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beas , 13 Aug 2012

I promise myself I will quit. Now.

I have never tried to quit. I am going to quit now. This has controlled my life- what I wear, where I go, who I see. I love myself and I don't want anything controlling me. I am setting myself free of the weight of this disorder because I am going to be conscious and aware of my actions. my plan: i used to pick in the morning after my shower. what i will do now is shower and immediately put on lotion because I don't pick my skin after i have lotion on. i will put on my lotion before looking in the mirror right when i step out of the shower. i pick my arms when i am working on writing for my courses. i will always wear a sweatshirt when i am writing so that i don't mindlessly mess with my arms. as i find myself picking, i will be aware and find out when i am week and come up with more solutions. i will not get emotional about it, or worried about it. it is nonsensical to continue so i will, no, I HAVE STOPPED. :) everyday when i make my to do list on the top will be: don't pick this will never control my life again. it is okay that i used to do this, but i won't do it again. because i love myself and i don't want to hurt myself. today is day 1. i will be back to report next sunday.
2 Answers
goal orientated
August 13, 2012
Hi Beas. Well done for your idea to quit without anyone bugging you. You are aiming for your own sense of achievement. Whether you accidently relapse as we all have whilst trying to quit, or successfully emply new coping stratgies, just know that everyone on this forum is proud of your efforts. We are all trying hard even if our skin makes us look like we don't care. Goodluck xxxx
August 13, 2012

In reply to by goal orientated

thank you. i realized when i concentrate, i rub my fingers on my forehead and chin line "searching". will keep lotion on nightstand. i don't mess if my hands have lotion on them or if my face has lotion. i think i will change my compulsion to a lotion compulsion! possibly fewer side effects except greasy keys. because of all of this i am learning about ayurveda medicine. it is the oldest form of holistic medicine from India which incorporates diet, yoga, meditation, and herbs. yoga has helped me to balance my emotions and see this problem more pragmatically. meditation has given me more self control. i am taking neem supplements and using tumeric powder in my food to help the healing from the inside out. aloe, aloe, aloe all over. i broke away from a 7 year abusive marriage, i can do this. and you can too.

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