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August 11, 2012

DAY 1: did I pick...not like usual. Instead I resisted the urge four times within the same bath time and eventually could not ignore the scabs on my face as I needed my skin smooth for make up in the evening (event). Replacement idea: I knew my nails would cause holes as they often do even though I trimmed them all off last month. So I took a dry cotton pad and used it in a buffing motion withoutttt staring at my actions in the mirror till i disposed of it for a second. My face was wet at the time due to being in the middle of a hot bath. It did bleed but it was short lived. Not the usual prolonged way. Pleased: Yes! Even with the bleeding, because I avoided the trance. Also the depth of my usual holes were not matched any more. I barely scrached the surface. Just rubbed it witha cotton pad to buff the dead skin. I don't want to go cold turkey immediately because I know I will spring back with a vengence after feeling the need for an outlet eventually. I am proud of myself even though my family are still shouting at me for something as simplistic as just not listeing to their stop picking rule lol. Little do they know. I told them to research my condition, yet they said it was no condition. I simply don't listen. Lol. I am still pleased with myself.
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August 11, 2012

That is a good idea. That right there is the reason for my continued picking...to get my skin smooth and even. I am trying calamin lotion as it is really helping with the redness however i have noticed that it also drying which is not good for me. I want to pick of the dried healing skin. But i am determined not to. At least with calamine lotion on i can just say that i have some bug bites that are itchy lol. I dont think anyone is buying it but a least in my mind i feel better. The hardest part is going to be going out today to a friends to pick green beans with no makeup as he is the type of person that will make some smart ass remark. My kids a very supportive. They say you can not tell or see anything unless i point it out. Which just astonishes me as i look in the mirror and the scabs and redness are all i see. Going to work is the hardest for me as i am involved with a guy there and i just hate him seeing me in this condition. I know people think i am rude because i just cant bring myself to look anyone in the eye. I am trying to have a....it is done move one attitude but that is not easy. I am very vain about my appearance and care and worry what others think.
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August 12, 2012

Aww thank you for your input. Was feeling unbothered as I thought no one would read my updates. I have been reading that Savron rapid healing is a cream that allows wounds to heal without the scabs. Shall we try it? Seems approx. £3 from Boots. Day two: picked but for aesthetic reasons i.e. to remove scabs. I was not feeling emtional. Was so gentle that I barely grazed the top pf my skin. Pleased that I have taught myself to stop 'man handling' my delicate aging skin. Received compliments from family for a change. Seems like just this once the picking did actually improve the unsightly look of dried up scabs and red blood accidently forming overnight. I look better than I did yesterday. I hope no more scabs form because I have two more dinner parties to attend. The first one being tomorrow! Somehow scabs look horrendous with foundation.
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August 12, 2012

I have not heard of the savron. Are you going to try it? I am currently sitting here with neosporin and sudocrem hoping for the best. I know what you mean abt scabs and foundation looks horrible. But i feel i also look horrible without it. So i never know what to do. I tried calamin and that seem to make it more scabby.
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August 13, 2012

Day three: did pick. What can I say! My chin is annoying me. Always the same place whereby make up looks more visible as my non-made up neck is CMs away to highlight the contrast. Nonetheless I still try a natural concealed look. Though my skin beneath it is hideous I often get called a model. I wish I wasn't living one big lie about my real appearance. Going out in the evening was okayish as I did a scrub and mask which made my skin beautifully soft in minutes. Clearsil 3min mask. Highly recommend the fruit version. If I pluck up the courage to go shopping this afternoon, yes I might try Savron Rapid Healing Cream. I live in London so it can be found at Boots. Soembarrassed, are u in a different country? PS. Wicked that you faced the world head on. I might knick that tip to force myself out... Xxx
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August 13, 2012

Goaloriented, I'm in the States but spend a portion of every other month in London, anywhere from a week to three weeks at a time. Have you researched any support groups for skin picking on your side of the pond? Just wondered if that might be something worth looking into... There's one here in Manhattan but I haven't gone to see about it...
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August 14, 2012

No luck in London Valentine. Unfortunately the therapists here are not as as advanced as American practitioners. The GPs here are unaware too as they put it down self harm and nothing habitual. It's a wonderful opportunity for you to take advantge of your location. Good luck xxx
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August 13, 2012

