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2Apples3 , 01 Jul 2012

Has anyone found a way out?

I'm sixteen years old and began biting and picking at my skin at the age of three. At first, it was only on the insides of my hands. Most of the time, I would bite and pick until I would bleed.My parents never found out because I learned how to hide it rather well. The skin on my hands was never able to grow back because of how much and how often I would bite. When I turned twelve, I tried stopping by biting the outside of my fingers instead of the inside. The skin on the inside began to heal for the first time, and I was glad... But then I quickly realized that the skin on the outside wasn't healing back to the way it was initially, so, I pretty much ruined the outsides of my fingers. I moved back to biting the inside, and that's the way it is today. Thirteen years of my life shackled by this disgusting habit. I can't help but unconsciously start biting and picking the skin on my fingers. If ever I leave my hands alone, I begin to unconsciously bite and chew on my lips and the insides of my cheeks. Sometimes, I even bite the taste buds off of my tongue. It's painful, but hopelessly addicting. I've been doing that more often lately, and it's getting really bad. So bad, that eating and smiling is painful now. Once, I even burrowed a purple hole into my cheek with my canine tooth that bled for hours. The thing is, once I start, it's like I just can't stop! And then once the skin starts to grow back, it feels bumpy and uneven, so I keep biting! Another thing I do is I pick at the skin on the bottom of my feet. As a matter of fact, I did that today. Sometimes, my feet bleed. Putting on socks and shoes is horribly painful, but yet I can't stop. I am ashamed to let people shake my hand because of the horrid way my hands feel, and I am ashamed to go to pools because of the way my skin looks when it gets really wet. I work with kids a lot, and I can't even hold their hand because I don't want them to get scared. They feel disgusting, and they LOOK even worse. This is an overwhelming, horrible habit. I know people that pick their cuticles often, but nothing to this extreme. I'm often ashamed to tell anyone about this. I'm not suicidal, and I don't do these things to purposefully hurt myself so that I can feel pain. Does anyone else suffer from anything just like or similar to this?

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