my progress


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June 27, 2012

doing good and feeling good (: my face is kind of a mess at the moment, but showing definite signs of improvement ! also, a thing that helps, drinking lots and lots and lots of water makes you look healthy and glowy even if your skin isnt the greatest texturally. it also just makes you feel good and clean (: feeling clean is a biggie for me. keeping my mirror covered when i have no makeup on. even though i lift the towel and look at myself from time to time, to pick i would have to take off the towel, and hopefully during that process i would realize that i didnt actually want to pick. its like a physcological barrier, and very helpful for me. ALSO, i like to moisturize, moisturize, moisturize ! in the morning after i wash my face i use 3 pumps of cetaphil face lotion before i put on my makeup and then a generous layer of my jergens daily glow stuff all over my body. in the evening, after i wash my face i use 3 pumps of cetaphil, then wait a few minutes, and then do a whole nother layer ! crazy, right ? and then use this vaseline cocoa butter lotion with vitamin e, and i put A LOT on, like probably more than any sane person would. being super soft all over makes me feel pretty and feminine and encourages me to not pick !
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June 27, 2012

having another good good day ! this evening i decided to go back to the cetaphil though. the green foamy neutrogena stuff was just too drying and irritating. my skin deserves better (: it felt sooooo good to go back to my nice, gentle cetaphil face wash ! i didnt realize how much i missed it. i really reccomend just pampering your skin everywhere. it has helped me with picking so much, seriously. the products i use arent expensive at all ! just so so sweet and friendly
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June 28, 2012

I am so glad you had another good day!!! Keep up the good work!!!! I like to moisturize too, I feel like my face can't be hydrated enough!!! Today was kind of rough. I made it through another day, but barely. I had to stop and actually yell out loud to myself to knock it off!!!! My scabs are definitely healing but I feel like that's the hardest part for me because my face gets itchy so I want to scratch and then scratching always leads to picking. Also, I feel like covering after scab pinkness is so much easier than covering big scabs, so even with my best makeup on sometimes I feel insecure. But, today at the bank the teller told me that I have gorgeous hair and that really turned my day around! I might feel like a monster but that doesn't mean the whole world sees me that way, and there are still parts of me that are not scarred!
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June 28, 2012

im glad you got through it though ! you are so so strong. always remember your positive attributes. when im having a really insecure day, my boyfriend always tells me its so silly, and that he wishes i would see myself how everyone else sees me ! and hes probably right, im harder on myself than i should be. people who are worth your time will always notice and appreciate your positive attributes. the people who focus on the negatives are generally mean, jealous people. you are so so beautiful ! i know it. the only reason you need to stop picking is so that you FEEL beautiful (:
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June 30, 2012

You are so right! And thank you! I am so proud of you for not picking during your fight with your boyfriend! That must have been stressful, and I am so proud of you for staying strong!!!! I am doing good with not picking, the urges are still there but I'm fighting them and my scabs are almost healed. Let me know how you like your new makeup, and keep being awesome!!!!!! :)
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June 29, 2012

i didnt pick today. im having a big fight with my boyfriend
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June 29, 2012

no picking, feeling better. makeup and primer came today, but i already did my makeup so i will be trying them out tomorrow! im excited.
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July 01, 2012

no picking again ! (: the new makeup was PERFECT for me. i ordered 2 colors, because i didnt know which would be best for me, and when i tested them out i realized that its the perfect color for me when i mix the 2 ! so i didnt waste a dime (: it says it has a "gentle" finish, and i didnt really know what to expect. but gentle is the perfect word for it. its so natural, not chalky, not really a usual matte finish, and not shimmery at all. i have been eating so so so crazy healthy, mostly raw, no dairy or gluten. no red meat or pork, and lots of antioxidant rich foods ! its helping my skin to heal and also helping with my breakouts. also, i started exfoliating less often and more gently and it feels better. also, it feels SO much better now that ive been using cetaphil again for a few days. after i washed my makeup off this evening i looked at my face and realized it hasnt looked this good with no makeup since probably more than a year ago. im so so so so so sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo excited and hopeful omg (:
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July 02, 2012