Yes I am in the US - Michigan. That is why I probably have not heard of Savron Rapid Healing Cream. They probably dont sell it here. Wicked is right!!! I am not going to lie and say it was easy - as it sucked. But I am trying. Today at work has been really hard. But I am doing it and plan on doing it all week. I keep telling myself that I am still the same person everyone likes at work, regardless of what I currently look like. I am in high hopes I only have to look this way for a few days....then these scabs will fall off and my skin will be a little more even. X fingers. I know it has to go from bad - to worse - to better - hopefully better will get here fast!!!! lol And worse better not hang around long!!!
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August 14, 2012

Soembarrassed, your skin seems lovely for you to reveal it at work. Mine can not even be revealed whilst throwing out the bin or hanging the laundry on the washing line. Also, I think you're in luck at an office. I stand infront of numerous individuals presenting for hours on end. Do you mind me asking your profession just out of interest? I wish I had your courage. X
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August 12, 2012

Soembarrassed, how was it like going out today?? XXX
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August 12, 2012

It was very hard...but i survived. With minimal makeup...Was a little better going out today but not much. So embarrassing but i acted like nothing was wrong. Looked people in the eyes...smiled and inwardly groaned and cried all day. Not looking forward to work tmrw as i am not healed very much. Minor set back washing face. Instead of patting my face dry i rub it without realizing i had done so...reopening some healing wounds. I was in a hurry i guess to get out of the bathroom and wasnt paying attention to what i was doing. How did you do today??
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August 14, 2012

Day 4: picked scabs. Same old ones repeatedly. Chin. But now a lot prettier to look at. Kinda frustrated that I still won't have a full day of refraining. I am hoping when my holidays end, work will force me in line again the way has in the past. A bit miffed to be honest. Angry at myself. Feel rubbish despite looking way better than i did a few days ago :( feel pathetic.
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August 14, 2012

I know you are angry with yourself...but you can do this. Hang in there. You are beautiful...hold your head up....smile and you will feel so much better!!!! That is my new goal....to look people in the eye...smile and get through the day. One day at a time. It made me feel yest posting on here through out the day what I was feeling and what I was doing. That way my fingers where busy and I was not looking in a mirror. Chin up!!
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August 14, 2012

Thanks, your words are sweet when you didn't have to make the effort with a stranger. I am having my worse scratching day since I starting this forum. Feel like... I wish i was someone else. Not me. Sick of myself. I hate the way I am. Even my twin insults me for being this way. I hate myself. I hate that people compliment me on looking like a model when underneath i look like a disaster. I hate myself. Hate myself so bad. Why me. Any liking for myself and appreciation is just my pity that only I know the struggle i go through each day. I hate myself. I dont evn wnt my partner or family to meet me. I'm too predictable. I say i will try, then struggle then wreck myself. Today it has been in reponse to insults about the way i am. Constanstly being assessed by my family is upsetting. I wna b alone so that no one can see me anymore. I have changed my workplace so that i go to places where no one knows me anymore. i wna b a different me. For today though, i hate myself for being a chronic skin picker. Idiotic and plain stupid. Hate myself so much.
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August 14, 2012

Ok that needs to stop!!!! Hating on yourself is not going to help you. You have a disorder... this is not your fault!!! If your family and especially your twin can not support and help you through this then they do not deserve you. They should be there to help not bring you down further. If they can not help you stay away from them. You need support not criticism. Please know you are special just as you are. I am sorry if I am coming across as being harsh it just upsets me when family wont be supportive.
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August 14, 2012

Okay I'm sorry for being derrogative to myself. I am going to accept this as falling off a horse so tomorrow I just need to get myself back up again. I just feel low when my condition is used in arguments with remarks like I am mental and I need to have my medication again. I used to be on mediation for depression. Then I went to qualify as a Psychology lecturer. Now I teach. Thank you for being on my side and pulling me up. You're one in a million. Xxx
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August 18, 2012

Day 5: picked a little bit but without any negative consequences i.e. pulling off scabs that were ready. Paid for fully face threading. The woman yanked out the entire front of one eye brow! Annoyed so my attention keeps going towards my eyebrows now when I use the mirror, instead of my skin. This could work in my favour...
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August 18, 2012

