I might not look perfect today, or tomorrow, or for the next week, but I know that the longer I go without picking the more beautiful and confident I will feel. We just have to think about the future. :)
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June 10, 2012

3 days without picking (: my face is looking better than it has in a while, and today im staying in and not putting makeup on so i can heal faster (: hoping today goes well, i know it will. eating healthy and working out helps me respect myself and put more effort into looking good and NOT PICKING. excited for the near future of my face (:
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June 11, 2012

4 days of no picking. staying strong
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June 12, 2012

i picked. on what would have been the 6th day. i picked A LOT. it really sucks. all i want is to be healed and beautiful, and IIIIIII ruin it. i am the one who ruins it for myself, i dont get it. im cancelling my plans today and not putting any makeup on (because i cant really, with all the oozing bleeding wounds all over my face). and im gonna do the best i can to get on with the healing process. im very depressed. it takes a few days after i pick for my face to feel back to normal and for me to feel like some healing is actually starting to happen. i dont know why i do this and i dont know why i cant stop ): especially when its the most influential thing in my life and in a HORRIBLE way. its destroying my self confidence and leaving scars on me that will never go away. i was excited to heal my face and be like.. comfortable going swimming in public this summer, but i have this feeling in my gut that even if i stopped picking today, the hyperpigmentation and the scars on my face will never go away enough. ill never be comfortable in front of people without makeup on. horrible day ): i need a good distraction
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June 13, 2012

I'm also trying to get over this addiction! I have been picking my face and my chest for almost 8 years now. I live in Finland and I'm 23 years old. I live with my boyfriend, we've been together for 6 years now. My bf has been very supportive, but he doesn't quite understand what dermatillomania is about! I really really want to get rid of this habit, because I feel like it's taking the control of my life! I also picked today a little, not much though, but I do have a couple of red spots on my face. Tomorrow we're going on a little road trip and I think that was the trigger! I alwas feel like I have to be "perfect" for any event (seeing my friends, family members, going out somewhere), but usually just end up picking my face, feeling ashamed and then cancelling everything! I feel like picking calms me down.. in some strange way. Sorry to hear that your day wasn't that good! :-( Remember, it may take months and years before getting over this, so don't be too harsh on yourself. Let's take one day at a time!
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October 05, 2012

Even though I'm 4 years sober (drugs) ...every day it's a struggle. I think about it all the time. Even though I'm not using it's still consuming. It still has such a hold on me, my life. I know I will stop picking. I stopped what I was doing 4 years ago I can surely (in given time) stop picking. You don't need a distraction, you need a solution. A distraction is only temporary, you need something permanent. Tomorrow is another day :-) you start it with a clean slate
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June 21, 2012

i stopped posting for a while but its gotten bad lately and i need to come back. i need some help. i picked today, this evening, really really bad. i also picked yesterday, pretty bad also. im gonna stop counting the days in a row, and just post daily. a day with no picking is a success, even if its only the first in a row, and i need to start thinking that way. im crying now, really depressed and scared that im getting back into my old patterns of just tearing the shit out of my face every day or every other day like i used to. i really need support from you all, im having a hard time with lots of things and i really really really need to recover from this more than ever. i need to move on, i need to stop making more nasty permanent scars on my face. i need to let myself be pretty. its killing me. so im posting everyday, no matter what. no more 6 days in a row. im just gonna talk about that day. i have been getting too close to the mirror lately, honestly a forcefield around my mirror that kept me atleast 3 feet away would really maybe solve my problem.
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June 21, 2012

Stop stressing about it! You're getting more and more anxious about the number of days. You need to relax and be calm. Maybe try meditating or something. But the more you stress and become anxious, the worse it will get. Just try to relax. Think positive. You are beautiful. Inside and out. Already.
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June 21, 2012

thank you so much. that was just the gentle slap in the face that i needed to move forward (: im gonna do what i can to not even think about my face or picking today or tomorrow or the next day, and then i will be healing big time !
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June 21, 2012

I so feel your pain. I've not been doing to well over the last week. I'm just not sticking to my boundaries. Maybe we need to make a cage around our mirrors : )
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June 21, 2012

im sorry to hear that but we are gonna get through it. i promise. im feeling better today (even though my face is a train wreck), and ready for a fresh start. we do ! we do need to make a cage around our mirrors. the only question is.. how ? ill brainstorm today (:
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June 21, 2012

feeling a million times better today. last night as i was laying in bed, too angry at myself to sleep i was thinking about the times im most likely to pick, and the things i can do that make me much less anxious and less likely to pick. i realized that literally more than 99% of the times i have a picking session its before a shower (i shower once in the morning and once before bed), which is probably good because thats when i wash my face and if i picked in the middle of the day, i would be overwashing, which makes my skin very dry and slows down the healing process. so, subconsiously, i must be controlling my picking, atleast in a way. that gives me hope (: then i began to ponder the times when i havent had the urge to pick, and felt the most relaxed and stress free. i narrowed it down to 4 basic activities, which are, in no specific order : cooking, eating, cleaning, and sex. does anyone relate to this ? so i decided that when im feeling anxious or just bored, even before i have a picking urge i will just cook, eat, clean, or have sex ! im excited and hopeful today (:
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June 22, 2012