Woooooo!!!! This is so great, girl!!! I am so happy for you that not only didn't you pick but you are starting to feel confident about your skin again!!!! SO AWESOME! I had a mini relapse today:( I popped a zit. I know I shouldn't have but I don't know what came over me. The good thing is after I popped it I snapped to my senses and put a band aid over it so I would not pick at it, and I haven't...so I am calling today a half success. I am really mad at myself for not being able to resist a stupid white head, but I am proud of myself for not letting myself go too far!
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July 02, 2012

it was just one spot though ! its so impressive that you stopped yourself ! i think you can still call today a complete success ! im so happy for you. you are going to be so perfect for your wedding (:
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July 02, 2012

no picking (: but i feel like im breaking out. im starting to think my breakouts are linked to emotional stuff. on thursday night i was really upset and freaking out, now its sunday night, when i washed my face i noticed a few new spots. i think it takes a few days for that kind of thing to show up in your skin, so it would make sense. that would suck though, because my emotions are a little bit crazy and hard to control. not in the greatest mood this evening ): but staying strong.
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July 03, 2012

i had a moderate relapse this morning. i feel horrible and guilty because i made a commitment to some people. but the most notable thing is that i picked myself right back up afterwards. usually when i pick in the morning i skip my workout and just get in the shower, then hide at home all day. today, after my session, i rinsed off my face with some cold water and proceeded with my day as if it were any other day. i worked out, made a smoothie, showered, did my hair and makeup, and got on with my life. im upset that i picked but im more proud of the way that i dealt with it. i have been eating healing foods all day so hopefully i will have a quick recovery. i made it 12 days, not too shabby.. hoping for another good run.
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July 04, 2012

today i feel pretty good (: i cleaned my apartment very thoroughly and i just feel so nice and comfy now (: im optimistic. i really want my face to look nice, and i have to keep reminding myself that the only way thats ever going to happen is if i just stop picking !
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July 05, 2012

no picking today. im itchy in the spots where i picked a few days ago but it just means healing so im being hopeful and happy (:
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July 05, 2012

I am glad you are healing! I had a relapse too, just this morning. I am so mad at myself, and wish I was dealing with it as positively as you did. The word failure just keeps ringing in my mind. I really do feel like one. Which I know is silly because this isn't something that can be cured over night and I have been doing really well up until this point. Im just so angry bc my wedding is 2 weeks away and I know there's a good chance I won't be fully healed by then. My fiance told me this morning that I am beautiful and he loves me no matter what, and I wish I could believe him. I just know I won't feel beautiful until I believe I am beautiful and that won't happen if I can't stop picking. I'm feeling really defeated...but I am trying my best to stay positive.
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July 05, 2012

im so sorry to hear that. this morning i relapsed again and it was such a horrible mess. i didnt work out, i havent even showered and i have been laying in my bed crying. i know its different because you have a wedding coming up, and soon ! but youre going to be okay. i promise. and even if you cant be perfect by your wedding, you should try with all your might to remember that he DOES love you no matter what, and you will have the rest of your life with him to heal and feel beautiful. we cant let ourselves feel defeated. i know how freaking horribly challenging that is but we HAVE to look forward and be optimistic. thats the only way we can ever make any progress. im having a terrible day, i picked already 2 different times, but im gonna do all i can to get through the rest of the day pick free, and hopefully turn over a new leaf tomorrow. i know the hopelessly desperate/depressed, wanting to give up, "im never going to stop picking" state you are probably in, im soo right there with you. but we have to fight it.
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July 06, 2012

Im so sorry you are having a bad day:( I am glad we can go through together even though its awful, there truly is comfort in the fact that I am not alone and that someone out there understands what I am going through. You are right, all we can do is try our best to move forward. We WILL get through this. I hope you got through the rest of your night ok, I am here for you girl. Chin up, tomorrow is a new day.
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July 06, 2012

had a relapse yesterday morning and it was pretty awful, but all you can do is get through it and move on. i havent picked since yesterday maybe around 2 ish. i pretty much cant look in the mirror without crying, i made such a mess of my face, but i know its downhill from here and im putting the best possible things into my body for healing. im really into whole, raw foods and also giving my body the nutrients it needs through foods rather than supplements. i also believe that what you put IN your body has a million times more to with what happens to it than what you put ON your body, so i guess thats how i stay so optimistic. even if my face looks totally like shit, my body feels good and happy because i am giving it the fuel it craves, and doing all i can to have a speedy recovery (:
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July 08, 2012

