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ziggy , 26 Jul 2012

Why I Pick

I'm new to discovering that my bad habit has a name. I really want to stop this picking. I've been picking for well over 10 years now, mostly when I'm stressed, angry or just overwhelmed. I get a thrill from picking and releasing the impurities that are within me. I only look at myself long enough to wash my skin and slather on creams. I feel content until I see what I've done to myself, or until my skin starts to burn. It's a disgusting habit that I want to beat. But it's also a tempting addiction, like a craving, I can't think about anything else once I notice or feel an imperfection. I'm told I'm pretty but I don't see it. A part of me feels that at least if I destroy my skin, and make myself look unattractive then any rejection will be because of my skin...and only because of my skin, a superficial appearance but not a rejection of me. I'm trying to stop for 24 hours. It'll be the first time in a while. I've been good for 10 and it's been a horrible day. I plan to sleep for 8. Just a few more to go...
2 Answers
July 26, 2012
Day 1- A horrible day today. I guess when you say you're going to start getting better, the most tests are sent your way. I managed to make it for 24 hours without touching my face. It wasn't easy, my skin actually started feeling itchy. Then I got into a big fight with someone who's close to me. I felt guilty, angry and frustrated. I picked at my shoulder and back. But only three small bumps. (I'm not going to lie, it felt good). Then I told myself it wasn't doing me any favours. Hurting myself isn't solving anything. I stopped. Not exactly a huge victory, but still not a full blown attack either...I haven't let myself study my face in the mirror today. Kept me from finding imperfections.
July 28, 2012

In reply to by ziggy

Congratulations on stopping that day. It isn't a huge victory to you but you need to remember that getting yourself to stop like that is the first step! You also are doing well so far by keeping yourself from looking in the mirror. I've been picking my face for hours at night time for almost a year. It started causing problems with my fiance because he would wait for me to get into bed and I wouldn't. I still look in the mirror and will still pick at dry skin, but I'm able to stop myself from making it worse. Now it's only for 2-5minute periods before I stop and walk away. The more you get yourself to stop, the better! There is much less of a chance to cause scars. It also becomes easier to stop looking for imperfections to pick at. I haven't looked for a pimple to pop in weeks, I'm just struggling now with the never ending dry skin on my nose. Keep up the good work and it will get easier. I promise.

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