Day 6: So close! Didn't pick all day till late evening when I felt offended about how others viewed my skin. You see I went to the beauty parlour yesterday but had to leave without make up unexpectedly, so soldiered on with some shopping. I was brave and strangely confident as my hair and clothes looked nice. Yet then bumped in to big sis who was horrified to see me so comfortable exposing my scars. Moreover, she gave my twin a look which suggested she should have known better than to let me expose my skin. I recognise that look. So does my twin who ignored it. Only one member of the public stared in to my face. I had a good response from the public overall despite having approx 50 old scars. I am trying. I don't need frowns to stamp on my short-lived confidence.
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August 18, 2012

Good for you!!! I have been thinking the last 2 days...if they dont like the way i look then they need not look at me and they are not worth my time!! xxxx
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August 18, 2012

Hehe true. Thanks. Noticed you're trying to avoid picking a scab this time round.. good for you :)
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August 18, 2012

Yes yes i am. Hard! Hard! Hard! This is a pickers nightmare. I want to rip the dang thing off sooooo bad. So far i have been able to control the urge...i am strong willed i can do this. No i will do this. I am not going through another week of work like this! 2 months from this ugly thing is all the time it is getting from me!!!
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August 18, 2012

He chick we dealing with the same issue we shold start some kind of support group im sure it would help fell free to email me dena801@gmail.com thanks
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August 19, 2012

Hiya. How are you getting on? This website forum is the support network. X
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August 19, 2012

Day 7: hardly did anything bad though did a bit of itch-like scraching on my cheek. Some redness that soon faded off. So overall, no wounds at all for the morning. Afternoon though, teo small ones.
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August 19, 2012

Skin looking unatractive again. Been picking during my bath visits as the day has progressed.
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August 19, 2012

Oh my friend...stay outta that damn bathroom!!!! It is NOT your friend!! XXXX
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August 20, 2012

Interesting way of putting it. Thanks for giving me food for thought...
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August 19, 2012

Oh boy!!! Dont beat youself up!!! Pick yourself up...shake it off...smile...i know it is hard..but you can do it!!! Tmrw is a brand new day. I think we should all invest in outhouses. These have no mirrors...lol what do you think?
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August 19, 2012

I was gonna suggest we pee in a bucket !!!!! but didnt want to minimise the problem... x x x x
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August 20, 2012

Heheheee
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September 09, 2012

Ahahaha I look so ugly after my last picking session that I was actually thinking about this option, because I don't want the people who I share the place with to see me that way :) because of course I drink loads of water now and need to pee often, and I have a treatment on my scabs and no make up, so it would take me loads of time to be putting on and off the make up just to go and have a pee... but I don't want to feel embarrased if somebody sees me on my way to the bathroom :( it's sad, but still kind of funny :))) I'm god damn crazy :) I really hope this to be the last time I did that kind of harm to my face
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August 20, 2012

Hahaaa love it. Jungle home...or camping.
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August 20, 2012

Jungle for sure...high in the trees with tarzan...lol
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August 20, 2012

Day 8: i wish i read everyone's useful comments earlier. Thank you :) The forum and my goal to stop, slipped my mind. Terrible scratching this morning. Wounded forehead and chin. Noticing a pattern now. I scratch in the morning and later during make up removal. Also in the bath tub but not always under the shower. Dried up blood/wounds all over now. Damn! I need to go back to my initial goal which is to avoid the trance during skin picking. Minimize my mirror moments. Oh maaaan! Lets start again. My face stings right now so covered in aloe vera tonight. I need to be more regular on this forum, reading other chats. I know my next goals now. I will make it hopefully, one day.
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August 20, 2012

I love the great attitude!!! One step back but two steps forward. You slipped up..but you did not fall into the deep dark hole of self pitty. Way. To. Go. I still think you should try the calamine lotion. That worked so well for me. Stopped the stinging...itching and calmed my skin. Hang strong! I/we are all here for you!!! And you will make your goal no hopefully about it..you will!! xxxxx
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August 21, 2012

:) thank you. Yet to have two days without touching my skin although I have high hopes.
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August 21, 2012

I right at the moment...lol.... have enough high hopes for both of us....so I am sending some your way!
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August 22, 2012