i relapsed again ! what is wrong with me??? i have been taking care of my body more than ever, but for the last week have been in a pattern of picking every third day. its depressing. i have been noticing less inflammation and quicker healing, but everytime i pick i know i am causing more and more permanent damage to my face and it is seriously breaking my heart. i am so desperate. how am i going to get over this ?
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July 09, 2012

trying to keep my chin up. im so depressed that i picked again. i look at myself in the mirror and my skin all over my whole body is beautiful and glowing and im grateful for that and it makes me feel so good... but people dont see me naked, people see my face. i have to get over this. i want to look like a healthy person, i feel like because of the way my face looks, people just think there is something wrong with me. if i could just stop for 2 weeks ! i would be so happy and so much better looking. i am so excited for august 10th, niko got us tickets to see lamb of god and dethklok. thats like the concert of my most intimate fantasies. i wish i could make a goal for myself to not pick until then, but i know i would only be dissapointed because i would fail.
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July 09, 2012

i picked again ! i need so desperately to get out of this rut im stuck in. i have picked 5 different times (4 diffferent days) in the last probably 8 or 9 days. this is freaking killing me ): im gonna tighten up on the rules. no more looking at myself in the mirror before my workout in the morning. that will be hard, but if i can do it, i will be a million times less likely to pick. i will cover it with a towel every night before bed. also, no more face touching in the mirror even if its not picking unless i am washing my face or putting on moisturizer or doing my makeup. no eating of any foods that make me feel even the tiniest bit crappy or guilty or not good about myself unless it is a weekend and niko is there to keep an eye on me ( sometimes eating bad makes me feel anxious and i pick). i need to de claw myself (cut my fingernails down to the skin) twice a week. preferably monday and thursday mornings. ONLY EXFOLIATE IN THE MORNING !!! that one is key for some reason. a lot of times when i exfoliate at night the next morning i wind up picking. its stupid. i get so down when i pick but after a few minutes or sometimes a few hours i remember that it will get better. the sooner i stop picking, the better it will get, and faster ! i take care of my body in so many ways but then i pick and its like im just sabotaging myself. like i dont really want to feel pretty or comfortable with myself, but i know i desperately do ! im making a hard copy of my rules to tape onto my bathroon mirror. i hope i can do better this time.
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July 10, 2012

got through the rest of yesterday and had a very good morning ! followed my rules for the most part and not a spot picked ! im feeling good and optimistic and wanting to look pretty so bad. im SO close ! since ive been eating really well, i heal like 4 times faster. it is crazy.
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July 11, 2012

Sarah! I'm so sorry I haven't been hear to give you a positive boost for the past couple days:( things are getting crazier and crazier for the wedding...I'm getting so stressed and a little broken out but I have been so busy that I haven't been picking. Don't get down on yourself, you are beautiful inside and out and you can beat this. I have been thinking a lot and I think its jjust no good to set goals like "I won't pick until such and such a date" because it just sets us up for disappointment. I think we need to make a new goal to love ourselves and take this on one day at a time. We can do it and things will get better. This morning I was so happy to see that the nasty spot down by my chin is almost completely healed....but then I got so frustrated because I noticed a new cyst right above that spot. I swear its like the second I heal there is another spot to tempt me and drive me insane. Ugh! But I am leaving it alone!!! And it will go away. Stay positive girl, chin up!!!
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July 11, 2012

i understand, never been through wedding stuff but i would imagine getting everything taken care of is incredibly hectic ! missed you though, and im soooooooo glad to hear you have been doing well ! i think you are right about not setting long term goals. we need to be more excited just to get through one day, and to be a tiny bit more healed and happy the next day ! how soon is your wedding now ? im so excited for you (: and i know you can stay strong.
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July 11, 2012

did good this morning (: which is good, and i have to keep it up because i have some binding engagements this weekend that i cant really bail out of just because i feel ugly. i have been thinking of my positive attributes today and its making me happy (: i think im very pretty, and i think my face has the potential to heal almost back to perfect flawless skin ( even though it may take a few months). i have some cratery scars in my cheeks but they have lightened up a lot and are not that deep at all, ive seen a lot worse. the rest of my face has some pigmentation scarring, but i think that will go away over time, and there are some scabs and blemishes on my face but i am so on the right track ! (: (: (: (:
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July 11, 2012

