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Sarah-108 , 25 May 2012

Day 2: My Journey to Recovery

Today is the start of my second day (I picked my face yesterday), and right now I can tell just how tough this is going to be. I hate the way the scabs look above my eyes. :( I have to get ready for my younger brother's grad in a few minutes and it saddens me to know I have to go there looking like this. Afterwards, I have a family dinner which I will again be in public for, and then tonight I will be spending the night with my boyfriend which means I will have to take my makeup off. He supports me, but it's so hard to let him see me like this. I have put seeing him off since sunday and he knows that this is why. I can't keep doing this to him. This is going to be a challenging journey. I want to heal without wearing makeup which is going to be the hardest thing I will ever do. There are 2 days I will wear makeup. One is today, and the other is for work on Sunday. When I attend my bartending course on Monday-Thursday however, there will only be a small group of people, so I will suck it up and make up a story about a bad waxing experience. I am okay as long as they don't think I did this to myself. Even this morning I had the urge to pick at my skin, but I know that I can't. I am so glad my boyfriend will be taking away my tweezers tonight, but I'm worried about the dryness of the skin. It usually starts with me using tweezers to pick off the dry parts so it's easier to cover up. I guess I will have to suck it up and live at least a week of looking ugly for a life looking beautiful. I love myself, I just HATE this. I hate how I mutilate my body. I am going to be posting progress photos, so here it goes: DAY 1: http://i204.photobucket.com/albums/bb121/sarah-108/Dermatillomania/Photoon2012-05-24at18434-1.jpg DAY 2: http://i204.photobucket.com/albums/bb121/sarah-108/Dermatillomania/Photoon2012-05-25at1102.jpg It looks horrible I know.
1 Answer
vix
May 26, 2012
Hi sarah Had to reply to your post as I really feel we are in the same boat. I too pick at my face and have done for over 10 years and unfortunately have been unable to control this. I had a bad session of picking today and I also use twezers to pick off dry bits that I think shouldnt be there. It is always worse after taking them off though. The only thing that works is just leaving well alone and despite knowing this I still cant manage to do it. I live with my boyfriend and his this from him for years but now its too difficult to hide it and he knows everything. I hate disappointing him because he just wants me to leave my face alone but I cant and I can see that he doesn;t understand and he is upset with me whenever I pick. I really really want to stop this and even though I'm just minutes after a massie picking session i want to stop right here right now and try to lave my face well alone ( which is very difficult when I have a big red weeping crater on my chin) but I'm going to try and stop today too. Maybe we can try and motivate each other by updating on here how we are getting on. I would love to be able to post on here that Ive not picked for so many days and so would motivate me to stop. Wishing you loads and loads of good luck and hope to hear all about how well you r doing soon! Take care vix

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