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soembarrassed , 08 Aug 2012

Ruining my face

I am 40 almost 41 and for the last 3 years have been destroying my face. Any little bump i pick at until I am left with an open wound. These wounds used to heal fairly quickly now they take months. They start to heal and I CANT STAND THE SCAB OR FLAKES OF SKIN so of course I pick at those. I really need to stop this as now I am starting to get scars, which then I pick at thinking if I can get that little raised uneven skin picked off then problem solved - no more scar. That is not the case. You then have an open wound all over again that starts healing with scar and all. I cant tell you how many times I have called in to work with one excuse or another as I am too embarrassed to be seen. I have even gone to lunch and picked and called in some "family emergency" that I have to go take care of as not to return. I cant stand the feeling that there is a spot light on every little mark. I constantly watch people's eyes to see if they are looking at my marks. This is so ruining my life. I never want to go anywhere. Cancel plans all the time. My friends tell me I am being parinoid that you cant even tell there are marks on my face. Who do they think they are kidding? I have mirrors (which I look in at least 100 times a day) I can see them, so I know they can. I really dont know why I started doing this. The best I can figure is when I started seeing this guy and felt that I HAVE to have perfect skin or he would not be interested. I know this not to be the case as scabby marks or not he always wants to do something with me. I cant tell you how many times I have backed out of plans with him just so he wouldnt see the mess of my face. I am at a lost on what to do. How to stop. How to heal. I really dont want to spend the remainder of my life with band aids on my face at night trying in vane to heal the mess I have created. Any tricks you all have on healing these nasty marks, or stopping the urge to pick would be greatly appreciated and welcomed.
289 Answers
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soembarrassed
November 15, 2012
hope2heal I have told myself the same things over and over. Thanks for your kind words. Now to just get all that wonderful insperation you gave me to sink in to my thick skull and fluttery heart!!! That is the hard part!!! Especially since I work with the ******* (insert appropriate swearword here) lol) Safe option you are soooo right... more like makes good money. Seriously she is 16 years younger than him....from what I hear lazy and also whiney....BUT she makes good Money!!! So Money over Love is how I am seeing it. He made his bed he can now sleep in it!!! He is not going to break me down and ruin my pick free streak!!!!!So far so good. No picking on my face at least. A little around my cuticules and other areas you cant see....but no major picking. Still holding in there!!!
hope2heal
November 16, 2012
Well done super strong lady. I'm attempting to keep a visual diary of my progress by drawing diagrams of my face each day and marking the blemishes and number of pick-free days. I've managed to go 2-3 days without picking my forehead or cheek, but i have two holes on my chin which are causing me problems. They heal over a tiny but and then i keep digging them out again! I've no idea why. If i can go just one day without picking it would be amazing, so you are doing incredibly well. Hold your head up high now. xoxo
SpottyFace
November 17, 2012
Hey Sweetgirl!! I'm so sorry about that news...but really...you deserve someone who is devoted only to YOU!!!! I can tell just by your kind advice and responses that you are a fabulous girl and you deserve so much better!! Don't let that guy, who isn't even worthy of you, cause you to relapse! You are welcome to email me anytime!.. almorgan99@yahoo.com
goal orientated
December 07, 2012
Hi lovely! How are you coping with the man issue at present? Hope he is a distant memory, and you do not attend his wedding as his 'mate' because no one wants you to cave in that night when he is carefree, and you have worked so hard. I have noticed you have succeeded with many non-picking days ever since i.e a fresh start. We are all proud of you and wish we were that successful x
Ihatethis
November 18, 2012
I'm 38 and have picked since I was in my teens. The only thing that helps me stop us fake nails. I guess because it doesn't give me the same satisfaction or feeling as picking with my nails. I took them off because I got fungus and my face, back and legs are horrible. Don't even want to go out shopping and dread going to work tomorrow.
soembarrassed
November 20, 2012
14 days.... only picked one little bitty spot which was gone the next day. Face is looking better boy 14 days sure does make a difference. My scar (from my last major picking) and I are healing. It does not look so noticable now only to me. Hang in everyone....it gets easier. I still want to pick the hell out of my skin...but as of right now I am able to control it....:)
goal orientated
December 05, 2012
I love the way you continue counting no picking days even when you have touched your skin lightly - i should give myself some leaverage too. I have this disheartening response, and then go back to day one. What encourages you to view it as non picking? X
soembarrassed
November 23, 2012
Ugh my face has little indents....grrr what the heck are those! No picking yet my skin looks like a train wreck.
soembarrassed
November 23, 2012
Picked some...did not do any damage...no huge open red sores anyway. 17 days and i caved just a little.
picker123456
May 30, 2013
NOOO! i wish i was were you are! Ive gotten to a point were i was cleared up just scars and i know exactly how you feel. But dont start picking you totally forget for a min how much worse scabs, bleeding and huge red spots are when your face clears,, but as im sitting here now my face is covered in wounds! Sucks so bad and i have a date in one day!!!
soembarrassed
November 26, 2012
I think I have got this habit under control...now if I could just stop obsessing over what the picking has done to my face. I hate the way I look. The scars are worse then the actual picking as they are there for life....this is so heartbreaking!
soembarrassed
November 27, 2012
Will the feeling of being ugly ever go away!!
soembarrassed
December 02, 2012
Meet a new guy and all I could think was...he is looking at my scar...he is disgusted by my scar...he is turned off by my uneven skin
OurPeaceableKi…
December 03, 2012
Just going to butt in here very quickly. :) I'm new to this site but I can't tell you haw much it means to me to know that I am not the only one that has problems with picking their face. I found that I end up making a tiny, nearly non-existent spot into a big blotchy red spot! I just got into highschool an am very self conxious becuase I am havin to make new friends. I naturally have normal skin with the random spots popping up because I'm a teenager with raging hormones. Something I noticed that really helped my acne was drinking ridiculous amounts of water. Most people don't want to drink that much water because they just dont feel like water, so instead they drink coffee or something. You can always make it tea, or add a light flavoring to if. I just add a bit o lemon juice and it works wonders for my skin! It's so much less dry and it heals quickly. I also take insane Mounts of vitamin c, vitamin e, and Zync because tht makes your skin heal faster. I also find that washing your hand thoroughly REALLY helps. I hav dogs and my dog rolls in weird stuff in my backyard, and then I pet her and kiss her and cuddle her and that may be why I get random acne...ewwy. So wash your hands! Orange juice also has a ton of vitamin c btw. You can also drink some cranberry juice which helps get rid of the nasty chemicals and stuff. Sometimes those show up on your face. I apologize for the excessively long message! Hope this helped and stay strong for not only everyone who has posted saying they admire you, but mostly for YOURSELF! :)
soembarrassed
December 03, 2012
I know I should be happy. Have not picked in over 3 weeks. But I just cant be happy with the way my skin looks. The scars drive me crazy. Just a constant reminder of what I did to myself. I just have no clue what to do at this point. I know they fade over time...but I want them gone now. I want my self-esteem back!

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