Goooodd!!!!! I am so glad you had a good morning and that you took time to acknowledge what is wonderful about you!! I believe In you and know that you can get your face healed!!! You are so right about celebrating each day we succeed. One small victory at a time! And I am sorry again about my absence, and yes oh my goodness all this stuff is getting hectic! It is only 10 days away! Can't believe it. I am really feeling good lately and hoping to stay super strong until the big day!
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July 12, 2012

i am so glad for you ! (: (: (: and also i hope you can keep being strong even after your wedding !
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July 12, 2012

im so happy that im doing better lately (: the biggest help for me is keeping the mirror covered in the morning until AFTER i workout. mornings are my worst time for picking. i think it helps to know when you are most likely to pick so you can be extra careful at those times ! another thing is, i think having a healthy diet and lifestyle has the potential to be a HUMUNGOUS help through this battle we are facing. when you take care of your body and fuel it with the right things, atleast for me it has helped to control my stress and anxiety so much, and the times when i feel good and happy are better than ever before. when i treat myself right with my diet and excercise, i am encouraged more than ever to also be nice to my skin and not pick !
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July 13, 2012

I am happy for you!!!!! I picked last night...ugh. But. I decided I will not have a defeatist attitude about it. It happened, but it wasn't horrible. I think slowly but surely I will figure out when enough is enough. This past time, it started out as just popping a little zit and I didn't let myself squeeze with my nails, and I stopped after it popped. I was pretty happy with myself for that, but then later I came back to it and again, I told myself no nails and don't squeeze to hard but I broke the skin without even intending too...that was a bit frustrating, but instead of continuing to pick I put some healing ointment and a bandaid on it (this has been working for me lately) and went to straight to bed. I think I need to start looking at each picking slip up as an opportunity to learn from myself, and stop completely shutting down on myself when I do slip up. You are so right about eating healthy and exercising. I haven't been so great with exercise lately, but I have never ate this healthy before and it does make me feel really good. I am so glad that you have found a good routine with healthy diet and working out because you are so right about it helping to control anxiety and stress!!! I hope you have another good day!!!
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July 13, 2012

im sorry to hear that ): but today will hopefully be good for you ! the wedding is so soon, you must be excited (: (: im having a very bad day, but i will get through it.
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July 13, 2012

last night i picked 2 really annoying little whiteheads, they were really on the surface i was gentle and didnt feel too guilty about it. i wasnt going to call it a "relapse" but planned to admit it to you all. i didnt even really get upset about it, but then this morning i definately picked. for me it always starts with one little spot that i just cant stand, and then i see something else and am like "hey, why not ?" and then i just get carried away. im very dissapointed. and crying. i think it has a lot to do with the fact that i am not feeling so good about my relationship lately. my boyfriend is always so busy and hes not making me feel special, he doesnt understand my picking problem and sometimes it seems like he forgets that it is an issue at all. it sucks because im not so close with my parents, and i really really need support that he isnt giving me. i have to go out tonight, and i reeeeeeeaaaaaalllly dont want to now.
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July 14, 2012

Oh :( I'm so sorry to hear that you didn't have such a good day and that you're feeling a bit down about your relationship. You've proven that you can be strong and kind to your skin and body. You know you can do it. Don't let one setback get in the way of what you hope to achieve. You will have beautiful skin and you'll feel great about it. One thing you said to me that I always think about, is that your skin is a healing machine! It's so true. Skin is great at healing - especially for a young person like you. I can totally relate to anxiety-driven picking. When things aren't going so well for me, I'm more likely to pick. Then things tend to get worse because you're feeling annoyed with yourself. It's hard when you have to go out at times like these. But just remember that people appreciate you and they like having you around. You're a very warm and caring person so I'm sure people enjoy your company. Keep your chin up, take a deep breath, and just start afresh. I have faith in you :)
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July 14, 2012

thank you (: that made me feel a lot better. yesterday actually wound up being pretty good and now i am back on my way to healing (: (: (: i havent looked in the mirror yet today which helps me not think about the damage i have done ! im excited to move forward today (:
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July 15, 2012