Thanks :)
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August 29, 2012

You might find some help at a blog I found: http://zenhabits.net/10-tips-for-quitting-smoking/ I know the article is about quitting smoking, but I feel the effect is the same. Good luck to you. I am also starting my own recovery journey.
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August 30, 2012

thanks :) I will take a look at it this evening. How is recovery going for you? Me, a bit rocky but determined!
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August 31, 2012

Well, I'm working on a plan to quit like the website suggests. It says to take some time to plan first, and make sure you have things in place to help when urges hit. It suggests making a "quit date." That date for me will be September 12th, 2012. I too have been picking for easily a decade, and can't keep going. Good luck to you and know that you and I are in the same battle--I know we can do it :)
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October 08, 2012

Great! How is your progress? I'm back on the first date today. This time with a more reflective plan i.e. a diary. I am trying the thirty day plan with a few others on this site. X
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November 17, 2012

Olivegreen, I remember that was a good site in August, so I will browse through it again today, thanks. How are you doing with the picking?? Xx
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September 03, 2012

Hi goal orientated, I hope you're doing well. I am making the same resolve - quit picking - starting today, Sept. 3rd, 2012. I can't go a day longer as I will make more damages to my skin. I am avoiding family and friends this holiday weekend because I don't want anybody to see my scarred face - the habit is literally ruining my life. It's time, actually way pass the time, to stop. I am fully aware that the journey won't be easy, as I have tried many a times and haven't succeeded. But I am determined. Good luck to both of us. I'll come back here as often as I can to report my progress, and I'd love to know how you're doing. Best wishes.
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October 08, 2012

Hi Iquitpicking, how is your progress? Sorry for the late reply, I will try and be more regular on this site now. I am back on day 1 of no picking!!! You?? XXX
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September 06, 2012

hi all. I'm really depressed about my picking. Don't know what to do. Almost afraid to commit to quitting so I don;t have to fail again. Do any of you think this has anything to do with childhood memories?
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September 06, 2012

Its never failing, thats what yu need to remember, ever step you take is ALWAYS a step CLOSER to giving it up. It could have to do with childhood memories, it could be an anxiety issue, it could be procrastination, or even an Neurological/Chemical imbalance in the body, it could be a WIDE range of things. You've taken the first step to quitting, Asking for help. My suggestion, see your doctor, see what they think and then go from there. Once you know the cause, you will be able to find the solution :) Good Luck with your new journey :)
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September 07, 2012

3 days of no picking; Hi all! Sorry for the delayed response on the site. I began a new job over the past month which has lowered my time here. Like one of you have correctly advised, I have a plan ready for scratching incase I accidently make holes in my face. This solution has been at hand so that there is hopefully no skin problem I cannot overcome; - Scars = Stri-vectin. New wounds = Rapid repair, Savlon (closes wounds without forming scabs). Acne = Night clearasil face wash and four hour clearasil spot treatment. Dried peeling skin = Bio oil (smooths dried scabs). Fresh blood = Fair and Lovely with multi-vitamins (whitens blood stuck in holes). Make up remover = Alpha H (for adult acne). Non greasy moisturiser = 99.9% Aloe Vera Gel (kills bacteria on the surface). To improve my skin health = Perfectil for hair, skin and nails. Bathroom habits = washing face without looking, in a timely manner. I live in London but these products are likely to be online.
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September 09, 2012

Hi goal orientated, I've gone one day no picking so far, and it's really difficult, but usually I only go without picking for a day or two because I'm so busy that it doesn't cross my mind. This is the first time I've consciously made an effort to not pick in spit of having urges and I don't think I could have done it without reading your story and others like yours. Thank you! I just need to ask you what brand the rapid repair cream is as well as the stri vectin because I haven't heard of these products and I'm interested. Could I ask where you gett he multi vitamins too? I live in London as well, but I don't know where to buy most of these things. It would be a great help to me on my mission too! All the best ! xx
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October 08, 2012

Hi justme, sorry for the late reply! I accidently gave up on trying but now I am back on this site :) Savlon rapid healing cream is a blue tube from small chemists. It is a wound healer without aloowing for scabs :) . Stri vectin is a pen for scars, that I got from knightsbridge, a few minutes away from the station. I cannot remember the large store's exact name... Think it was Harrords not John Lewis. It should be online, but it is outrageously costly and stngs if you have scratched. Lastly, the muli-vitimins Perfectil in no longer stocked at Holland and Barrats. Instead, go to boots. XXX

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