A note to myself


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July 24, 2012

Have a shower. Apply mud mask. Wash off. Wear snail gel on face. Apply Sudocrem.
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July 24, 2012

I relate to your suffering. Hold your head high :)
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July 24, 2012

None of my siblings pick and they are older than me, so why do I have this massive problem? All the boyfriends I've been with all had beautiful clear skin and none of them were vain. Although there was one boy who obviously hadn't got out off puberty yet and had terrible acne and pits but even that didn't bother me from being strangely attracted to him. My skin was also good then and I never picked or worried about my complexion. I feel like I have some unresolved issues, that could be the reason why I agonise about myself. Growing up with my sisters, they used to be cruel to me and I was abandoned at home from the ages of 11-14. Whilst my siblings were growing up in their teens, I was left alone indoors a lot and rarely went out apart from going to school. My father had a massive gambling addiction and barely stuck around anymore even though we were 'living' with him. This became more noticeable when my mum left when I was 8 and I was very attached to my mum. Then I moved to my mum's at 16, and my mum always pointed out something on my face. That's when my skin obsession probably started. I remember feeling ugly and crying in my bed because nobody had made me feel special. Until I started University, and friends and boyfriends would compliment me. But I still felt neglected and burdened in a way because the way guys would make me feel small and my boyfriends all ended up becoming huge dick heads.