I can so totally relate to this. I picked at at an annoying white head too, and without even thinking about it...I went to far. Ugh. But we cannot let our problem and our struggle become who we are. You are beautiful, inside and out and you have to find a way to make yourseld believe that even at the highest levels of discomfort. It is so hard, but if you can find it in yourself to say "this doesn't define me!" I think it really helps. Remember we once talked about doing ourselves up in every way we can to help us to still feel pretty?! I hope you did that!! And that you went out, because even though you are likely to be a bit self conscious, being with friends can help you relax and get your mind off the tough stuff!
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July 15, 2012

i did do that (: i had a really good night, i actually felt pretty ! a lot of boys were staring and when we went to dinner the hibatchi chef hit on me right in front of my boyfriend, hahaha. he was a little bit bold but it made me feel good. even though we are both in committed relationships.. its nice to be reassured by strangers that we are are attractive, you know ? i
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July 16, 2012

Omigosh, definitely! Our boyfriends love us for so many different reasons, sometimes its just nice to know that a complete stranger simply finds you attractive. Mega confidence boost!
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July 15, 2012

my evening out yesterday wound up being pretty good (: had a good day today, slept in and didnt put on makeup. worked out, cleaned my apartment, showered, and exfoliated my face (: i feel good and clean at the moment. a lot of things are coming up that i really really really want to look pretty for.. i hope i can work towards some serious healing. i am very excited to move forward (: (:
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July 15, 2012

There's that positive Outlook! You are so strong and I am so proud of you for encouraging yourself the way you do...honestly, it encourages me too. So, thank you:) I picked at the white head I popped...its not horrible, but it could have been nothing and that's what is frustrating me so much. But, it is coverable with makeup, and if I leave it alone I think it will heal pretty quick!
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July 15, 2012

I have been reading up on skin picking because I really need and want to stop. I'm 24 years old and I have picked at the skin around my finger nails since I was about 7 years old and just cannot seem to stop this awfull habbit and it gets me really down. I have been reading a lot of comments on here and thought I'd register and update daily as I am determain to try once and for all to beat this habbit. I have low self esteem and when I have been reading up about this condition it made it more clear to me why I possibly started to do this. My childhood wansnt a bad one I have a younger sister and brother and we always got whatever we needed and wanted. My parents relationship was very unstable and my dad would have to move out on numerous occasions I seen my mother hurting so many times and that hurt me, but I'm pleased to say ther are still together. I feel like this may have been where it started for me I've been diagnose with depression recently and I always feel on edge and nervous. I live with my boyfriend and we have our ups and downs and I sometimes feel very insecure. When I'm in this state of mind all I can think about is biting the skin to the point when the skin is pouring of blood and its raw. It looks awfull yet nobody understands people including my friends and family think its just bad habbit. I've never really spoken to anybody about how down I feel because I don't want to put that onto people. The day I stop will be the day I'm happy. Does anybody have any tips to help me for my journey?
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July 15, 2012

well then i am so glad you found this place ! (: finger picking is a very hard thing because you can look down at your hands anytime anywhere. me and sickandtired are mainly face pickers, and we do most of our picking in the mirror which puts us in a little bit of a different place than you, but a lot of the same guidelines to quitting picking still apply. most importantly, you need to believe in yourself and think about all the reasons why it is so important for you to stop. you have to know you will relapse during the process, probably many many times.. but youve got to learn to pick yourself back up and be hopeful and optimistic through it all. on a physical level, it might help you to wear some gloves when you are at home, and even better ! put some good smelling vitamin e lotion on your hands and then put the gloves on ! or if you dont want to do that, put some neosporin on your wounds and bandaids around them, i bet it would help if you had some sort of barrier to your hands, because you would have to consiously choose to remove them and then pick. get your nails done, or do something pretty to them yourself, so when you look at them you will think about how you want to let your finger skin to heal and look pretty too. i hope some of this can help you and as long as you keep posting on skinpick i will be here to support you through your struggle ! good luck (: (: (: i know you can do it
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July 16, 2012

