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graciemay , 08 Jun 2012

New to this board

I didn't realize there was a forum for this. I pick and pull hair and I've been discreet about it forever. I never knew it was related to anxiety or perhaps a childhood trauma. I also pick my nals and bite them. I'm looking forward to learning more about this so I can help myself. I think deep down I have a big fear/anxiety issue related to rejection and shocking news. When I was 16 a close friend killed herself - my day was normal until then. I think it messed with my perception that things were safe. It scared me because my home life fell apart after that eventually leading my parents to divorce and a slew of other problems. I don't think I ever addressed this because I thought if I said it I was disloyal to my family whom I love very much.
1 Answer
June 08, 2012
Welcome to the boards - I'm new as well... well, not to picking. I find it interesting that you don't find things "safe" anymore. When I was three, a boy ripped out a good chunk of my hair for no good reason. That's when I realized that we all have a free will and anybody can potentially hurt you. Nothing was "safe" to me after that, either. I've picked as long as I can remember. Though, first at a blanket. I destroyed them, and my mom couldn't find them anymore... so what did I do? Yep, I started harming myself at five years old. Did you ever have something you picked at other than yourself? My therapist suggested that I try my best to find my blankies again and pick at them. It may look weird for a grown woman carrying around a blanky, but I think I would feel better.

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