got through yesterday without a hitch ! so im excited about that. i also ordered some fancy new makeup that has a bunch of good stuff (including vitamin a and vitamin e) to help me heal and reduce inflammation! cant wait for it to arrive. its called 'prestige skin loving minerals' and suprisingly cheap ($10/jar!!). i have been exfoliating my face pretty abbrasively every morning and i know thats supposedly not the best thing to do but it makes me feel good. and really really clean. so im doing it ! also i have been eating a lot of carrots because vitamin a is a good thing for healing! and green tea. i drink a cup of organic green tea every morning lately, and A LOT A LOT of water. like 3 liters a day. im feeling so optimistic (:
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June 23, 2012

not a spot picked yesterday! today im staying in, no makeup so i can heal faster. covered my mirror with a towel. i didnt exfoliate this morning and was very very very gentle with washing, and then put a lot of lotion on my face because that always seems to help me heal. and im gonna eat good healing foods all day (: i have a big weekend coming up and i want to feel and look good.
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June 24, 2012

had a couple close calls today but i made it through !
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June 24, 2012

yesterday was another success. i reallllllllllyyyyyy hope i can keep this up
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June 25, 2012

it is so hot and muggy where i am. no matter if you are outside or inside you really cant get away from it. at first i thought it was making my picking worse, but i realized that im like, sweating all the time. even though its gross to sweat, it is cleansing and it makes taking a shower even more refreshing and wonderful ! so im going to think about this weather as more of a positive thing. im doing good (:
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June 25, 2012

got through yesterday ! im doing way too much face "inspecting" lately, but i havent picked. i still need to stop that though, its too risky. i dont even know exactly how many days in a row i havent picked right off the top of my head, which is good because i have been trying to think about things differently. i made a deal with myself though, that if i make it to thursday i get to reward myself. havent decided what i want my reward to be though. another thing that is inspiring me lately is that its almost the 4th of july ! i LOVE the 4th of july, i dont know why, but i do and i want to feel pretty for it. and also the fact that i need to go visit my dad soon, and he knows about my picking, and i really love my dad, so if he sees me and my face is a mess i will feel so bad because of how he will feel if he knows i have been picking ! also, i ordered another new makeup product.. well, kind of makeup. its a face primer that goes under makeup from korres, just the regualr face primer. its 99% natural ingredients with vitamin e and other good stuff, and a lot of reviews i read about it said that when they used it, at the end of the day when they took all the makeup off their face was just glowing and beautiful because its good for your skin and helps to heal it ! so im very excited.
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June 25, 2012

This is awesome Sarah!!!! Keep it up girl! I use a similar product, the clinique bb cream, and until my picking set back, I was loving the results! I haven't picked so far today and since I have no where else to be I'm going to shower early and do my best to stay out of the bathroom the rest of the night! Also, when I'm recovering from nasty picking spells and I have to go out in public, like today, I find that it really helps me if I make everything else about myself look awesome. So, today I put on my favorite summer outfit and did my hair really nice, and since my picking is mostly down by my chin and mouth I did my eye makeup really pretty. It made me remember that even when I pick I am still a nice looking girl and I shouldn't give up on myself!
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June 26, 2012

OMG! i do that too ! like when i pick i will do every little thing that makes me feel prettier. im so proud you havent picked today (: (: (: i havent either. i almost did and then had this wierd experience where i was so close to picking and then i like, stepped out of my normal picking trance mode and thought to myself "what is the freaking point sarah? what am i going to gain?" and i decided what i would gain would be 3 horrible painful depressing days, and a ruined weekend ! so i put down my hands, backed away from the mirror, and that was that (: (: and it was liberating ! i controlled myself
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June 26, 2012

my next 2 weeks are pretty packed. i hope the stress of having to look good helps me not pick instead of causing me to pick. i think my picking has become more consious and in my control. i stopped myself in a way that i have never experienced today. i was in my picking zone and before i did anything, i thought about why i shouldnt, and it stopped me ! it was great !
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June 26, 2012

This is so awesome to hear! I am so proud of you for gaining more control-it is so hard to do, good for you girl!!!!! I almost picked today too, but someone on here suggested to me to do crunches and sit ups every time I felt the urge to pick, so I did that instead and then came on here. I still have the urge a little but I am resiting and I REFUSE to let it get the best of me. I will get through Day 2 of no picking!!!!! Keep up the good work, you are awesome!!!

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