skreed is right! Being positive, optimistic, and persistent will help you! You have to truly want to change, and you need to understand that change is hard. No matter how much your picking habit decreases, there will always be a need for you to remind yourself of all your positive attributes in order to keep you on the right track. It seems daunting and hard at first: but believing in yourself helps so so much. And when you are feeling down, coming on this forum can help boost you up because there are other people who believe in you. I know you can beat this!!! Wearing gloves or creating a barrier for yourself is a great idea, I hope you give it a try!! Y
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July 15, 2012

feeling good today ! it seems like everyday, more and more events that i have to go to are piling up. my boyfriend plays drums for a couple metal bands in the state, and also records/produces other local bands so we are asked to go to a lot of concerts, and he also has to play shows pretty frequently. sometimes it is a lot of fun, but when im not doing so well with my picking its the worst. i just want to stay home and hide but we cant. as long as i dont pick, i am especially looking forward to july 28th ! im so hopeful that i can stay strong until then !
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July 15, 2012

i have been looking in the mirror as little as possible, and i did for the 1st time today just a few minutes ago ! i always break out after a picking session, i have some irritating looking whiteheads but they dont hurt or itch or anything and there isnt a lot of red inflamed areas on my face at all (: if i can make it through this week, i think i could look better than i have in a reeeeeeaally long time by the weekend. jeez i hope i can do it
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July 16, 2012

You can do it!!!! You are so strong, I know you can!!!! Yesterday was really good because I was so busy all day making programs and favors for the wedding, and we had so many people coming in and out of the house I didn't have time to pick. I find that when lots of people are around, I don't think about it as much. Just a few more days til the big day and right now all my marks are coverable, so hopefully I can go without making any new messes!!!
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July 16, 2012

im so excited for you you dont even understand ! im hoping so hard that you wont pick that my head is probably going to explode !!!! you are going to look absolutely beautifully wonderfully stunning. i know you can do this, you have to ! (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (:
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July 16, 2012

If anyone can do it, it's you Sarah!! Just think of how great you'll feel :)
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July 16, 2012

Thank you skreed and sickand tired and sorry sarah for hijacking your blog I'm new to this site and thought that was my own blog hehe. I havnt had a good start I did well yesterday and started picking and biting my skin again it is so so hard but I have not been as bad as usual. Thanks for your support I pick my skin around my fingers and on my face not as bad on my face though. I'm going to try the gloves and use maybe e45 cream. Would love to get my nails done so badly but my hands arnt in a good state at the minute I'd be so embarresed. Have any of you guys had therapy or have yous just used your will power and this site? Glad that yous are getting there yourselfs too and hope I can take a leaf out of your book. I have a new spot and can't stop thinking about picking so I have came on here and I'm now dermermain not to. I'm going on holiday in five weeks and want to get my nails done that is my aim hopefully the redness and swelling on my fingers go down : (
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July 16, 2012

haha dont worry, you didnt hijack my blog im happy to share it with you ! i havent had therapy for my skin picking, i used to be in therapy for my obsessive compulsive disorder, but all they try to do is give you drugs which i am not willing to take. i know that i can do this on my own. do the gloves ! then you cant pick at your face either ! i know what its like to have an annoying new spot that is almost too irresistable to pick, but you can resist. and when you do, you will feel so accomplished and proud of yourself. we will be proud too !!!! (:
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July 17, 2012

Like Sarah, I am determined to beat this on my own. I do not want to resort to any kind of drug. Actually, when I first got serious about this forum it was in a moment of weakness...I wanted to know about drugs and if they worked and who had used them. All the responses I received made me realize that with support and persistence I can do this on my own! And you can too! We are here for you :)
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July 16, 2012

i am in such a good mood right now. so excited for sickandtired and its inspiring me and making me so so happy, so there is no way im going to pick today. knock on wood. i have been eating lots of omega 3s lately(mostly in the form of walnuts and chia seeds), because i heard they are one of the most important skin foods and my boyfriend told me i look 'plump' lately. i dont think he realized that plump is just a cute way to call someone fat, but i made it very clear after the fact. then he said "no, sarah, thats not what it means. plump is how they describe a perfect, juicy piece of fruit". he told me he was trying to say that i looked soft and milky and well hydrated, haha. i always thought the most genuine compliments were the specific and wierd ones, rather than just 'you're pretty', so it made me happy to hear (:

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