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dermatillomania and tricotillomania! help
Hey everybody. I am 21 years old and have been picking since I was 10. It all began when I got lice at school, and then because of the scratching, a few places got hurt and this healing tissue grew over it, and i pulled it always again off. Since then I have always had actual holes in my head. Like 1 or 2 years after this, I also began pulling hair strains. It was all a little bit limited to this, even that I could never swim in peace or let my girlfriends try new hairstyles on me (they knew something was up, they kept asking me always to divide my hair in the middle, or stuff like that, it was all so embarassing). I also always took a few spots off my face, specially those black ones, but this part I have been managing very good. It all got worse when I was 17 and entered Med school, and began trying to get those tiny growing hairs off my crotch, armpit and eyebrows, using a needle and tweezers. Ever since I can't stop it. I have been medicated with Zoloft and then Clomipramine and then Zoloft again, at the maximum dose. I also used bupropion. They had not much effect though. I have been to a lot of therapists ever since I was 7 or 8 (because of other problems), but none could really help me until now. One year ago I began picking at my legs and I haven't stopped since. I hate this so much, because I can't wear anything short and I'm from a tropical country. It's killing me. I notice that it gets better during vacation periods, but at the moment I'm under a lot of stress and I have a ball of my college in two weeks. I don't know what to do. Make up doesn't cover the red holes and scars on my legs. Does anybody have the same problem? I would need to talk to somebody in the same situation... I haven't picked since yesterday in the night when I destroyed my tweezers, after picking for 2 hours. If anybody could help, please...
June 17, 2012
Do u want to talk? I'm 31 and I've been picking for as long as I can remember. I literally just got through picking and my friend stopped me and I'm shaking and I know I need help. Where do u live? I'm in Kansas.
September 08, 2012
Hey. I'm your age, well, just turned 22 this year. I started when I was 15. High school was so stressful for me that I noticed I became more self conscious and a huge perfectionist. In gym class I was a huge geak (in the fitness sense) that my teacher would often use me as an example for running and technique. I was also frequently told to model. But all this pressure had a completely destroying influence on me. Whats worse is I didnt know what makeup was at the time so I never had anything to cover up pimples or problem areas and instead started to pick them. And I never stopped.
I feel for you. Its tough to see your skin and want to fix it because I really believe thats what our instinct/impulse is to do. But we're actually hurting ourselves.
The thing you have to realize though, and I have to figure this out to, is the belief that IT WILL GO AWAY. If we just let it. I hate myself so much that I just hurt myself more after. And then there are always horrible akward embarassing moments when someone kinda notices you have an issue.
I always try to count. Day 1. Day 2. Day 3. Of absolutely pick-free behaviour. Be very patient. Today is Day Zero. Throw out your tweezer, pins, needles, THROW THEM OUT. (You can pluck your eyebrows at a friends house later) Cut your nails REALLY short and try not to go to the bathroom to groom unless its dark. You can wash your face that way and go straight to bed. The breaking period is three days. Make three days and then start A VERY CONCENTRATED effort to avoid picking. Don't even look at your arms. Cover your mirrors if you have to. Wear long sleeve shirts at home, and try not to go home until you absolutley have to. Wake up, put on makeup, make yourself feel beautiful, put on a nice blouse and long skirt (thats airy for your climate) and go to school. Then stay at a coffee shop. Engage yourself in other activities. Sleep over at a friends house all weekend so they can monitor you. Step by step you can do this.
Pretend you dont have this issue. Why not? Lie to yourself. Fake it until you make it. This is just one thing in your life that is dissappointing you. AND LUCKILY, its your skin, You have to believe that every day it is trying to heal. We are just very impatient, probably type-A personalities. Success is so important to us we cant handle not being able to control ourselves that we've gotten crazy about it.
How are you now? Let me know. Goodluck. I'm at Day Zero today. My longest stint was 33 days haha. :)