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And so it begins...
I have been picking since I got my first pimple as a teen. It has gone from my face to my scalp to my back, shoulders, chest and on down. I pick pores and find bumps that are microscopic and turn them in to big red splotches. I can't wear half the shirts I have in my closet because they are too low cut and show my blemished chest or the sleeves are too short and show all the red marks on my arms. My face breaks out, I pick and then put on makeup which just makes the break out worse. It is a vicious cycle and you all seem to understand. I am going through a stressful time right now and my self-confidence is at an extreme low which makes it WAY WORSE. I just don't know how to stop. I have tried for years now and can't. I know I am an attractive woman, but that doesn't seem to stop me from hurting myself. I try and reach out to a few people that are close to me, but they don't seem to understand the severity of it. Even my mother (who seems to have a similar problem) doesn't address it or see my struggle with it. I am considering therapy, but I cannot afford it. But if it means my happiness...well, I guess it is worth the investment. I have a solo art show August 17th. I would like to have decently clear skin by then so that I can wear a new dress I have and feel confident being interviewed and photographed. This is a big show for me and I don't want to be distracted by the thought of how bad I must look or for people to see a lack of confidence in me. Anyone have any tricks or tips that have helped them in their struggles?
July 26, 2012
Hi KYT, I get where you're coming from. I've had times where I'm nervous about a big appointment and rush to the bathroom five minutes before I have to leave, which just makes me feel more self-conscious in the actual moment because my skin is uneven. I would like to toss out my Dermablend makeup and go make-up free outdoors (standing tall). I use my hands to pick, so it's not as easy to ignore them. I find trying to remove myself from the situation or talking myself out of it doesn't help when the actual moment strikes. But I've read that if you replace the picking with another physical behaviour you find comforting it can help. I'm finding that rubbing my arm or pressure points on my hands relaxes me, and reminds me to take a breath. I stumbled onto it, but so far it's helping. If you can have something with you that relaxes you (in a positive way) or you can quickly reach for, I think it might help.